Blog Archive

Friday, September 30, 2016

“No man can be declared guilty in his absence.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Reminiscent (reminding of, recalling, suggestive)

That is reminiscent of my camp days.

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A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

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Sick Day

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals/diaries

Word Count:

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count:

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #5 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #63 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #49 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #54 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Thursday, September 29, 2016

“We need comrades---both for joy and for sorrow.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Relevant (relating to, bearing upon)

Speak only of relevant matters if you wish your audience to remain interested.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

--- --- ---

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No Blog

Resting

Sick Day

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals/diaries

Word Count:

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 249

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #4 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #63 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #49 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #54 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

“Give me comradeship or give me death.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Remiss (negligent, careless)

He was remiss in his duties.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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The final argument is this:

Nurses must get paid free health care and childcare and parental-leave and child bearing and rearing.

Of all of the positions in all of the professional fields it ought to be nurses and teachers and stay at home housewives who ought to get free health care as a universal government benefit and not as a punishment through their employers thus nurses don’t have to worry about the ridiculous expense of health care cost.

Stress is the #1 killer in Americans.

In a modern society---why are we as far away from the truth to take well care of our workers and their families?

~~~

No Blog

There’ll be no blog this week since I’d been hemorrhaging since Friday, September 23, 2016.

I’ve seen better weeks.

As of right now I’m physically weak and low energy, however, getting better with time.

Finally, this afternoon I did get out of bed and washed dishes.

Yes, I’m making my way through an incredibly slow health week.

My only goal is to rest and cut the lawn by Friday at Sabbath sunset since after October 1^st our lawnmower won’t belong to us any longer because I gave it away to our Muslim Somali next door neighbors.

Cheers.

We’re wishing all an amazing week.

We’re still here.

We haven’t gone anywhere.

You’re not alone and neither am I.

Simply I must rest.

All of My Love;

Gabriela

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals/diaries

Word Count: 249

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 249

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #3 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #63 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #49 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #54 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

“Just to look costs nothing.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Enhance (increase in value, make better, more beautiful)

The improvements enhance the value of the property.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Upload: pmCT

No Blog

Resting

Sick Day

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals/diaries

Word Count:

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count:

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #2 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #63 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #49 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #54 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Monday, September 26, 2016

“When the sheep are sheared, the lambs tremble.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Inane (empty, pointless, asinine)

His inane remarks have no effect on the students.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Upload: pm CT

No Blog

Resting

Sick Day

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals/diaries

Word Count:

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count:

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #63 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #49 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #54 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Friday, September 23, 2016

“If you have nothing to lose, at least be brave.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Receded (gone back)

The lake had receded several feet since I saw it last.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

--- --- ---

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100% Tobacco Cigarette Smoke

Yes, as a modern and quite contemporary independent and smart and kind and intelligent woman I do enjoy to smoke 100% tobacco cigarettes at nighttime while I sit hidden away from gawking eyes and menacing looks and bright backdoor porch lights.

No, I don’t enjoy smoking cigarettes with 1,000 different types of chemicals and garbage inside of the cigarettes such as fiberglass.

Yes, throughout my adulthood there have been many years for which I’ve gone without smoking 100% tobacco cigarettes.

2001-2007 I didn’t have much money to go out much less supply myself with cigarettes thus I only smoked socially without any alcohol only water or soda and mostly stayed home on Friday and Saturday nights and read delicious books.

2013 I went through a 2^nd surgery and quit for the year.

2015 I wasn’t feeling well with benign tumors in my throat and quit smoking 100% tobacco cigarettes for about 280 days until June 29, 2016 of this summer when I was sexually molested 4 times in the span of 5 minutes.

~~~

Old Age Wrinkles

As of the recent decade I’ve conducted a private study of faces of people in their late 80’s and early 90’s.

Mostly the research shows most people of either gender either smoked or didn’t smoke at all throughout their lifetime do get as many topical wrinkles as of those who severely smoked throughout their some 50 years of work and lifestyle span and also have lived to be 80 and 90 years of age.

In other words: mostly all older people do acquire deep wrinkles due to longevity and not so much to cigarette smoke.

Not only do older people get deep wrinkles from old age they also deal with yellow teeth whether they smoked cigarettes or not at all.

Old people look old whether they’ve smoked or not throughout their lifetime.

~~~

Legal Rights to 100% Cigarette Smoke

First of all it’s my legal right to smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol and hypothetically get an abortion.

Second of all my entire life I’ve been preached and scorned and lectured about the “badness” of cigarette smoke.

In 4^th grade through 6^thgrade we were shown real actual brains and lungs of smokers and non-smokers who’d passed away and left their bodies to scientific research in the late 1980’s it was quite new scientific ground to cover with grade school age children.

None of the scary fancy brain props ever spooked me or scared me enough not to begin smoking at the age of 17 my junior year of high School after I’d been a vigorous speedskating high school athlete who twice my official times qualified to Nationals.

No, I don’t look as though I’m a huge athlete now, however, my backyard argues differently since I’m quite the “girly-girl” “tomboy” woman who will cut down trees and go the entire day without smoking one single cigarette when harsh and difficult physical work lies ahead of me for about 4 to 8 hours of labor.

What I mean to say is this: No, I don’t sit around and smoke all day long since I don’t have the time because there’s much to do and accomplish in one single day of mature adulthood.

Although, however and nonetheless it would be quite a privileged life not to worry about a single thing and sit around and smoke cigarettes mostly whenever one wanted to since it would be the ultimate freedom to a worry-free life and do nothing yet quite mesmerizingly boring to be ever as violent against one’s cellular structure.

~~~

Tobacco Smoke doesn’t cause Acne

During my early twenties (2001-2003) my adoptive mother continuously told me cigarettes and cigarette smoke caused acne and the reason why I had acne is because I smoked cigarettes only to find it was a complete lie or incredibly misled misinformation.

The reason why I have acne at the age of 39 (2016) is due to a hormone imbalance due to ‘fake’ pregnancy liquid hormones swishing around my body looking for an embryo to land and feed nutrients to a fetus.

Also another reason as for the reason why I have acne is because I was physically assaulted by a school mate who literally ran me down and jumped on me thus caused my pituitary gland to get banged on concrete at the age of 18 my senior year of high school.

Due to the stupidity or lack of information about cigarette smoke I’ve led a long decade filled full of frightening fear about how I’d caused my skin to scar in acne pock marks from cigarette smoke and hot compress packs which the hot compresses would then in turn break my skin open and ooze out the bacteria and still cause scarring nonetheless.

Cigarette smoke doesn’t cause acne.

Hormone liquids cause acne.

~~~

Fright isn’t Knowledge

Most of the last decade of my life I’ve spent it frightened of the idea I caused myself acne from cigarette smoke which is absurd since cigarette smoke doesn’t cause acne only hormone liquid does or stress.

Since, I’m constantly at the doctors for blood work and checkups then I know for certain I don’t have any type of cancer.

One would think a person with benign thyroid tumors and benign uterine tumors wouldn’t smoke cigarettes, however. The fear and the stress and the pain of living with tumors is far heavier and outweighs the pros than the cons to not smoking.

The stress of living with benign tumors in two different and separate regions of my body is tremendous high levels of stress.

Most people don’t want to hear about tumors thus at night I smoke cigarettes all alone without anybody gawking or staring at me with the vengeance of devils.

Yes, I receive a tremendous amount of relief whenever I privately smoke cigarettes without any pressure to quit smoking cigarettes or condescension about what a bad habit cigarette smoke is and how it will ultimately ruin my body since most old timers of WWII still smoke and many are still around I don’t want to believe the lies about how cigarette smoking is bad for me when smoking has saved me from tremendous physical pain and torture from tumors the size of grapefruits and apples and a whole fruit basket of tumors.

~~~

The pressure to quit cigarette smoke

Is more stressful than quitting

As a young person, my now retired psychologist father told me the greatest addiction in life is nicotine more than cocaine or heroin or meth it is nicotine for which holds steadfast to its users.

Since I smoke 100% tobacco cigarettes I feel grateful to have such piece of vital information.

No, I don’t hold a love affair with 100% tobacco smoke.

Yes, I hold a deep and profoundly important relationship with 100% tobacco cigarettes since cigarettes don’t accuse me of falling short of success or being a failure for not being able to quit 100% tobacco cigarettes before the age of 38.

100% tobacco cigarettes have quietly sat by my side when no one else would or could travel from foreign lands to be there for me through some of my most difficult moments.

100% tobacco cigarettes have quietly sat through the loneliest and happiest and mostly progressive aspects of my career.

100% tobacco cigarettes have quietly sat and deeply inhaled while I’ve lived and dealt with the blow of sexual inappropriate misbehavior rather than consent or food poisoning and insults and envy and public disgrace.

100% tobacco cigarettes have quietly sat and deeply inhaled through my failures as a woman and as a daughter and as a sister even though I know I’m a perfectly good person with awesome aspirations to do well and just by others no matter how hard anybody will try or cause abuse against my psychology or emotions or body.

By and by and time and time again it’s been 100% tobacco cigarettes for which have been the kindest and truest of friends and have done well by me more so than humans.

100% tobacco smoke is sacred and there’s nothing else to it.

If 100% tobacco smoke were to seize to exist like the bees then humans also seize to exist from the earth.

Fire must be kept alive or humans perish.

Yes, I’m done with the stress of constantly trying to quit 100% tobacco cigarettes since the stress of living in America is killing me faster than smoking or fast food or racist culture.

Personally, I don’t want to have children therefore I won’t have to quit smoking cigarettes since I know children don’t and mustn’t make friendships with parental adults then I can only foresee a lonelier future raising children all alone without any true friends around such as 100% tobacco cigarettes to keep me real and true company in the way no human can fulfill the deep and intense breathing inside the chest of any other human.

We’re all going to get old and extremely wrinkled and die.

Oh, well. It’s true.

Yes, I’m tired of being stressed out in America over trite and insignificant aspects of life which don’t matter.

Smoking tobacco is my legal right and don’t stump it out.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,500

Word Count: 1,546

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 1,993 + 1,582 = 3,575 + 1,546 = 5,121

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #3 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #62 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #48 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #53 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Thursday, September 22, 2016

“There is no cure for cowardice.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Incarcerate (to imprison, to confine)

It is necessary to incarcerate prisoners of war.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Upload: pmCT

No Blog

Resting

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals/diaries

Word Count:

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count:

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #2 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #62 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #48 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #53 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

“Even one ear of corn is not exactly like another.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Cursory (performed rapidly and superficially without real care)

He gave the paper a cursory glance.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

--- --- ---

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Am I a Bigot?

No, I’m not a Bigot.

Devil Be Gone!

الشيطان يكون ذهب!

As of last night I’ll no longer stand by any general Islamic State or Muslim religion for which keeps girls and women enslaved and oppressed and uneducated and beats and murders women and applies vaginal mutilation to the list of incited violence and crimes against girls and women and humanity in general.

The main reason for why I’m not a bigot is because for more than 20-years I’ve been extremely respectful of Islam and the Muslim religion which is neither respectful nor humane of hardly anybody much less women or girls.

It’s taken me 20-years to discover how wrong I was to be respectful of the Islamic State and the Muslim religion when such religion believes in the murder of all non-believers.

I’ll no longer stand by some quasi made-up religion for which believes murder is the only way to gain control over the world.

My family lived through the Holocaust and I defy any contemporary modern religion for which practices and carries out any type of violence or rape or crimes based upon murder and criminal intent or racist or gender bias ideology.

My eyes have been opened to how wrong I was to believe an Islamic State would rise from the ashes and be peaceful and balanced and do well by women.

My heart has awakened to how little the Muslim religion cares about humanity when the Islamic State is 2,000 years behind modern lifestyle and values thus I will no longer be any part of the problem and shield an archaic Islamic State or Muslim religion from dire and serious implications and consequences of their own making.

Seriously, I’m tired of being respectful of Islamic State and Muslim religious lies.

If any man were to act out as a male chauvinist at a workplace then there would be serious consequences, however, when Muslims openly religiously discriminate against non-believers then it seems as if it’s okay mainly because most Muslims hide behind the curtain of shameful murderous religious belief systems which leaves them far behind by a contemporary American culture of progressive growth and development and respectful discourse and conversation.

Yes, if American Muslims are completely discriminatory against me and ours then we’re able to quietly choose to shut-out and shut-down the Muslim populations for which might practice blatant bigotry from our cities and states and country and Nation.

I’m tired of sounding like a Nazi and guarding Hitler from his ultimate vengeance to take over the world one murder at a time.

The Islamic State and the Muslim religion is the modern Hitler because to stand by the violence of the world and Syrian murder specifically is to say the Muslim religion believes to be Hitler and their Nazis.

