Wednesday, January 31, 2018

“An insincere kiss is worse than an honest blow.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Propensity (a liking for, inclination toward)

He showed propensity for growing non-MGO foods.

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A book: “Manners Culture and Dress: of the Best American Society, including social, commercial and legal forms, Letter Writing, Invitations, &c., also valuable suggestions on Self Culture and Home Training” By Richard A. Wells, A.M., Illustrated, King, Richardson & CO., Publishers, Springfield, Mass., and De Moines, Iowa, 1891.

Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

Never speak to your acquaintances from one side of the street to the other. Shouting is a certain sign of vulgarity. First approach, and then make your communication to your acquaintance or friend in a moderately loud tone of voice.

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello. Hi.

Upload: 3:42pm CT

Happy Wednesday!

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You do know writing isn’t real?

Right? Right.

Writing is a form of expression.

Writers hold the right not to be personally judged by their writings since writing is subjective. (We’re all caught up to first year college composition? Right.) Yes. Good.

Modern men are intelligently mature enough to read about women’s health otherwise mature men don’t read certain aspects to women’s health.

Yes, modern men ask questions about their female friends’ fallopian tubes filled with blood. I don’t know. Seek a medical doctor.

~~~

I’m human.

I’m a citizen.

No, I’m not the “queen” of the world. I’m steady. I’m a citizen. I’m a worker bee. If anything I mind the (figurative literary) helm and keep a direct and calm course forward to forgive and forget. I believe in Indigenous medicine of “mind over matter” and breathe and relax and sit whenever possible and am emotionally strong and don’t allow for toxic individuals to (figurative literary) “poison the mind.”

Yes, the truth is I don’t belong in this Midwestern culture. There, finally. The truth.

Yes, for the past twenty-years I’ve been treated as a Native American with fear and contempt or a foreigner which I can’t help to have been adopted at the age of ten.

Ten years of age is, too, late to adopt children from foreign countries due to autoimmune diseases. I’m hardwired for an overall Costa Rican pace of life and sensitivities.

~~~

No, I don’t like living in Minnesota.

Minnesota is well established for its quiet racism.

No, it’s no secret I haven’t ever liked any type of Midwestern racism and insular religious culture. I’ve lived in New York City and Boston and New England and Costa Rica and canoed and rock climbed and seen the vistas and understand other cultures are by far more humane and civil than the Midwest loathes people of color especially the Native Americans therefore racism prevails and micro-aggression is only funny to a certain point even though we keep laughing at micro-aggression.

By the age of ten I was already hardwired ha for a beautiful pace of life such as peaceful Costa Rican laid-back culture yet extremely strict with the Indigenous since there’s also much racism in Costa Rica.

There’s no reason to be insecure.

Errands need to be run.

~~~

Back story to a grateful attitude.

Fibroid tumors humbled me whenever hunched over from eight years of severe #7, #8 and #9 uterine Fibroid tumor pains and severe Carpal Tunnel Syndrome which I no longer have either wrist pain or uterine pain.

2006 I stood in line for EBT card and emergency housing assistance when my unemployment benefits ran out. I’m the least snobbish or harsh toned or mean spirited or ungrateful person. I’m grateful for each day without uterine fibroid tumor pain. I’m the same person year after year. Greetings and Salutations.

The only people I’ve ever met hunched over the way I was hunched over with uterine fibroid tumor pain were 90 year olds with osteoporosis.

~~~

I’ve been informed.

Finally I’ve been informed to “wake up and smell the coffee” people of color don’t hold the same rights as Caucasians do. Good to know. Thanks. I was adopted into a Caucasian family therefore I thought I held the same rights as Caucasians until this summer 2017. Now, I get it. Pigmentation dictates how people get treated with respect or not.

Writing isn’t real. Writing isn’t real. Writing isn’t real.

Writing is opinionated and biased thoughts of one individual or individuals without having to sell anything to anyone.

No, this blog isn’t me. This blog is about life in general as the times we live in. This blog is a writing tool to express thoughts about our modern day life.