Islam is fascist principles cloaked in religion.

I’ll no longer stand by contemporary Nazis in the form of Islam.

I’ll no longer make excuses for violent crimes or murderous ideology.

I stand for peace.

I believe in Allah!

No, I neither believe in Islam nor in the Muslim religion.

Yes, I do, however, believe in non violence against Nazi believers or Muslim believers for which believe in fantasies as much as the Roman Catholics do believe and shield contemporary child rape going back 2,000 years at the history of the crimes and abuses against Roman Catholic religious followers and their little boys.

Religion is mythology.

Be careful as to what exactly one imprints into their neurological brain patterns and waves of furious religious brainwashed idealism.

~~~

Hypocritical Muslim Double Standards

Yes, in 1998 I was engaged to a fanatic and frantic bi-polar convert over into the Muslim religion.

Yes, I’ve prayed in Mosques and sat amongst Boston Muslim women and spoke about the difficulties of religious misguided values and disbelief of modern cultural practices such as wealth and capitalism and American government.

Yes, I took 9-years of academic religious courses in the form of Hinduism, Taoism, Buddhism, Islam and Christianity and Native American studies.

Yes, I’ve studied about 200 languages however I can only basically get by on 10 languages and 4 fluent languages if I really needed to know how to handle an emergency in a foreign country.

The main reason as for why my former fiancé and I didn’t marry is because my former Islamic fiancé gave me the ultimatum about how we would marry if only I became a convert over to the Islam’s Muslim religion before we married.

This is America and I told him where he could go and stick his head right into the sand.

A modern American man doesn’t dictate what religion any woman will participate and practice especially as any marriage mandate a woman doesn’t require to be told she must convert over to any religion or she’ll be a sinner for life. What.

What I haven’t liked about the Muslim religion is how hypercritical their double standards are applied to non believers.

Muslims contend with much pressure from their corrupt religion to hate and keep-out non believers thus Muslims lose their path to humanity and their vision for a better world.

To me it’s only been Muslims who hide under the cloak of a murderous religion and have said the most abusive words to my face to get me to denounce my practice of prayer to some 300-hundred Mayan Gods and intellectual atheism.

Yes, I’m an atheist.

No, I don’t believe in any God or Gods.

Yes, God is dead because there wasn’t ever a God.

No, there’s no God.

Once one makes peace with one’s religious mythological fairy tales then all there’s left are civility and dignity and obvious respect and intellect and smarts.

No, I don’t know why it’s okay for non practicing Muslim Americans to be pressured into accepting verbal abusive condescension from practicing Muslims when most Muslims hardly ever question themselves or their motives to be passive-aggressive and downright abusive of other people’s ideals and religious thoughts.

The only people I know who do blow off non believers are Muslims.

Muslims tend to hide behind their religion as an excuse to be socially inept or rude and insensitive and immature and unkind to non believers.

Only Muslims can say in the name of Allah ‘I hate your guts’ because you’re a non practicing Muslim and smile and walk away while the rest of us are still in shock anybody talks in such a disrespectful tone or way and manner in a modern world.

It’s a double standard.

If I were to discriminate against Muslims upon the basis of their violent religion then an entire community of Muslims would most likely get up in arms about how they get treated, however, hardly any Muslims are respectful of the basic Constitutional Rights and liberties of most non Muslim practicing Americans who don’t care at all about Islam or the Muslim religion since most mean-spirited and cruel religions are indeed and in fact dead at the start of this modern century.

~~~

September 1692

The Salem Witch Trials

My family knows first-hand about religious persecution.

My ancestors Elizabeth Dicer and Esther Elwell were factually incarcerated at the time of the Salem Witch Trials.

My ancestor Richard Tarr did in fact stand at the trial and spoke on behalf of the women tried as witches and he was successful in the release of their imprisonment.

The entire experience must’ve been truly frightening and traumatizing for Elizabeth Dicer and Esther Elwell to go through such an ordeal as to be anti-religiously persecuted and almost burned at the stake for being accused of witch craft which wasn’t at all true.

Under such great pressure of non-religious persecution and lies made-up by others’ ideological corrupt system of laws both women persevered together.

No, in America no one is guilty of anything until proven much less of being witches which who cares if Elizabeth Dicer or Esther Elwell were witches (which they factually weren’t witches.)

Nonetheless, if Elizabeth Dicer and Esther Elwell had wanted to practice witch craft then they very well darn could have since this is a nation and a country built upon the foundation that no such thing as Nazis in the form of Puritans shall ever run the world since Puritans were the 1692 Nazi fascist of our American country at the time.

In America there’s no such thing as trial by mob.

It’s a true and great relief since the women in my family were almost torched by the lies made-up and told by other lying women and their religious aggression to get other innocent bystanders killed simply for existing.

Control and power drives the greed of the human mind and soul and wrongful ideological religious belief systems.

Religion isn’t more important than faith.

Religion isn’t more important than self-respect.

Religion isn’t more important than nature.

Religion isn’t more important than silent prayer.

Religion isn’t more important than self-expression.

Religion isn’t more important than knowledge.

Religion isn’t more important than education.

Religion isn’t more important than freedom.

Religion is weak since religion tends to practice thieving and child rape and mutilation and violence.

Americans don’t care to mob Muslims since frankly my dears we just don’t give a damn about the Muslim religion.

Americans want to be left alone to practice and believe as they see fit without anymore religious discrimination since there’s already been much bloodshed in the name of fascist Puritan Nazis.

Peace be with you.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,500

Word Count: 1,582

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 1,993 + 1,582 = 3,575

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #62 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #48 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #53 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

“God is not kind to those who are not kind to others.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Amnesia (loss of memory, forgetfulness)

The lost man is a victim of amnesia.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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Muslim Fanatic Violence

Our hearts go out to all of the victims and their families in the Hoboken, New Jersey and Chelsea, Manhattan New York City’s Islamic fanatic terrorist two bombings and one attack.

By no means or in any way possible do I want to address or write about Islamic violent fanaticism or Islamic fanatic terroristic tendencies or Islamic religious violence since I don’t feel smart enough or well equipped to do the subject matter of Islamic fanatic terroristic violence much of any justice.

However and nonetheless let’s give the subject matter of Islamic fanatic terroristic violence some consideration from a private American citizen immigrant’s laywoman diarist viewpoint as a global communications expert and communications broadcast engineer, I know nothing.

~~~

Islamic Lords

On Wednesday, June 29, 2016 at around 8:00pm while I swept our front sidewalk our neighbors 2-doors down, one of their black male guests walked over to me and directly spat 3-times into my face because as a mature adult woman I held steadfast to my opinion about how to speak to hateful and inappropriate black children while in public then another of their guests (an obese black woman) also threw 1 glass of burning alcohol directly into my eyes all within the span of less than 5 minutes the two violent illiterate black guests created sincere crimes of violence and hatred against my person plus the police nonchalantly said there was absolutely nothing anyone could legally do about what happened to me. Okay. I guess I don’t have any rights according to our local police.

I’m still only traumatized all these months later thus we didn’t get pregnant in the month of August 2016.

The stress of violence is too much to contend with while still living 2-doors down from our violent black neighbors since our hate-filled violent black neighbors aren’t completely moved out yet thus I’ve lived in complete and utter fear for my life each and every single day for four straight years while living on our homesteaded property.

However, I’m now no longer afraid.

Now, I’m a complete mental carnivore beast and spiritually frightening to deal with since I don’t like to get sexually assaulted by anyone much less our black neighbors 2-doors down.

Yes, I do find being spat as a form of sexuality therefore I think spitting into anyone’s face is a form of “sexual assault.”

~~~

Islamic Mafioso Lords

Two days following the violent mishap I spoke to our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor who they’re now about to celebrate their 1-year anniversary of living in our neighborhood come October 15, 2016.

Over our 6-foot black painted chain linked fence I checked-in with our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor to make sure they were okay. They were. They’re fine.

If our general neighbors didn’t know about what partook place then my current legal partner and I made sure to inform our mostly peaceful surrounding neighbors about how we’re okay.

We still keep a watchful eye and a strong neighborhood lookout for any neighbors and their safety even if they spat in my face.

The one thing our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor mentioned which still makes me frightened to this day was about how she made mention of Islamic Lords.

Our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor wished she could as easily as pick-up the telephone and make a call to more or less Islamic Mafioso Lords and have Islamic Mafioso Lords calm our neighborhood violence for once and for all.

No, I didn’t agree with her then and I still don’t agree with her now about how desperate private civilians and citizens ought to make calls to any type of Mafia to solve our neighborhood violence.

My East Coast family married into Mafia, however, I don’t have anything to do with the mafia no matter how bad things get we still don’t make that one telephone call otherwise then we’d truly turn into slaves for an even more corrupt system without checks and balances than our United States of America’s current Government.

~~~

No Neighborhood Mafioso Lords

The thing for which our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor mentioned and still wrongly sits with me is our neighbor in her 32-year-old opinion actually does believe and thinks it best to bring in neighborhood Islamic Mafioso Lords to take care of our neighborhood violence while I believe in community action above all else.

Yes, I believe in the continual efforts to pick-up neighborhood garbage as well as attend book club when I have the time and be cordial and kind and respectful to our neighbors.

For almost an entire year it’s also been our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbors’ garbage on our front lawn and screams and yells from them at all hours of night and day.

How would they like it if we called-in the mafia?

Our neighbors wouldn’t like it if we were to call-in the Mafia and neither would we like it either.

No, I don’t believe in men with clubs beating and raping and pillaging their way throughout our neighborhood. No. No! NO!

What we don’t need is further violence incited and followed by more gruesome Islamic Mafioso violence.

Violence is violence and ugly and terrifying and difficult to deal with the aftermath on any daily basis much less once in a great while.

When one lives 2-doors down from violent illiterate black neighbors who rage and hate as much as ‘devils’ then one must constantly be on alert and on a look-out for one’s neighbors who are ready to strike and kill anyone because they simply feel as though it’s their right to be cruel and insensitive.

~~~

Somali Muslim Discrimination

August 2016

Recently our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor directly informed me I’m no longer to speak to her or have anything to do with her since I’m not a Muslim unless I bring free food or free stuff over to our next door neighbor’s otherwise she doesn’t want me to have anything to do with her unless she desires to waste my time while we smoke cigarettes outside once in a great while which is never.

Okay.

Discriminatory people are such a bore.

This is where I get to utilize English to my advantage.

Having our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor personally discriminate against me is not only illegal in America it’s also by far more painful than having our black American neighbors 2-doors down spit in my face 3-times and also throw a drink in my eyes is less traumatizing than being religiously discriminated against by a next door neighbor who is a proven to be a complete next door bigot.

Somehow, I do deal with the sexual or aggressive physical assault of being spat in my face 3-times far better than religious discrimination, however, I’m not yet as skilled to recover from the unfair and prejudiced blow of religious discrimination.

Devil Be Gone!

الشيطان يكون ذهب!

Much of the summer our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor sweetly spoke to us about how she seriously took garbage clean-up while her three children’s garbage blew in-and-out of our front and side yard for almost nearly a year we pick-up after the adults’ strewn garbage all over our side yard.

My current legal partner told me not to go back there ever again for any reason.

Although I ended up giving away our lawnmower thus both households are still sharing the lawnmower until October 1, 2016 when we purchase a new lawnmower for our homestead.

My current legal partner thinks our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor is manipulative.

For nearly a year we thought our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbors were a Muslim prostitute and brother pimp ring, however, we were wrong.

My current legal partner still can’t believe I did get conned out of our lawnmower. Yeah, I know.

In ten years of marriage we’ve not ever lent much less given our neighbors any tools to use or to keep much less a lawnmower.

What’s different about this Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor compared to other Muslims? Nothing much is different.

~~~

Discriminatory Women’s Neighborhood Club

About 3-weeks ago our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor informed me she wants to get to know ‘only’ Muslim women in our surrounding neighborhood to start an all exclusive Muslim women’s neighborhood club for which I’m neither welcomed to participate nor invited to partake in friendships with any of the other Muslim women on our block or neighborhood since I’m not Muslim and Muslims don’t ever trust non-believers.

I can see why.

Exclusion will get one nowhere.

Why should non-believers trust Muslims?

We shouldn’t when blatant discrimination is on the menu.

Personally I’m concerned to have our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor start an all exclusive Muslim women’s neighborhood club only since our neighbor believes in Islamic Mafioso Gangster Lords taking care of neighborhood violence rather than the United States of America’s legal judicial system of laws.

Our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor is by far more dangerous than me with any crabbiness or vile language or real tumor pain.

The more manipulative people are then the more dangerous they are.

Words make a difference.

Words make a difference between humanity or not.

If one as much as shares outside of their brain their believes and mentions out loud their dire wishes and desire of Islamic Mafioso Lords to take over our neighborhood violence then I believe anyone who directly speaks as fanatically and desperately as all of it especially someone who wants to “rule the roost” by starting a discriminatory exclusive club for Muslim women only in which I personally don’t have much in common with Muslim women and find Muslim women to be quite manipulative and off-center divided by culture and a destructive religious belief system for which hates Muslim women’s guts.

Why do people choose hatred or violence or exclusion?

It’s the epitome of American hatred to discriminate upon religious grounds or heritage, creed and race.

Our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor didn’t ever physically slap me, however, I’m still not quite able to fully and completely breathe well when I think about how much our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbor must fear us and look down upon us because we’re not non-believers yet they smile and tell us they love us and throw their garbage in our yard and yell in the middle of the night.

The entire summer I was misled to believe our Section-8 Housing Muslim Somali next door neighbors wanted to be friends until she didn’t and now I’m truly confused by this chauvinistic religion called Islam for which brain-washes their women into religious discrimination.

No, I can’t stand Islam or Muslim religious sects for which the-so-called Islamic religion is cruel and mean and murderous and willing to discriminate any brother or sister on Earth.

Dust to dust we shall return.

When people aren’t educated beyond the 12^th grade then it shows all over their character and disposition and face.

It doesn’t take long to get to know people’s true character and their discrimination.

No, my Indigenous religious values and ego aren’t hurt.

More so my Constitutional rights and liberties have been ever as violated as can be this summer.

There’s nothing to do about religious discrimination or physical violence since most of the people I’m surrounded by in this neighborhood believe their Constitutional Rights are by far more important than anybody else’s Constitutional Rights and Liberties thus the perpetual cycle of violence continues since most neighbors don’t stand up for each other, however, await with eagerness to watch yet another violent scene unfold.

It’s almost as if our neighbors get high or sexually aroused by neighborhood violence and religious discrimination and hate.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,800

Word Count: 1,993

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 1,993

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #62 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #48 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #53 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Monday, September 19, 2016

“Better an egg today than a chicken tomorrow.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Obstructive (forward pushing, sometimes impertinent)

His obstructive manner of making a suggestion was resented.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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No Blog

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals

Word Count:

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count:

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #62 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #48 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #53 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Friday, September 16, 2016

“Don’t throw away the dirty before you have the clean.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Reciprocal (mutual, affecting both parties)

Reciprocal trade agreements were made at the last meeting.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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1-Year Anniversary on Escitalopram

(September 3, 2015-September 16, 2016)

Officially broken up since April 2016

Still live in the same house

It’s been over a year since I put myself on Escitalopram due to the good reason the 7-years of ‘fake’ pregnancy liquid hormones were about to drive me to the edge of complete hormonal hatred me or into fits of quiet rage or anger or loneliness or extreme sadness.

No, I’m not medically diagnosed as “depressed” simply my ‘fake’ pregnancy hormone liquids swish around my body which cause immense amounts of pain and anger from a hormonal imbalance.

Nonetheless, I’m still as sweet as ever without any social manipulation since I’m an Indigenous peasant and simple except for my big old sharp intellect.

On Escitalopram one stays as intellectually and creatively astute as before the Escitalopram without the heroin or cocaine or meth fallout of teeth.

Most of the aspects of life for which did annoy me still do annoy me such as boredom in the form of violence or the need to physically or emotionally or psychologically or socially abuse others when any individual isn’t satisfied with their life or with oneself in general.

To me the most violent or abusive people are often the most bored people without jobs or lives or hobbies or kind and truthful friends.

~~~

Inequality Frustration

When one goes on 20MG of Escitalopram nothing about one’s personality or character changes much except the 20MG of Escitalopram takes off the edge from the desire to throw food across the wall or on the floor from a deep sense of frustration in a decade’s long struggle of marital stress from miscommunication, misunderstanding and domestic inequality.

The frustration of repeated domestic mistakes in one’s marriage or power struggles in most relationships in which one’s always made out to be the weak one in any group dynamic when nothing could be further from the truth since I’m one of the most powerful people one will ever encounter without playing the “village’s idiot” any longer since I must mature and not test people, unless...

I’m simply too tired to care about anything or anyone outside of our tiny social circle thus I don’t go out of my way to socialize since taking care of my illness is much like taking care of a newborn baby which is time consuming and tedious and on a feeding schedule.

~~~

Personally

Personally on 20MG of Escitalopram I still don’t like any screaming or shrilling or yelling or attention seeking or needy children or inarticulate minors of any age.

Personally on 20MG of Escitalopram I still don’t want to have any children for any reason whatsoever especially not to spread our seed across the earth amongst an already overpopulated and violently angry human species which often doesn’t deserve to live, however, we’re carnivores thus we do.

Personally on 20MG of Escitalopram women are still treated as second class citizens and make very little money compared to their male counterparts or intellectual equals.

~~~

A Short Marital Example

Twice this past summer my current legal partner’s “man cave” bathroom ran out of toilet paper.

My current legal partner had the gall to inform me, “There’s no toilet paper in my bathroom.”

At the time I decided not to look up from what I did thus I wouldn’t make fun of my current legal partner or make him feel as small as he made me feel.

Silently I pretended to do something else with my hands like fold kitchen towels otherwise I might’ve yelled at my current legal partner and another fight would have ensued.

I did keep my composure even though sometimes my current legal partner doesn’t deserve social graces since my current legal partner’s as dense about women or romance as his generation is about environmentalism.

I wanted to answer him, “So? What do I care?”

The second time my current legal partner came to me with his toilet paper concerns, “there’s no toilet paper in my bathroom.”

“You know where the toilet paper is kept.” I answered.

Still I continued to keep quiet while I made the bed and changed weekly bathroom body towels and washed dishes and cooked his meals and cut down backyard trees.

Personally, I thought my current legal partner was either inflicted with paralysis or he’d gone daft to directly ask me to refill his downstairs toilet paper cabinet when my current legal partner is as capable and able as any mature man is to refill his own bathroom cabinet full with toilet paper.

My current legal partner came to me with his toilet paper woes and pretty much meant to communicate with a blank stare, “Room 22 needs more fresh clean towels.”

My current legal partner’s closest female friends of 20 years have informed me my current legal partner simply has always wanted a wife to take care of ‘everything’ domestic while my current legal partner mainly and only goes to work and comes home to a hot and timely served meal and burped and changed.

My current legal partner neither has asked me to change towels in room 22 nor do I believe he ever will ask again since my quiet disposition is ten times more potent and powerful than any mouth full of vile or swear words.

My current legal partner very well knows he is often wrong and falls short of being a great husband to me mainly because all my current legal partner cares about is to sit on his rear-end and watch television and eat junk food for ten straight years of life together as we know it.

When I’m quiet and angry then I make fun of people inside my head or I judge people as harshly as only Gods can make fun of humans and the judgments are written all over my face and eyeballs since this face isn’t any type of poker face.

When I become excruciatingly frustrated after 10 straight years of repeating myself then this face is an open book of judgment and it’s obvious I’m smarter than most and sharp as a tack and extremely kind thus I don’t say what I think or with a few filled truths I might cripple people’s fragile egos for the rest of their lives thus I keep quiet or choose to call-out cruel people thus such specific people learn to leave me alone the next time they even so much as desire to come around and poke the “sleeping bear.”

~~~

Married and Alone

Personally on 20MG of Escitalopram I’m still lonely when my dog incessantly barks for 3 straight hours while working from home on the computer.

Personally on 20MG of Escitalopram I’m still lonely when I prepare and cook meals alone and change the bedding alone and make the bed military style each morning alone and do all of the chores and property work all by myself after one straight decade alone without much or any domestic help from my current legal partner.

It’s as if nothing ever changed on 20MG of Escitalopram.

The world’s still the same; I work long and hard hours. I’m overly disciplined and structured and at times the discipline and structure makes me feel dull as an enabler. I’m still all alone as well as at time lonely in this violent neighborhood and lonesome property and lonely lifestyle.

How can a woman who married in her early thirties feel as alone or as lonely as she did when she was single and fancy free?

No, I’m not any lonelier than anybody else.

I’m simply a lifestyle widow.

~~~

Lifestyle Widow

My one-and-only life-partner and legally married husband doesn’t reward me with gifts or vacations or getaways or jewelry or anything for all of my hard earned work as a domestic wife thus I’m as lonely as most married modern women are who work full-time and are overlooked by their partners as an afterthought.

We’re afterthought wives since we’ll be here for the rest of our husbands’ lives to clean up messes after our unruly husbands and their extended somewhat or mostly blatantly cruel In-Laws expect women to clean and take care of messes.

The Muslims have taught me to not ever do anything for In-Laws.

The Muslims have finally taught me In-Laws don’t care anything about their daughters married into their family therefore not to ever go out of my way for my In-Laws.

Women aren’t economic equals to men thus we’re lonely in an economically broken impoverished nation of hopelessness and violence even though I’m unusually optimistic about our future together.

We shan’t divorce or re-marry to make two other people as miserable as we are together since it’s not very nice to do something as mean or cruel as all it to two other strangers.

~~~

Men are Children

Mostly men are children.

Men simply want their mommy’s to wipe their mouths and hand-feed them or breast feed them.

Personally I believe men simply want to marry their moms and have their moms’ change their diapers and breast feed and burp them and put men down for naps.

Personally by choice I don’t have any children since I’m already married to a man and most men are children.

No, I didn’t get married to feel like a wet nanny since it’s the most sexless emotion in the entire world to feel like a nipple feeding machine.

Almost 10 years of daycare has put my sexuality on ‘halt and catch fire.’

We don’t have sex even though I’ve written we do, we don’t.

We love each other very much.

We have fun together.

We laugh together each day or not.

However, I do all of the clean-up and tending and taking care of without hardly ever being taken care of by my husband thus I feel more like a bar wench than a married woman. I’m a woman who’s hardly ever asked how my day is or how I’m doing or hardly ever thanked for any of my domestic work.

~~~

100% Tobacco Escape

Yes, I escape to the backyard to smoke 100% tobacco cigarettes to kill physical pain and mainly to be by myself since most of my life is discipline and structure and dull work and rarely does my current legal partner ever invite me out on romantic candle light dinners or weekly dates or weekend getaways or daily face time thus I escape to contemplate life inside of my head and to escape from the tedious aspects of domestic life which keep me anchored in rotation.

I smoke 100% tobacco cigarettes to ease the pain of being alone in a marriage in which I’m lonelier than I was when as a single woman.

Marriage is difficult and hard work.

Nonetheless, marriage is easier than dating.

There’re many phases and stages to married life in which one is left raw and gutted open to the soul.

As of late my current legal partner is incredibly happy with me since I haven’t yelled or screamed in an entire year with the exception of two times when my current legal partner truly overstepped his boundaries as a husband.

My current legal partner is “peachy keen” with me, however, I still feel as annoyed with my current legal partner as I always have felt annoyed about having to take on the entire workload of a household by myself.

No, I don’t want to have my current legal partner’s children since my current legal partner is more or less one of my children than my mate.

However, I’d like to get pregnant without the partnership of my current legal partner since I’m tired of caring my current legal partner without much or any end in sight to this domestic labor which makes a free working slave out of me and I know it.

Yes, I do believe I already know what the future entails which will present itself in the form of further domestic loneliness in the shape of a baby bundle and poop diapers thus I can only hope my body will reject the notion to physically carry any fetus to term.

Yes, I’m already at my wits end and have been for a decade thus nothing much will change in our marriage. I do believe children will make our marriage worse.

No, I don’t want any children since most of my life is taking care of a husband-child and isn’t it enough I care for an adult-child-boy?

Marriage is by far more difficult than single life with the exception of dating freaks or running across uncommitted male-chauvinists.

My current legal partner and I’ll continue to stay married for the remainder of our days since we both believe marriage is for life, no matter how miserable it might be for one partner.

Why does only my current legal partner get to be fulfilled and happy and taken care of in a wonderful marriage and in life in general while I don’t?

For a decade we’ve set aside $50.00 a week for my current legal partner to take his best female friend out to breakfast each week while I’ve only been out on one date with my current legal partner who doesn’t ever set any money aside to take me out to eat unless the dog has to go to the groomer, however, waiting for the groomer to call back is more like waiting for the next appointment rather than being present and catching up over a dinner date.

I feel completely and utterly alone and lonely to be a part of a hierarchal archaic system for which doesn’t fulfill me as a modern intelligent woman.

People don’t change.

We live in a caste system of gender inequality.

Marriage inequality is the perfect institution to point out just how unequal men and women truly are.