No, this blog hasn’t ever made any money from the content.

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~~~

Hashimoto’s Disease

Since I was twenty-five years of age my dad (master’s degree in psychology) told me he thinks I don’t have a mental illness.

Rather I have some type of thyroid condition.

To catch a thyroid condition is nearly impossible therefore people with either hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism are more apt to be misdiagnosed with a mental illness rather than a curable yet quite serious thyroid illness or autoimmune disease.

It’s quite dangerous to the patient to be misdiagnosed with a mental illness when in fact it’s a thyroid illness and the concern is physical and not mental.

One can be tested for years or decades and not have any findings of any type of thyroid condition even though one lives with all of the symptoms of either hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism.

The reason why I don’t feel insane is because throughout most of my life I’ve been a dutiful and steady and obedient person who sleeps like a baby and gets up and gets my days going and dealt with life as beautifully as one can.

Yes, I’ve known for decades I live in a Midwestern culture of micro-aggression therefore all one can do is laugh about the injustices of the world.

My friends (white and people of color) tell me the reason why I ended up in a 72-hour hold on August of 2017 is because I was terrified to speak to the police when the cops came to the front door of the house.

My friends tell me it’s an easy mistake to make, not to want to speak to the cops yet cops consider themselves above the law and cops are under the impression or believe citizens must engage with cops and I didn’t know it at the time.

In order for cops to detain people, cops must first hold warrants especially when one doesn’t hold any priors or a clean record all the way to the age of forty.