No, I don’t want to run from the love of my life or get divorced, however I can’t go on like this since I’m slowly withering away and suffocating in this relationship which doesn’t have any trips planned or anything to look forward to, ever except more free labor for my current legal partner and unfair In-Laws.

~~~

No One Person Can Change another Person

As of this spring 2016 I found out from our doctor about how my current legal partner doesn’t handle stress very well thus Eric deals with high levels of cortisol which inundate his body causing his fat cells to poison my current legal partner’s body.

The doctor told me there’s nothing I can do for my current legal partner.

Only my current legal partner can change himself.

Last September 2015 I gave my current legal partner a year to get his cortisol stress levels down since my current legal partner continued to complain about how his only stress in life was our marriage thus I put myself on Escitalopram for his sake.

After a year on Escitalopram I’m not the problem.

I’m as relieved as I can ever be relieved to discover my current legal partner is his own self induced stress.

My current legal partner’s the one who poisons his liquid hormones and mind and body and soul connection thus it isn’t me after all since I’m practically living on 20MG of Escitalopram speed and clean and clean and clean as a domestic partner and imperfect woman and extreme docile wife.

The problem in our marriage isn’t me.

Of course, I’m glad to discover the problem isn’t me after a year of walking into furniture and constant desire to spit and dry-eyes from the Escitalopram.

It’s not me!

Oh, the things women do for their men.

My current legal partner’s the one who psyches himself out and stresses himself and doesn’t seem to lose the 100 pounds he must take off his midsection.

Yes!

It’s not me!

I love my current legal partner as I love some children.

We’re not going anywhere or at least I don’t think we are.

We’ll continue to be married because we love each other and we want to be married to each other, however. This marital stress is slowly killing me.

We don’t have a wandering eye since we’re older and out of shape.

We only have an eye for each other since we’re older and out of shape.

Life’s already complicated enough as it is without throwing in sexual fetishes or crushes or complications of any type.

We’re loyal to each other and our families although we’ve been officially broken up as a couple since April 2016.

I made it.

I proved I’m not insane or mad or sad or depressed or angry.

I’m simply alone and lonely in our marriage.

No, I don’t drink beer unless my current legal partner is at home.

No, I didn’t settle in my marriage.

This is a marriage of inconvenience.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000

Word Count: 2,820

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 4,125 + 2,820 = 6,945

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #61 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #47 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #52 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Thursday, September 15, 2016

“When you go to a restaurant, choose a table near a waiter.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Imperturbable (calm, serene, cannot be disturbed)

Despite the threats of the intruder he remained imperturbable.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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P.S. Remember when one video records visuals or voiceover of anyone other person then one must be ever as professionally polite as to obtain legal “personal release” forms as well as “location” forms and possibly “music release” forms if necessary.

To film or voice record the likeness of anyone else without their written permission is highly illegal and cowardly to say the least.

In our professional files we hold hundreds of “personal release” forms since we were absolute professionals and able and willing to ask our former interviewees to sign their ‘John Hancock’s’ on the dotted line otherwise today we might have been sued for wrongful…

We’re lucky to be ever as professionals as we’ve been and continue to be even though I’m the “Taming of the Shrew” against taking advantage of others and deep down a sweetheart with a crabby disposition since I live with tumor pain.

Our derrieres are legally covered for all of time. Thank you.

~~~

H&M

1-Year Boycott

(September 15, 2016 - September 15, 2017)

One of my favorite distribution clothiers is indeed H&M.

In August of 2010 I discovered H&M when one of my sisters visited my father’s home from Allston, Boston then I consciously took and stole my sister’s beautifully designed and sewn and crafted sweater which I completely fell in love with the minor puff elastically held shoulder decorations black button down cardigan sweater and even though the sweater hasn’t ever fit me well I’ve kept the sweater inside an Armani box (2014) wrapped in tissue for all of these six years.

~~~

Armani is Armani

After a personal 5-year boycott (2009-2014) of mostly all Chinese apparel we begun to purchase “Armani Exchange” in the month of August 2014 and we haven’t looked back ever since.

Nonetheless, I must get around to doing some serious research about who sews Armani’s clothes.

In August of 2014 I ended my 5-year boycott of any Chinese made goods or apparel since I became tired of purchasing some thrift store bought recycled 1970’s clothing and items as a political and humanitarian cause and statement.

For five arduous years I couldn’t justify wearing anything Chinese sweatshop made or sewn or constructed clothes against my skin thus I wore plaid wool thrift store pants and funky looking corduroys without any holes on them.

My private citizen’s quiet political cause was alright for a while even though the cool yet outdated 1970’s wools made my skin itch in tremendous ways.

Please have heart and patience with private citizens who aren’t fashionable yet politically minded and humanitarian based especially when we’re not any type of political or social rebels or revolutionaries or reactionaries or activists or anything.

~~~

Humanitarian Prices

In September of 2007 I found a store called “Heartbreaker” in uptown, Minneapolis and the store’s cute sweaters and tops sold for $3.99 or $5.99 at end of each season’s sale thus I was able to become more updated and fashionable and modern then I had previously appeared in public dressed in awesome thrift store bought clothes although I’ve consistently relied on the Gap and Banana Republic to keep me updated and looking nice.

At “heartbreaker” store I became acquainted with a brand of awesome sweaters called “Divided” which I’ve yet to research who sews “Divided” brand of the best sweaters in the world for how inexpensive the sweaters are at retail price.

Personally, I love fashion and follow fashion rules to the letter since I don’t match my bright colorful socks with tees or corduroys not because I’m incapable of being completely fashionable simply because I was programmed to wear a non-branded uniform each and every single day of the week except Fridays thus to this day I still wear corduroys each day of the workweek since corduroys aren’t jeans along with dressy tees to work from home or from any corporate telecommunications setting.

To dress up my uniforms I’ll put on a gorgeously simple yet expensive Armani or Patagonia sweater or suit coat jackets which I’m still looking to replace my December 2014 blazer I donated since it had always been too tight on the biceps and shoulders.

~~~

Held Hostage by Fashion

Throughout much of my 5-year boycott of Chinese apparel I felt slightly physically ill at the thought of our Chinese sisters and brothers held hostage and made prisoners by the garment industry without bathroom breaks or healthy snacks or humanitarian relief.

The thought of bladder infections and exhaustion and hunger and illness and disease to our Chinese clothing sewers was enough to send me reeling and spinning into slight nausea thus I made the right decision for our home to go on a 5-year Chinese apparel boycott even though it was nearly impossible to find and purchase “Made in the U.S.A.” during my 5-year boycott.

We did the best we could during our 5-year boycott even though in December of 2006 both my current legal partner and I made the remarkable and incredible and difficult decision to participate in a 20-year socio-economic project about living as any American family of four does on $35,000 dollars per annual wage income.

Yes, my current legal partner makes $70,000 as a broadcast engineer.

Yes, as a couple we make $160,000 per annual wages from our own professional private corporate analytical engineering and creative writing consulting work.

Yes, our household lives on $35,000 per annual spending.

Our household financially takes care of $680.00 monthly mortgage, $250.00 monthly car payments, $165 monthly downtown ‘expensive’ parking garage payment, $100.00 monthly gas/electric payment, $35 monthly fiber optic fast internet, $200.00 for current legal partner’s monthly downtown lunches, $200.00 for current legal partner’s monthly breakfast meeting with one of his married female friends who meet each week throughout the 10 years of our marriage, $40.00 monthly cell phone service, $30.00 monthly satellite, $300.00 of my current legal partner’s monthly bills to pay back his incorporated company which is now dissolved, $200.00 Gabriel’s monthly bills to pay back to the Department of Education and $400.00 bi-weekly food/car gas bill.

About $3,000 per monthly household expenses equals about $3,000 X’s 12 months = $36,000.

Also $2,000 annual clothing household budget per each individual except I work from home thus I spend less on clothing since I don’t require to be seen in public on a professional weekly basis.

Furthermore, household vet budget and bills of about $300.00 per year out of pocket expenses.

$36,000 + $4,000 on annual household clothes + $300 vet = $40,300

This September I’m already $5,300 over our household’s socio-economic project and budget of our annual household spending budget of $35,000.

Yes, I do have to cut back.

The whole point of this written section is primarily to prove how expensive lifestyle costs are in contemporary America and clothing is one of the major aspects to feeling good and looking good and psychologically feeling like a modern contributing mature adult member of society thus not shopping at H&M could be costly for our household budget since H&M’s prices are wonderful, however, not at the cost of former Myanmar or Burma’s 14 year old working population.

~~~

Dependable and Humanitarian labels

“Armani Exchange” is beautifully crafted outlet clothing.

“Armani Jeans” are Armani jeans at about $100.00 a pop.

“Armani Emporio” is magnificent Emporium which doesn’t fit our obese American bodies.

“Giorgio Armani” is Giorgio which we haven’t ever purchased.

Mostly Armani is great and excellent quality from outlet to exclusive designer.

In August of 2016 we began to purchase “Armani Emporio.”

Personally, I don’t know if Armani’s sewers are well paid and get bathroom breaks and are treated humanely, however, I have research to conduct.

Personally, my research this summer led me towards Patagonia since their denim is made with organic Fair Trade cotton.

Yes, I’ve gone wild about Patagonia due to how their clothes are manufactured than their latest low-rise fit.

The 1980’s Patagonia perfectly fit well.

Nowadays one doesn’t know what one will get in the mail thus we continue to make returns since hardly anything properly fits inch per inch.

Either clothes are huge or tight.

However and nonetheless any clothier willing and capable of kindness and intelligence and smarts is close and dear to my heart.

Depending on what my research shows I might have to make the decision to be dressed in full Patagonia gear come January 2017 simply and only due to their humanitarian magnitude.

Yes, we purchase almost and nearly most of our clothes on sale since we purchase clothes when we need them and not when they’re in style.

Plus outdoor gear doesn’t ever go out of style.

Backyard bonfires and backyard recreation is all the rage and fashion nowadays since Americans love their “stay-cations” at home.

~~~

Painful Boycotts must be Administered

It deeply pains me to have to administer a 1-year H&M boycott even though international trade laws state it’s alright for 14 year olds to work in “Burma” in the garment industry.

Nevertheless, it’s not ever okay for a teen to work rather than to go to school to further their education.

Yes, I begun to work at the age of 13 with a scholarship and the work hours almost killed me then at the age of 15 I worked clearing tables at a Mexican restaurant and the staff and owners were fantastically kind and wonderful to me even though I’d lied on my application form and wrote the age 16 rather than 15.

At the time of 15 our family began to explode and fall apart thus while my parents spent most of their free time fighting over their millions of dollars I barely had any money for clothes or food thus I went to work and have been working ever since the age of 13 at my school library while I was on scholarship.

No, I don’t believe young people ought to work outside of the home before the age of 18 since many complicated social situations take place with adults.

Once one begins to work outside of the home then some aspect of one’s teenage innocence is lost forever.

Personally, I understand in other parts of the world teens must carry and support their entire families and sometimes in the upwards of 12 or more people who depend to eat off of the labor of teens.

Nevertheless, it’s adults who ought to provide for minors and not the other way around.

It’s any adult’s responsibility not to rob the teenage years of youth as children and youth sit hostage at sewing machines.

Yes, my disappointment in international trade laws and Burma and H&M is outstanding.

No, I’m not able to put words to my disappointment.

Nonetheless, I don’t have to force myself to purchase inexpensive beautifully made clothes by teenagers which in turn will be carried on my body and touch my skin.

Once again I’m making the correct and difficult choice to boycott my favorites for the right reasons.

Peace.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,800

Word Count: 1,833

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,292 + 1,833 = 4,125

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #61 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #47 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #52 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

“If you sing all summer, you’ll weep in winter.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Confound (amaze, confuse, dismay)

The magician tried to confound his audience by his skill.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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No Blog

Resting

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals

Word Count:

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,292

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #61 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #47 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #52 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

“The man who lives without a plan will die without a shroud.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Entail (involve a necessary effort, need, require)

Success will usually entail a great amount of work.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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Illnesses are Legally Private Business

As any successful professional woman who telecommunicates from her study at home and writes for a living and works part time as a modern housewife and caretaker of our enormous property and grounds I live with benign thyroid tumors and benign uterine tumors which much of my life does contend with pain also with creative and domestic and intellectual work as well as keeping up with our property and preparing quick healthy meals and keeping our family’s schedule and doctor’s appointments and social visits as well as attending parties and weddings and funerals and small private get-togethers or sending out birthday cards and hand-written holiday letters or keeping our household finances in balance.

Usually, on a daily basis I live with a number 3, 4 or 5 sharp pain in my thyroid gland and throat area in which tilting my head, too, far back sends pallets of pain into my wind-pipe.

If I bend over for, too, long while weeding the patio then my throat closes up and I don’t seem to properly breathe well.

If I were to wash and dry my throat with my hands then I gasp for air.

If I sleep in the wrong position I wake up suffocating to coughing fits.

If anyone hugs me, too, hard then my entire throat feels like mince meat fire grill.

If the collar of my favorite Pima cotton Armani crew tees as much as happen to brace or slightly rub up against my throat area then I immediately begin to cough and suffocate.

Much of my life is to keep my center of balance and great literal physical posture and composure otherwise my tumors torture my windpipe or my lumbar support.

~~~

Thyroid and Uterine Tumor Pain

As of right now I live with three small uterine benign tumors, however, the pain in my lumbar area of my lower back is a constant daily number 5 pain without taking any drugs or painkillers since October 2013 I survive intense amounts of daily pain on a regular basis. I make the pain look easy and don’t complain, too, much even though I’d love to punch a pillow or yell at my current legal partner or bite my fist, however. I don’t do either of the above mentioned.

There’s much to be said for the intense pain of uterine fibroid benign tumors which is directly felt in the lumbar support region of the my lower back therefore when I take a fifteen minute break in both the afternoon or morning and I actually do sit down to rest then I either slouch although then my thyroid tumors immediately begin to kill my windpipe or I sit up straight as though I have a rod... I’m okay with looking “stuck-up” or all, too, proper since the uterine benign tumors are complete torture in and of themselves.

My body’s tumors which in turn create a weak immune system and wreak havoc through illnesses throughout two main components and parts of my body do indeed torture me with pain each and every single day and night of my life.

By modern medical standards I’m neither considered any dire medical case nor do I have any type of terminal illness to speak of although the tumors must be monitored and watched in case the tumors were to happen to turn cancerous since I’m a cancer survivor and did actually have a deadly form of melanoma cancer cut out of my left facial cheek before the melanoma became drastic and dire and killed me within less than a year while I was a 23 year young woman I dealt with one of the most deadly types of skin cancers and I’m lucky to be alive today.

Even though I’m not dying, per se, I contend and live with drastic aspects to my health in which I must keep myself extremely healthy and not take, too, much on as well as keep stress at bay.

Living with pain is exactly like dealing with a fragile ecosystem which must be maintained in balance.

Even though I’m not a dying case, living with tumor pain is not any type of ideal life.

Sometimes I get images of shooting a horse wreathing in pain.

No, I don’t ever imagine killing myself since I’m mentally strong and emotionally stable and spiritually capable to carry on with these two different types of tumors in two separate regions of my body taking up space in my body and in my mind.

Living with cancer was difficult to say the least.

Living with cancer made me extremely tired and weak and feeble or delicate.

Living with pain is quite difficult to say the least.

Living with pain makes one extremely crabby and sharp and focused and unable to sleep well enough to feel consistently rested.

Pain is a sharp and ruthless companion.

~~~

Don’t Judge Others with Illnesses

One doesn’t ever know what’s going on inside the mind or body or spirit of another person.

The best social rule is to not judge other people since one doesn’t ever know what exactly is going on with others’ health unless others make it evidently known what exactly takes place inside of others’ bodies with what types of illnesses or overall health.

Usually it’s no one’s affair to know about the health of another person since it’s extremely private business what goes on with another who struggles with any type of illness.

On a daily basis I tend to my physical pain as though I were tending to a newborn baby.

Illness is something chronic and on-going and serious.

Nobody may judge or size up the situation of another individual when it comes to pain or illness or the torture of living with a constant painful illness which holds one in its clutches and won’t let go as dire or melodramatic as it may seem or it may sound -- indeed illnesses are time consuming and difficult to contend with as well as a relationship which much be kept balanced and even keel.

~~~

Pneumonia

When I was much younger and first adopted to Park Point, MN each winter for 7 straight winters I ended up in the emergency room with pneumonia because my adoptive mother insisted we keep the thermostat down to save on bills.

The cold chill settled into my lungs and bones and I would get ‘sick as a dog.’

Literally each year for seven straight years either once or twice per winter I’d end up in the emergency room with any one or two of severe cases of pneumonia or walking pneumonia or double pneumonia.

Four college winter breaks and summers when I went home I spent four winter breaks and four summers with either pneumonia or walking pneumonia or double pneumonia since the home I grew up was under strict orders to be kept at 55 to 62 degrees.

20 cases of pneumonia ought to have killed me yet it didn’t.

If one knows anything about pneumonia then it is this: the lungs fill up with liquid fluid which makes it extremely difficult to breathe and the lungs literally fight for oxygen while under the influence of fluid liquid.

Pneumonia is the same phenomenon as drowning in one’s fluid filled liquid lungs.

Literally one feels as though one’s drowning since drawing-in any deep breath of fresh air is nearly impossible without dislodging one’s lungs from the lung socket or chest cavity due to harsh coughing fits.

Literally with any type of pneumonia I’ve hallucinated and almost passed out in public airports and at home, however, I mentally held it together to get myself home or to put myself to bed.

Throughout my early twenties I continued to give myself pneumonia since I didn’t know a home or apartment or room ought to be kept at room temperature such as 68 degrees or thereabouts.

~~~

Compassion for People Living with Illnesses

On April of 2009 I first learned of my uterine fibroid tumors and kept it a secret since it was considered a “pre-existing” condition and at the time my healthcare insurance provider wouldn’t cover my illness.

Uterine fibroids are benign large or small tumors of the uterus which cause many women to miscarry when there isn't enough or much room in the uterus to carry a fetus.

On April of 2009 soon after our first and only miscarriage I began to hemorrhage and to this year 2016 I still continue to live with large amounts of blood loss whenever the uterine fibroids continue to healthily re-grow themselves in my uterus.

On April of 2010 we became pregnant for the first time ever in my lifetime and soon after we dealt with the first and only miscarriage of our first born.

On November 2011 I had my first laparoscopic maomectomy surgery.

Only October of 2013 I had my second laparoscopic maomectomy surgery.

If or when I have my next uterine fibroid tumor surgery then the scar tissue will not allow for me to carry a fetus to full term.

Our time sure is running out.

Yes, we’d like to get pregnant by August of 2017.

Yes, we’d like to have one child even though I don’t like to take care of children since they’re a lot of work.

Yes, we’d make kind and awesome and strict and intelligent and smart parents.

Yes, I’ll have to have a C-section no matter what.

Yes, for the first time in my life I bought a baby blanket with print of black panthers.

~~~

Compassion is ‘Imagination at work’

When I’m fashionably late by 15 minutes to any doctor’s appointment then it’s only because I already woke-up at 5am to bathe and get ready, however, whenever I hemorrhage throughout the year then by 8am I’m covered in blood and our bathtub looks like a murder scene then I must get re-bathed and re-dressed once more before I leave the house to my appointments.

No, I don’t continuously hemorrhage throughout the year, however, when I do hemorrhage then I might hemorrhage for as little as 8 weeks straight or as long as 3 continuous months.

The loss of blood is indeed tremendous and I haven’t actually passed out either in public or at home. I count my blessings. My doctors want to give me blood transfusions and I continue to deny such medical procedures.

~~~

Misplaced ‘Fake’ Pregnancy Hormones

My quite ‘real’ and ‘fake’ pregnancy hormone liquids trick themselves in generating pregnancy nourishment for a non-existent fetus which does not grow inside of my uterus thus my entire skeletal framework becomes inundated (flooded) with pregnancy hormone liquid causing tremendous amounts of skeletal pain since there’s very little room inside of my entire framework for extra pregnancy liquid hormones to comfortably take up space and swish around thus my entire body hurts since pregnancy hormone liquids are meant to go straight to the fetus and not swish around inside the body like a water slide.

It’s one of the most painful experiences of one’s life.

The pain of misplaced pregnancy liquid hormones is a 10 pain on the pain scale.

The pain of misplaced pregnancy liquid hormones is the same as continuous “growing pains” except 3 fold.

Since my misplaced pregnancy hormone liquids send incorrect or improper signals throughout my body then my body feels tightly swollen or stretched out thus I’ve contracted Carpal Tunnel Syndrome as most actual pregnant women do thus I smoke 100% “American Spirit” blue packet cigarettes to numb the vascular region in my wrists no matter how bad smoking might be the stress is worse.

My wrists kill on a daily basis from my misplaced pregnancy hormone liquids which such liquid hormones are ‘fake’ pregnant when neither my body nor mind or spirit are pregnant in any way, shape or form or capacity.

All of these tiny little medical conditions add up to one great illness which I must contend with the many different several aspects of pain I live in on a daily and nightly basis in different regions of my body.

When I finally decide to get a hysterectomy then I’ll be free from all of this pain, however, I’m waiting to turn 40 on May 14, 2017 to see if we’re actually going to get pregnant and reproduce or not.

~~~

Please, be kind.

Please, be compassionate.

People with or without illnesses deserve compassion.

It’s a crappy and mean-spirited nation we live in since people don’t have the imagination to think what others might live with or deal with their own body’s pain.

Please, stop and consider what other people must put up with to get through their days especially people who live with any type of pain or with continuous illnesses or diseases for which keep them from having a full and healthy lifestyle.

People with illnesses do accomplish tremendous feats of heroism and work and play each day even though they have handicaps against them.

Yes, I’m fit to be the next President of Costa Rica, however, it would be difficult thus I’m the CEO of my own life, time and schedule and property so I may be more able to go at my slow turtle pace, not because I’m a literal turtle only because my pace is the pace of a turtle since on average I put in about 14 hour days from start to finish since kitchen counters don’t wipe themselves and noodle water doesn’t boil itself.

No, I don’t ever touch literal turtles since turtles are carriers of salmonella.

Cheers.

Be kind to each other.

Imagine what other people must go through life to get threw one single day of illness.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,000

Word Count: 2,292

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,292

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #61 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #47 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #52 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Monday, September 12, 2016

“Better ask the way ten times than get lost.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Congruent (coincident, corresponding, in harmony)

Congruent figures are often used in geometry.

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Shouting.

Chapter 9.

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No Blog

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal goals

Word Count:

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count:

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #1 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #61 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #47 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #52 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Friday, September 9, 2016

“Glory avoids those who chase after it, and is endowed on many who did not try to pursue it.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Opprobrium (disgrace, shame reproach)

Although she was innocent she was subjected to bitter opprobrium.

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Property Manual Labor is Important

For some odd reason the painting of 1 interior door is far more exhaustive than writing 2,000 words in a 2-hour span of time.

Last night it took me from 6:00pm to 8:00pm to paint the study door.

The reason as to why I didn’t paint and write on the same day is because Carpal Tunnel Syndrome is painful on the wrists and knuckle-joints thus I had to choose one or the other of either activities, however, not both on the same day otherwise I would’ve needed a shot of morphine (exaggeration) applied straight into my right wrist.

Ultimately, in the end interior painting can be quite exhilarating and fun since the outcome is fast improved.

The door looks wonderful.

On Sunday we’ll go around our living room and do touch-ups on exterior door frames and a down stairwell to finish up our painting for the summer season.

As of this Sunday we’re shutting down our “urban farming” operation of interior house chores and outdoor work to move on to more intellectual and creative pursuits for the winter.

Not to say interior wall painting isn’t intellectual or creative work since one must practically be brilliant to paint anything well.

However, I have hand-written letters to write and birthday cards to mail out and remembrance of 9/11 as well as make long distance phone calls and connect with many friends and family members over this fall season since this summer we worked like oxen.

~~~

Fall Season

Personally, I’ll be looking for the best latte or hot chocolate or apple cider in town from any Caribou location or indie coffee shops without adding on the pounds since I lost the ten pounds I gained in April and May 2016.

My wardrobe only holds one sweater which properly fits well.

I must make the purchase of more “Heritage” fashion socks from Nicolette Target store since I practically trashed my socks this summer season while working outdoors.

We’ll travel to northern Minnesota.

Get ready with Halloween candy.

On Halloween pass out candy.

Get ready for raking of leaves and pruning in late fall.

Get ready for Thanksgiving at home with foreign cuisine.

Finally, this Christmas I’d like to purchase a cooked duck with the head still on it from any friendly local restaurant and serve duck as an intimate Christmas dinner with our tiny little family of three.

This year I’m ready for Christmas 2016.

Our Christmas gift budget of $1,000 is set aside and ready to be spent. I’ll personally make sure this year there will be gift wrapped presents underneath our Christmas tree busting full.

This Christmas there will be presents galore.

Plus, there’s a ton of other responsibilities and fun activities to fulfill such as get out winter wardrobe out and wash and dry and place into top drawers.

An adult’s life surely and truly is fun.

We have to take the car in to get a check-up.

~~~

Sober Tree Cutting

We had/still have one single invasive tree species on our homesteaded property.

The invasive tree species grows dark black “liver spots” on the tops of the tree leaves.

The invasive tree species grows faster than we can manage to keep up with it.

This July 2016 I cut down 16 small and medium-size of the same invasive tree species as well as other dead branches.

My 5’2” 150 pound frame proved I can not only cut and haul and chop 150 to 300 pound branches and trees I also did carry the bundles of chopped wood up our steep 45 degree backyard incline and placed the chopped-up wood inside a gray outdoor waste bin and brought it to the curve to have it hauled away by the city.

As of right now I’m fit as any animal can be.

On our last week of vacation in June I spent time in the basement as I cleared out an old study of mine.

Personally, I cleared out 20-years of paper and burned it all since it was all private writings. I privately burned it all along with our store-bought fire wood.

Usually we only burn store bought wood, however, this summer I was determined to get rid of 20-years of personal writings and I wasn’t about to let anyone come between me and my project.

I was determined to get rid of my hand-written writings without having another single soul ever come across or by mistake possibly read anything I wrote in private journals within the last 20-years.

We’ve gone paperless.

We either threw out or recycled 30% of our storage room’s waste/recyclables which sat in large tub bins for 4 straight years.

The neighbors were convinced we were moving out; however, alas we’re still here.

~~~

As I wrote: I spent the entire month of July cutting down 16 invasive tree species for which took over our backyard.

Tree cutting was/had been one of the most difficult physically laboring jobs I’ve ever done as of this summer.

One must be either in top physical condition to cut down trees or a beast.

Yes, I’m strong as an ox and an animal.

Tree cutting takes a great deal of time, serious precision and extreme and precise sober concentration.

Tree cutting isn’t a breezy walk around the park.

When one undertakes something as serious as tree cutting then one must be well rested, clean, well fed, well watered, gone to the bathroom and ready to concentrate on a most difficult and complex of tasks otherwise one might find themselves dead under a 150 to 300 pound tree branch or with a severed arm or severed foot or severed legs or severed toes.

Tree cutting is for the sober minded.

Thus was my month of July…soberly and carefully cutting down 16 trees without killing myself in the process of clearing our homesteaded land and backyard property.

No, I’m not a professional “urban farmer,” however, this summer I worked like an “urban farmer.”

Yes, it took me one entire week to clear bur flowering plants alone as it was.

Clearing land is for brilliant people who intelligently work painstakingly hard and the physically labor is difficult yet most satisfying plus my waistline is sublime.

I ate like a 300 pound man and didn’t gain a single pound as I watched my waistline disappear into nothingness.

~~~

Interior Painting

No, we’re not the “Addams Family,” however, the exterior of our home looks “spooky” with lots of spider webs.

It’s been a year since we’ve power washed the siding of our home with strong soap therefore we’re adding it to the list of chores we must get done this Sunday before we ‘close up’ shop for the winter season and settle into the couch with hot cider and a book over the cold winter weekends.

Yes, I’ve yet to properly survey our homesteaded property and land since my current legal partner estimates in about 40 years most of our backyard will be gone due to landslides.

We’re watching our hillside disappear before our very own eyes therefore this summer I went around the base of our hillside trees and settled down leaves to fill around the corrosive desert clay soil which is dry and easily washes away with the rain.

Lush green leaves have sprouted out of the brown leaves around the base of the large tree trunks. It looks quite pretty.

Interior painting is also a job for the sober minded otherwise one might get paint all over wood frames or doors or floors.

Painting can be such a mess therefore one must be precise and awake and alive and alert.

Personally, I’m proud of all of the physical labor I’ve done this summer.

Our little 1952 house looks awake and alert and ready for the future.

We estimate we put in about $15,000 dollars (fifteen thousand dollars) into the property this summer alone. Yes!!!

Sweat equity is nothing to sneeze about.

I picked up excess large rock and small boulders around our property and brought it to the fire pit and extended the fire pit.

Also I cleared the entire hillside and mowed down all of the clay desert grass and new green grass has now sprouted after the rains.

The windows were washed in the spring, however, now fall cleaning is here and I must get to the windows once more before the cold falls upon us all.

The gutters must be cleaned out!!!

Alas.

P.S. At 4:59pm today our 2-doors down neighbors moved out! Wow! The neighbors who spit in my face this summer are now gone. What bad Karma they must have. Our neighbors lost their home ever since they stopped paying property taxes about 4 years ago.

Tonight we Party!!!

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,400

Word Count: 1,467

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 4,321 + 45 = 4,366 + 1,467 = 5,833

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #217 of no talking during any shared programming while watching enjoyable DVR commercial-free entertainment.

*) Day #95 without disciplining neighborhood children.

*) Day #93 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #60 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #46 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #51 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Thursday, September 8, 2016

“Good men need no monuments: their acts remain their shrines.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Enthralled fascinated, enchanted)

The beauty of the scene enthralled him.

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Shouting.

Chapter 9.

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No Blog

Painting an interior study door as well as hoping to have all other miscellaneous interior painting done by this Sunday, September 11, 2016.

We’ll commence on Friday before prayers at sundown.

Peace.

Gabriel

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 1,000 personal journals

Word Count: 45

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,087 + 2,234 = 4,321 + 45 = 4,366

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #216 of no talking during any shared programming while watching enjoyable DVR commercial-free entertainment.

*) Day #94 without disciplining neighborhood children.

*) Day #92 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #60 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #46 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #51 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

“Honor is more precious than glory.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Recluse (hermit, a person who lives shut off from others, solitary)

When the recluse died it was discovered he had been a wealthy man.

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President Green Party!

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Aggravated Sexual Assault

Yes, spitting into anybody’s face is “sexual assault”

Spitting is the exchange of bodily fluids

No one person ever deserves to be spat upon for any reason of any type whatsoever.

Spitting is the same as penile ejaculation.

Spitting is the same as ejaculating all over another’s face.

No one person ever deserves to be personally sworn at for any reason of any type whatsoever, unless... It goes without say.

To make any excuse as to the reasons for why one chooses to swear or spit into the face of any woman of color is true cowardly violence.

To spit upon another person’s face is cheap violence without any real legal consequences since such a man isn’t powerful enough to throw the first punch against a woman’s face who personally offends him in her manner of opinions.

Personally, I’d rather get punched in the face than spat in the eye because when one is punched in the face then its legal proof of contact through physical violence of broken skin-on-skin then the brawl may commence to the death.

Once I get a taste for blood then I don’t seem to be able to control myself.

Yes, as a child I bit one bully.

Yes, at the age of 4 I took on an 11 year old boy and I wasn’t ever bothered again since I bit the boy in the arm and didn’t let go no matter how much he protested or struggled until I was satisfied of my self-defense technique.

When one bites then one gets the taste of blood in their mouth. I’m a carnivore. No, I’m not a cannibal.

There’s enough ‘fake’ pregnancy hormones running through my bloodstream therefore give me only one good reason or a weak excuse to kill another human in self defense since my female hormones rage like a “mama bear” each single day.

In person, I’m considered to be one of the kindest and sweetest and friendliest of people almost to the point of fault since I give much of myself to anybody around me. I like to make people feel good and happy in general and have them be quite comfortable in my presence in any shared space to a fault I need to stop doing this.

My gift in life is I’m quite fair and humble and I like to make others happy thus I hold the power to create “balance in the force” and bring comfort to all who seek peace yet usually to the detriment of myself.

Naturally I’m a natural born Western Taurus, a May baby.

I don’t much like neither stand conflict.

We only deal with conflict when conflict comes to our front door otherwise we stay out of trouble or out of conflict all together or I get awkward and shy and insecure and removed or aloof and uncomfortable inside of my skin and it’s obvious.

~~~

How the Aggravated Sexual Assault Took Place

Yes, 3 times in a row on the same hour of the same day I was aggravated sexually assaulted by our neighbors down 2-doors’ guest who as much as took it upon himself to walk over to our driveway where I last stood sweeping cut grass.

Abruptly the young black man with a large cyst on his right ear began to interrogate me about my adult opinions and the manner in which I spoke to 3 year old poser black children as well as interrogated me about my teacher assistant background with AmeriCorps which has an FBI approval check.

~~~

At 7:45pm on the evening of Wednesday, June 29^th, 2016 our neighbors’ down 2-doors’ children had been wheeling each other in a small 4-wheeled plastic toy.

As the children foot-pedaled their little manual red plastic car toy back and forth in front of our sidewalk I finished the last of my lawn cutting chores and swept off the leftover grass from the sidewalk.

Each time the angry and starved black children went by me I did step aside and stood on the verge grass primarily to be polite and receptive to the children who need much positive adult reinforcement since the black starved children always seem neglected for attention or food or water or love from anybody who’ll lend the children time thus I did my duty to be good and kind and respectful to the children and their space.

The second time the children foot pedaled by me then the little black 3-year old poser boy began to “mock” cough. (Not a real cough.)

I said to the children, “I’m sweeping here and it’s dusty therefore you might want to play further down the sidewalk.”

The children continued to ride their toy back and forth from their front yard to our front yard while I swept my way down to our driveway.

Once more I told the children it was dusty and the 3 year old con-artist continued to fake cough as he gathered sympathy from his other child companion.

~~~

Slowly but surely I swept past our driveway when the mean and cruel black hateful children came back yet once again and the little poser black 3-year old male child mock coughed for the last time therefore I caught him at his own poser faker game thus violence ensued amongst adults since I was indeed correct about the child’s unethical disposition and overall bad character and wrong motives to impose lies and create hatred and imbalance in the force.

I don’t know what the child or parents were looking for?

A lawsuit about the dust? I don’t know.

The whole situation was rather manipulative and manufactured by the children and the adults took the bait.

~~~

Directly I said to the children, “You really shouldn’t be coughing that much. I’m the one sweeping on top of the dust and I’m not coughing at all. IF you happen to be a ‘second hand smoker’ then you ought to probably move away from the dust.”

Immediately, the poser black child stopped coughing.

The child became aware and embarrassed I was unto his lies.

The older girl who was companion to the little 3-year-old poser repeated out loud the words, “Second hand smoker” and nothing else.

The eight-year-old girl didn’t repeat exactly what I’d said to the little poser boy and with boundless energy she returned to repeat out of context my words to a crowd of six drunkard black adults sitting in their front yard ready for any excuse to kick someone in the face if only one gave them the chance which we don’t ever give our aggressive neighbors the chance to kick our faces otherwise I want blood or genocide or annihilation or WWIII.

I’m peaceful and calm, cool and relaxed otherwise the alternative is deadly.

Yes, I do believe in the genocide of any violence as much as it may sound intolerant or contradictory.

Yes, I believe in genetically breeding out violent people with their unraveling DNA strands and perverted embryo tissue.

Yes, I believe in the genocide of hatred and violent perpetrators.

~~~

At 7:58pm my current legal partner arrived home from work and said hello, we kissed.

My current legal partner went inside and quickly changed into yard work clothes and came back outside to the front yard while I picked up sticks from our other next door neighbor’s front sidewalk.

My current legal partner faced me when I gave him the heads up to turn around since the black man who approached us head-on looked like he was cruising for a fight.

My current legal partner turned his 245 pound frame to face the sidewalk at 180 degrees.

I stood up from my yard work and walked over to the end of our driveway.

The 180 pound 5’5” young black man in his late chemically induced twenties with a large cyst on his right ear turned to face me as he stood 1-foot away from my face and aggressively asked, “Did you call him a ‘second hand smoker’?”

As any mirror I reflected back to him his abruptness and escalation and energy and hatred and anger and I said, “I told the children if they were ‘second hand smokers’ then to move away from the dust.”

“Do you speak like that to a 3 year old?”

“Yes, I’m direct with children and I do speak in such any manner or tone to any children who must be directly dealt with.”

He shook his head in disgust.

“Little bitch.”

“Please, don’t call me names. I haven’t sworn at you.”

“Little bitch.”

My current legal partner stepped in and said, “Hey, watch it!”

I put my right hand up to tell my current legal partner to step off since it was my fight.

“Back off, little bitch” said the man with a cyst.

“Please, don’t call my ‘husband’ names. My ‘husband’ hasn’t done anything to you.” I promptly spoke.

“Are you a teacher?” The man’s voice became filled with cruel hatred as he continued to directly speak at me.

The man thought he was going to get off on my leg by lecturing me about how to speak to stupid modern American black illiterate children.

“No, I’m not a teacher now, however, I assistant taught for one year.”

As the man asked his next question he took a step forward.

“Where, where did you assistant teach?” The man forced his way another six inches closer to my face.

The cruel and aggressive man was ever as menacing therefore I became startled by all of his questions and interrogation therefore I quickly answered, the name of the school.

“Well, you must’ve been fired or been the most terrible teacher, little bitch.” He made a dig at me, which it wasn’t true in any reality or alternative universe.

His words were full of venom. I’d been a great teacher’s assistant for one entire year (2001-2002) assisting in mathematics and Spanish while working fulltime in the public school system.

~~~

The man’s 3-year old child stood next to me as if almost ready to hold my hand since my face became hot and I was flustered to ever as much as to speak to the violent father.

In my mind’s eye I held the little boy’s hand to bring each of us comfort from the violence his degenerative father created against both of us.

The boy was an excuse to create violence.

I was the one to take the violence perpetuated against my person.

I wanted to disappear into the freshly cut grass.

I was more shocked and disgusted with the man’s misbehavior for speaking to a woman of color in his aggressive tone and spoiled ghetto unfashionable manner and offensive discourse and discriminatory black disempowerment while he fought against a woman of color right in front of his 3 year old son and my current legal partner.

Inside of myself I wept a silent tear for the child who studied my face more than his father’s.

~~~

No, I don’t know what the man wanted from me.

Definitely I wouldn’t apologize in the manner and tone in which I’d spoken to the children since not once had I sworn or screamed or yelled or called names at the children.

Simply I informed the children of the facts before them and that’s as respectful as mature adults get in direct line of communication with children since children do lie every 10 minutes and embellish and get information wrong much of their lives.

I still don’t know what the man wanted from me.

The more he interrogated me and escalated so did I in tone and manner, however, not once did I swear at the man or yell at him while he stood 2, maybe 3 inches from my face when he finally became ever as frustrated as a man can get with a woman who isn’t about to change her mind thus the man drew in a phlegm and spit as hard as he could directly into my glasses and face and eyes.

My current legal partner was about to jump in when I threw all of my body in front of my current legal partner and the black abuser and said, “NO!”

The man wanted a fight.

Except with us we would’ve murdered him and dragged his body into the house and called it a “breaking and entering.”

By this point my current legal partner had backed up and stood at the edge of the driveway while I moved forward towards our walkway and laughed out of severe shock.

“You spit on me!” I exclaimed.

“You actually spit into my face!” I continued to laugh whole heartedly.

While I stood there laughing the man came back and twice in a row spit directly into my face while I stood on our property. I couldn’t move. I was in too much shock.

I couldn’t help except to continue to laugh since only little boys with wet dreams spit on women. Actually the more I think about it the man got off on spitting in my face more such as in a sexual act than a violent one since he seemed to smirk and smile a bit. What a bunch of weird black people with their perversions.

To be continued…

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,000

Word Count: 2,234

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,087 + 2,234 = 4,321

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #215 of no talking during any shared programming while watching enjoyable DVR commercial-free entertainment.

*) Day #93 without disciplining neighborhood children.

*) Day #91 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #60 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #46 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #51 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

“Too much glory can be half disgrace.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Sullies (tarnishes, defiles, stains)

He sullies the reputation of the man by the lies he spreads about him.

--- --- ---

Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Upload: 6:03pm CT

--- --- ---

President Green Party!

--- --- ---

Welcome!

A promise is a promise…

Promises are kept…or not

Promises are meant to be broken…

(It’s an actual saying)

Very rarely do I make any promises since promises are meant to be broken.

Primarily in life as a strict basic rule or as a strong basic foundation I don’t make any personal promises as a mature adult simply as to not disappoint or upset anybody about anything at all in particular.

As I’ve already set myself up for serious failure to prove what I’ve set out to do with the basic writing criterion (measure, principal, standard) of this blog then I’ll continue on a road to self exploration, discovery and humanity, kindness, smarts and intelligence.

~~~

The main private blog promise I made six years ago was to soften my “writer’s voice” and its approach to writing as a critical modern thinker and to be less negatively hypercritical about how I critique or criticize any subject matter through writing without writing anymore 20-page college papers on each single topic which in format one must first state the positive points then the equal amount of negative points, however, a blog isn’t any academic paper rather a plat form for citizens and civilians to learn, grow and prosper as thinkers.

My “writer’s voice” is nothing like my “speaking voice” or my inner “‘thinker’s cap’ voice” or my “intrinsic voice” or “prayerful voice” or “silent voice.”

My “writer’s voice” is a complete expletive to wake up the senses since literary writers holds “Artistic License.”

My “writer’s voice” is “cutthroat” and “negative” and “hypercritical” because why not?

These are the times we live in and culture sure is “cutthroat” and “negative” and “hypercritical.”

Yes, I was taught to tear down anything which stood less than subpar throughout humane culture or society.

Why can’t my “writer’s voice” be an expletive? It can.

Why can’t my “writer’s voice” tell it like it is? It can. It’s the only way to nonfiction writing.

Why can’t my “writer’s voice” call it as it sees it? It can. It’s the only way to freedom.

Of course, my “writer’s voice” may continue to be “expletive” or “cutthroat” and “hypercritical” since it’s any writer’s prerogative (privilege, right) to set the world straight or in the correct direction and to separate confusion from unreasonable arguments which may lead culture or society astray which isn’t permissible (allowable) by any writer’s criterion or will or thought or action or means.

Writing is a way to train the mind to think well through complex situations which nothing much is complex when broken down to parts of an entire whole situation or time and place or event.

~~~

Modern American cultural spoken verbiage is primarily aggressive, rude and full of swear words.

Ever since September 11, 2001 when America lost its sense of propriety (modesty) then the masses of Americans now speak like they’ve been to high security prisons or lived in overpriced ghettos or are truck drivers or pornographers or rich Hollywood producers or gluttonous CEO’s or angry expletive civilians who for some unknown uncivilized reason don’t seem to be able to control their tongues while in public or in mixed company.

It’s rare to go out into public and not hear one single expletive word come out of some patron or consumer or voter or private citizen or business owner or sales person or parents’ mouth or hospital administrative types, yep.

Each time I hear any person or an American speak in expletives my blood runs cold.

Immediately I distrust such any person making aggressive expletive remarks specifically in libraries or shopping centers or food courts or restaurants or malls or farmers’ markets or sidewalks or hospitals except pubs are to “let down one’s hair” and be present with one’s conversational partner(s) and be completely animated about life since most of life is all suffering and must be made fun of with grand gestures and articulation and loud pronunciation (like the Italians chasing away devils)of some violent words whenever telling the mean story of physical violence against any civilians or citizens.

The moment I hear an expletive come out of any single human’s mouth then I first want to laugh then I trust them less (yet not really) and don’t expect them to be any type of grade A responsible contributing human adult only since children and elderly ears are anywhere to be found and unnecessary to hear swear words.

Although, I personally think it’s best for children to know the “real world” as soon as possible rather than get sheltered in mostly all “Caucasian” lonely suburbs where no one walks anywhere or isolated academic culture or isolated in rich culture or isolated in driving culture or isolated in all prominently one culture or another culture since the America is a mixture of all types of workers and peoples and family members and not only one (monotheistic) culture. No.

“America is a melting pot” of ideas and opinions and cultures and differences in thought and must be accepted as such otherwise one loses touch with reality. For sure. Let’s go America.

~~~

Expletives are indeed an unnatural aspect of modern “public” culture for which individuals with any type of 1980’s parentally-taught decorum must put up with “public” expletives or forget about the rude ugliness of an overall uncivilized nation such as modern America which can use as many swear words inside one’s home, however not in “public” since “public” is an arena for citizens to peacefully share such spaces without nuisance or bullying or insensibilities or threatening nature or matter or terrorizing the civility of civilization.

America’s been in the “gutter” since September 11, 2001.

America’s quite uneducated about mathematics, science and linguistics since literally tired teachers don’t care to hand out homework which the consequences will only bring further disaster to our angry and aggressive American culture and civilization which is, too, bored or too bothered to self initiate positive hobbies other than to sexually harass neighbors or terrorize any neighborhood with threatening to kill the neighbors. How rude indeed. Ha.

Personally, we hardly know any children or teens or young adults who do afford to speak proper English while their peers speak as though they recently stepped out of the gutter or out of high security prison even then it’s no excuse since words can go mighty wrong incredibly quickly especially with English.

Young American people speak as though they’re trapped in some D gangster infomercial about cellulite or how to fix cracked yellow teeth or whatever silly idea someone comes up with. I don’t know.

Life is homework and lots of it.

Life is adult paperwork.

What do you think this writing is all about? Paperwork.

Yes, I’m wealthy in fake-money because I do daily paperwork.

America proves to be rather weak when it comes to war or fights or positive conflict resolution or homework.

Rather than to keep one’s head down and do one’s homework/paperwork or stay quiet or walk away from fights Americans mouths are now full of cow dung ready to spew any vile they might and will do.

Americans’ modern expletive vocabulary goes from 1 to 60 in about a matter of seconds rather than Americans using their positive words and deescalating any situation Americans tend to escalate by calling others “little bitch.”

By the time our neighbors down 2-doors’ guest called me a “little bitch” while 3 inches away from my face then game over.

Crawl back into the hole hence one came forth.

My physical decade long martial arts training taught me to literally kill any man with any of one of many different several types of martial art moves which I refrain from using since the entire goal to martial arts isn’t to fight yet to deflate or deescalate.

~~~

On June 29^th, 2016 at 8:00pm after I was done cutting our front lawn and swept our front sidewalk then our neighbors down 2-doors’ guest came over to supposedly “put me in my place” about how I couldn’t hold any type of opinion about anything at all thus our neighbor’s guest confronted me directed to my face as he begun to escalate all I could do was stare at the large cyst on his right year.

All I wanted to do was pop the cyst for him.

The young black man in his late twenties worked himself up into a frenzy and by the time he was done interrogating me about where I’d assistant taught school he continuously called me a “little bitch” (which I have no idea what it means to be a “little bitch” possibly a puppy, however, I know what a “big bitch” means which means “cunt.”) (This lesson is about swear words therefore let’s not be afraid to say what we mean.)

Since I would not cow down to the young black man’s angry reproach the young man proceeded to spit directly into my face 3 times.

It took six obese black women to come over to our front sidewalk who then proceeded and stood in our front yard to rescue the young man from his heinous acts of violence which he then fled the scene of crime and drove away in his four door white car.

What a perverted coward.

Couldn’t even stick around for a fight he’d initiated?

Six adults stood on our front yard to impose their will and power and violence against me as one single individual.

Wow, I must have some serious power in the world even though Minnesotans tell me I’m a “nobody” then how come people anywhere I go in the world then people treat me as someone with some serious “power.” It’s because I’m a force to be reckoned with. I was born knowing humanitarian right from wrong then I took ethics and logic and mathematics hasn’t ever been as difficult as the above mentioned subject matter: “ethics” and “logic.”

After the young black man fled the crime scene then a black obese woman threw hard liquor into my face and practically blinded me right after I’d been spat into my face 3 times. What a cheap shot. Can a bully be a coward? Yes, most definitely. Absolutely yes.

Quietly with broom in hand and spit covered glasses with a hard liquor poured drink all over my face I peacefully and slowly walked our neighbors back to their front yard.

They told me to stop following them, however, I informed them it was America and I still had to finish sweeping our direct next door neighbor’s front sidewalk since I cut their verge lawn each week for 4 years in summers.

Each summer since spring 2011 I seem to get sexually assaulted by some “cunt” or another. (Yep, I leave the word “cunt” in here this excerpt for valuable literary purposes.) Thank you.

It doesn’t matter if I’m at home cutting the lawn or out and about in the town.

People simply seem to want to physically take me down and out especially when I mind my own business and cut the lawn or shop for scented oils.

~~~

By the time our local city neighborhood cops came along the cops told me there was nothing for me to do since the cops didn’t know what to do themselves about the sexual assault and crime.

The cops understood quite well there could’ve been a dead body of a young black man on our front sidewalk since the entire incident happened in front of my current legal partner and my current legal partner had just arrived home from work on the specified day mentioned above.

I threw my entire body and body weight in front of my current legal partner to keep my current legal partner from literally killing our violent neighbors’ guest 2-doors down from us.

Our violent neighbors very well know spitting into anybody’s face is a criminal act as well as grounds for self defense.

The cops in our neighborhood don’t care what happens to women of color.

The neighbors in our neighborhood also don’t care what happens to women of color.

Who cares if I’m blunt on the page? Nobody.

Nobody cares if I’m blunt on the page since Americans are physically violent in real time.

Nor do I really care, either, about anything at all.

It’s what makes me a true American.

I don’t care, however, since I write then I must.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal: 2,000

Word Count: 2,087

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,087

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #214 of no talking during any shared programming while watching enjoyable DVR commercial-free entertainment.

*) Day #92 without disciplining neighborhood children.

*) Day #90 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #1 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #60 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #46 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #51 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

Friday, June 3, 2016

“To jump into a conclusion is to by-pass the process of proof.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

--- --- ---

A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated,, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly copied unto this page.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Upload: 9:45pm CT

--- --- ---

President Bernie Sanders!

--- --- ---

Commencement Speech

2016

~~~

***

Graduate Class of 2016

Thank you to all of the Graduates’ parents and family members and teachers and professors and administrators and staff for getting our graduates of the class of 2016 to this podium.

Today I’m grateful to be here with all of you.

Thank you for inviting me to be a part of such a glorious celebration.

I’m not really sure as to what wisdom to best bestow upon you since you’re the only ones who can and will walk your path in life towards growth and development and wisdom and old age and death and legacy.

There’s nothing I can say to stop the course of your lives from happening to you.

I’m a blank canvas because there’s so much great wisdom to grant you nonetheless on such a tremendously incredibly wonderful day of celebration I almost ought to stop writing here and have you be on your merry way, however.

Since we’ve taken the time to journey and arrive at this cross road before we say our heartfelt warm goodbyes and get on with the rest of our lives then let’s begin with words of wisdom that one may not possibly expect to learn in the academic setting.

~~~

Minor Health Disclaimer

My deepest apologies I expected to be in better health than I’m now.

There’s much I’ve prepared to say to you all, however, my right hand’s now stiff and cramped from yesterday’s cortisone shot administered into my right wrist therefore I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to write tonight.

Within the next hour no matter what might happen to my right wrist or hand I’ll come back to this commencement speech by no later than next Friday, June 10, 2016.

Oh, disappointment. I know. We can all get over ourselves.

~~~

The Pain of Loss is Real

There were many words of wisdom I’d prepared and now none of them seem to matter much.

All I can feel is the sharp pain of my right wrist throbbing against skin and bone.

Pain is as real as you and I are now.

Loss is as real as you and I are now.

There will be many times in life in which opportunities and accessibility and friendships and finances and jobs will be lost and painful to you.

These types of losses are difficult to bear, however, not impossible to get over with time and more time.

Smart people get over themselves and move on.

The pain of loss is ever as real as the taste of food.

The key to overcome loss is not to be too hard on oneself and to keep the mind clear of confusion and foolishness and silliness and others’ bad suggestions or manipulations.

It’s best to attend to one’s good health and daily hygiene routine and the self and the mind and chores and home and work and community than to concentrate on loss alone.

With loss sooner or later one will go through all of the stages of grief and either accepts the pain of loss or not.

There’s no greater loss than the loss of good health.

Without good health one is fragile and incredibly vulnerable to life.

Good health is most of all important hence once good health is lost then good basic health might take years or an entire lifetime to regain as in any matter of high quality of lifestyle pertaining to great health.

It’s best not to gain anymore than 20 pounds from the age of 18.

It’s best not to gain any weight at all, however, when life throws one a health curve ball then either one’s going to bat or not.

The secret to life is not to concentrate on how fast anyone else pitches or how hard anybody else hits the ball.

The secret to life is to focus on the ball.

Imagine the ball in slow motion then with all of the talent and smarts and intelligence and kindness and respect in one’s soul being take a good swing at the baseball right in front of you then feel your own power to be humanly free from all ridicule and criticism and sarcasm and self doubt.

The best anyone human may do in life is to show-up to practice, put in their time and learn and be the very best one is able to and knows how to be kind and smart and intelligent and respectful towards all others.

Respect is key to any good and great prosperous life.

Good life isn’t about competition. No.

Others must first be great and mighty and wise and respectful opponents for one to so much as care to respectfully compete against specific opponents.

Good, great and proper competition takes vast amounts of intelligence and energy therefore one mustn’t go around competing against others for the sake of doing so thus one’s foolish enough to give up one’s life energy and life source over to an empty and shallow lost cause.

Competition is about the consideration of others’ smarts and intelligence and kindness and to learn from others to become a keen player of observation and more importantly to develop into a better overall person each step along the way.

Competition has nothing to do with being ruthless unless we’re confusing competition with war.

A matter of great life and living is about common basic fundamental respect towards others especially when others are extremely different in race, creed or religion.

Good life is about looking reflection inward and drawing-out the best of the respectful self.

Good life is about the ability to ‘crack a smile’ when all odds are piled sky-high and mostly all seems lost except for the good and great ability to intelligently laugh in the face of disaster or cancer or hemorrhaging or pain and to heal one’s self back to good and great standing with health.

A good and continuous great relationship to health is vitally important for peace of mind.

Life has nothing to do with other people’s business and what they’re into or not into or whether they’re monetarily successful or not since we’re all food for worms.

Life has mostly to do with the self and the harsh truth to reality as to whether the self likes the self.

Life is about self-love without Narcissistic tendencies to forget about the effort to win for others thus all who gather may peacefully break bread together united as one Nation under gods.

Play and have fun.

Please, don’t take one’s ego too seriously, however, do take one’s health most importantly into consideration since life is any short lived existence then we’re gone.

No, I’m not being dark or melodramatic or dark humored simply I’m stating the facts to the other side of the hopeful coin.

With good health comes great and joyous life.

Without good health comes…

If one is as lucky as to be bestowed with great health then have fun and be mindful of other people who don’t have it as good as the people who do have good and great health.

To inappropriately publically scream or yell or shriek or shrill or sing upsets the literal internal vibrations of the inner organs and tumors to excruciating levels of pain thus have as much mature fun as possible without being brutes and be mindful of one’s hearing since once one’s good hearing is lost its lost forever.

For people who live with tumors attached to organs then we know what screams and yells and shrieks and shrills do to the literal internal vibration of our bodies which is to ‘rattle’ the tumors thus creating more steadfast intensified pain than if or when the tumors sit and rest in peace inside of our bodies or attached to our organs.

Tumors attach to the inner walls of cavities or organs thus it’s quite easy to ‘joust’ tumors or vibrate tumors about therefore good life doesn’t mean public screams or yells or shrieks or shrills or misbehavior or doing or saying anything one desires.

Good life is about mindfulness.

May the gods be with us all through this beautiful life.

May the gods grant us joy, peace and grace.

May the gods be with us now.

May the gods deliver us from the pain of loss of good health.

Now, let’s play ball!

~~~

Communication is Power

Making sure one is an upright and respectful modern American mature Citizen and Civilian means self-sufficiency and taking care of one’s business.

Taking care of one’s business means the way in which one verbally or non-verbally communicates with others is how much or how little one has any power to will wisdom and respect.

Success has nothing to do with monetary means or value.

“You can’t take it with you.”

Success has to do with how much natural wisdom one gathers along the road of life’s journey to dispense respect without boasting or showing off otherwise it’s the opposite of respect and wisdom to boast or show off.

Boasting is insecurity.

Showing off is lack of confidence.

No one may criticize or judge the lifestyle of others, however, don’t push one’s life choices upon others either.

People are their own vessels.

People are their own instruments.

People work in their own way and in their own right to choose what’s best for them.

No one has any answers about the lifestyle of others.

No one much less knows anything about life except for we know we don’t know anything about anything.

It’s not acceptable to be a know-it-all.

It’s not acceptable to pretend to be better than others.

It’s not acceptable to brag about oneself.

It’s best to ask smart and intelligent and direct and kind and respectful questions or sit quietly and look around and enjoy the ambiance.

It’s not acceptable to make large amounts of money while crushing or destroying the Earth, the plants, the trees, the flowers and the animal kingdom and the oceans.

It’s best to follow through on one’s own word.

If one says they’ll be at a certain place at a certain time then be there or be square.

Be there showered and fully appropriately dressed for the occasion with brushed teeth and combed hair 15 minutes early or on time.

If one says they’ll do XY and Z then do it unless one has good medical excuse from their doctor.

Get people’s names correctly spelled or annunciated.

Respectfully ask as many times as it takes to get one’s correct name. There’s no shame in being thorough or meticulous.

As any host don’t keep guests waiting.

As any host don’t ever for any reason get involved in the difficult or complicate social situations of other guests unless they directly ask the host to fairly mediate for them at another time.

Allow for others to work out their own business between each other.

“Come one! Come all!”

Either invite all of one’s peer group or social group or friends or family members or don’t hold any type of reunion or party or any wedding or any funeral unless together others get the chance to partake as witnesses in their own right with an open invitation and a welcome smile no matter what’s partaken place in the past.

The past is the past.

Let it go.

Let go of the past.

Forgive and don’t forget yet move on with life.

To have family members be uninvited to weddings or funerals and not to allow for certain family members to celebrate or grieve in their own manner is the highest social form of “retardation” and inexcusable misbehavior to do intentional harm towards others.

People know truth.

Truth seeks light.

Truth wins over any manipulation to stir any social group in any one particular direction toward the benefit of an individual and not the total sum of the group’s benefit.

Yes, do invite the weird uncle or the quiet niece or the loud aunt or the drunken siblings or the manipulative parent and sit back and allow for life to unfold otherwise stay home and relax and don’t worry about any of it.

Life has a way of managing itself out even the most of difficult situations and relationships.

As a guest don’t pass up having dinner with an enemy simply because one doesn’t like one’s enemy unless an enemy is any real blatant racist then well, what a loss for any of one’s enemy.

It’ll be inevitable one will make enemies thus authentically smile at them and wish them a good and wonderful day and drink to their good and great health.

Wish absolutely no harm to one’s enemy.

One doesn’t ever know when an enemy will come to one’s rescue or aid.

Enemies are friends with crushes who don’t know how to show love.

If one doesn’t desire to socialize then kindly and respectfully decline any invitation.

One isn’t obliged to have to take care of any other adult.

One isn’t obliged to visit with anyone they might not have time for or a taste for or the will to sit through their repetitious historical chatter or resume.

Have protected sexual encounters with people one likes or loves.

One is the total sum of one’s sexual encounters.

The people one has sexual relations with are the very people who will become a part of our genetic structure or make-up thus get smart about sex.

It takes one full year to really or truly get to know anyone.

Take the time to make friends in one’s peer age group and not outside of it.

Whenever one’s 90 year old friends pass away then one’s all alone thus and therefore do make friends with people no more than about 3 to 5 years within one’s age bracket.

If at all possible don’t marry or hold any romantic relationship to anyone who snores otherwise one shan’t ever again sleep well.

Old people don’t know anything.

Young people don’t know anything.

Middle-Aged people know facts.

A “mid-age crisis” is a myth as an excuse towards misbehavior.

“Sleep-apnea” is also a myth.

If one holds any desire for a best-friend then get a dog which one will be respectful and loving towards their family companion and surrogate children.

If ever don’t feel shame or guilt when relationships don’t work out.

Have one drink per night.

Be good to yourselves.

You shan’t be alone.

We’ll be right here alongside you.

We love you.

Take good care.

We wish the very best for you.

With All My Love;

Gabriela

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Officially on vacation as of right now!

Word Count Goal: 2,449 Commencement Speech 2016

Word Count: 2,449

This Week’s Total Word Count Goal: 5,000

This Week’s Total Word Count: 2,659 + 2,449 = 5,105

One Year Health Goal for each of the following Items:

*) Day #126 of no talking during any shared programming while watching enjoyable DVR commercial-free entertainment.

*) Day #4 without disciplining neighborhood children.

*) Day #2 without verbal swear words. I like it.

*) Day #261 without a cigarette. It’s alright. I like it.

*) Day #33 without debate about domestic “distribution of labor.”

*) Week #5 without marital stress about equal domestic labor.

*) Blood Pressure: 103/69 mmHg / Pulse: 61 (05/25/16)

*) CHOLESTEROL, Total

294 (10/20/2014), 245 (06/02/15), 276 (01/22/16)

HDL Cholesterol

49 (10/20/2014), 50 (06/02/15), 52 (01/22/16)

Triglycerides

296 H (10/20/2014), 241 H (06/02/15), 253 H (01/22/16)

LDL-Cholesterol

186 H (10/20/2014), 147 H (06/02/15), 173 H (01/22/16)

CHOL/HDLC RATIO

6.0 H (10/20/2014), 4.9 (06/02/15), 5.3 H (01/22/16)

NON HDL CHLOESTEROL

245 H (10/20/2014), 195 H (06/02/15), 224 H (01/22/16)

IRON, Total

79 mcg/dl (10/20/2014), 52 mcg/dl (06/02/15), 137 mcg/dl

(01/22/16)

CORTISOL, Total

19.2 (10/20/2014), N/A (06/02/15), 11.9 (01/22/16)

*) Week #46 of higher dosage of birth control pill: “Zovia 1/50E (28) 1-50 MG-MCG”

*) Week #32 of one sleeping pill per night by mouth: “Zolpidem Tartrate 10 MG”

*) Week #37 (09/03/15) on antidepressants one per day by mouth: “Escitalopram Oxalate 20 MG” (03/01/16 change of dosage.)

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