If people are to be detained then please read people their rights and peacefully take people to jail is the first step. People have rights. There’s protocol.

~~~

Yes, I’m a 1990’s generation and I was taught we can always peacefully walk away from cops and not have to speak to cops for any reason whatsoever especially if we have nothing to do with the situation at hand.

In hindsight my friends tell me I ought to have been willing to speak to the white cops rather than peacefully walked away from the cops.

My friends tell me not to beat myself up over it for being scared to speak to white cops since most people of color are terrified to speak to white cops since people of color don’t know if we’ll be shot on the spot and killed or murdered by white cops.

It’s a fact of the times. Not because I say it.

Anytime, the cops get involved with people of color then we know our chances to either be sexually assaulted or murdered go up by 300%. We know.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count: 1,182

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 1,054 + 2,200 = 3,286 + 1,182 = 4,468

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

“Fooling people with words is more contemptible then cheating them out of money.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Chaotic (disorderly, completely mixed-up)

The chaotic condition of his room shows how careless he is.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello. Hi.

Upload: 1:02pm CT

Happy Tuesday!

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My new favorite movie is “Drop Dead Gorgeous.”

Is it insane for an entire culture to be monotheist? Yes.

Is it insane for an entire culture to be one skin color and hold most of the control in social engineering? Yes.

Is it insane not to want to be conditioned to socialize with passive-aggression? No.

Factual modern science now proves passive-aggression is a form of emotional abuse and psychological abuse except the people who act passive-aggressively don’t have the courage to be direct or quiet. “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”

The reason why the Midwest continually stays trapped in the racist past is because racism is disguised with passive-aggression rather than direct racism while passive-aggressive racism is not only racist also emotionally abusive and downright cruel.

Why do Northern Minnesota Caucasian Midwestern women take offense to people of color who don’t like to socialize with passive-aggressiveness?

Passive-aggression isn’t a disguise for humor. No.

Passive-aggression is meant to insult.

Passive-aggression is a cowardly way to communicate.

Why do Caucasians take offense to people of color who don’t want to socialize with harsh innuendos or bitterness and people who carry a chip on their shoulders when Caucasians have all of the control and power and money?

Why do Caucasians take offense to people of color knowing the racial struggle is real and exists?

Why do Caucasians not like having their social structures rejected?

Why do Caucasians continue patterns of abuse when Caucasians feel their control slips away from them?

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~~~

Is Racist Discrimination Insanity?

Is it insane to be an immigrant? No.

Is it insane to be born a woman? No.

Is it insane to be born a woman of color? No.

Is it insane to dislike the overall racist culture of where one lives? No.

Is it insane to disagree? No.

Is it insane to respectfully stand up for oneself? No.

Is it insane to ask for what one needs from those we know best? No.

Is it insane to ask for help from those we know best? No.

Is it insane to ask for peaceful resolution? No.

Is it insane to be English as a Second Language speaker? No.

Is it insane to have an authentic English Accent? No.

Is it insane not to have any type of English accent? No.

Is it insane to be born any person of color? No.

Is it insane to be born with darker pigmentation? No.

Is it insane to be multi-cultural? No.

Is it insane to be multi-lingual? No.

Is it insane to ask to please not be misused or abused? No.

Is it insane to be sensitive to other cultures? No.

Is it insane to be sensitive to racism? No.

Is it insane to be sensitive to discrimination? No.

Is it insane to be thin-skinned about discrimination? No.

Is it insane to want to laugh at racism? No.

Is it insane to want to laugh at discrimination? No.

Is it insane to dislike regional passive-aggressive miscommunication? No.

Is it insane to be born with human worth? No.

Is it insane to be born with worth as a human of color? No.

Is it insane to be poor? No.

Is it insane to be broke? No.

Is it insane to be any low income earner? No.

Is it insane to be any middle income earner? No.

Is it insane to be any high income earner? No.

Is it insane to be well read? No.

Is it insane to love music? No.

Is it insane to come from controlling families? No.

Is it insane to be adopted under the age of three? No.

(To adopt foreign children after the age of four is mainly to subject one to live out one’s days with terrible auto-immune diseases rather than mental illness.)

Is it insane to overlook control freaks? No.

Is it insane not to ask for permission to do anything? No.

Is it insane to want to be respectfully treated as an adult? No.

Is it insane to always be the first to walk away from any disagreements? No.

Is it insane to stay away from disagreements? No.

Is it insane to stay away from insults? No.

Is it insane to stay away from being second-guessed? No.

Is it insane to stay away from overt contempt? No.

Is it insane to stay away from covert criticism? No.

Is it insane to stay away from emotional abuse? No.

Is it insane to stay away from psychological abuse? No.

Is it insane to quietly make one’s way amongst any overall racist culture? No.

Is it insane for people of color to be thought of as beautiful? No.

Is it insane to keep the peace? No.

Is it insane to be agreeable? No.

Is it insane to be emotionally intelligent? No.

Is it insane to deescalate? No.

Is it insane to be on the quieter side of life? No.

Is it insane to be born people of color? No.

Is it insane for people of color to expect the same level of respect as Caucasians? No.

Is it insane for people of color to expect the same level of consideration for jobs in the same ways in which Caucasians are considered for jobs? No.

Is it insane for people of color to expect fair wages and health benefits? No.

Is it insane for people of color not to like being socially controlled? No.

Is it insane for people of color not to like being socially engineered? No.

Is it insane for people of color not to like being discriminated against? No.

Is it insane for people of color to speak their respectful minds? No.

Is it insane for people of color to say “No, thank you” however people of color choose to do with their down time? No.

Is it insane for people of color to be home-bodies? No.

Is it insane for people of color to add their own spices to their “smelly” “ethnic” foods? No.

Is it insane to dress in ethnic garb? No.

Is it insane to dress in ethnic head ware? No.

Is it insane to speak multiple languages? No.

Is it insane to swear? No.

Is it insane not to swear? No. It’s discipline.

Is it insane to refuse to put up with passive-aggression? No.

Is it insane to not be interested in brain-damage football? No.

Is it insane to be interested in books and articles? No.

Is it insane to be interested in modern culture? No.

Is it insane to write? No.

Is it insane to take breaks from television? No.

Is it insane to take breaks from talk-radio? No.

Is it insane to ask for affordable housing? No.

Is it insane to ask for affordable cost of living? No.

Is it insane to ask for affordable non-GMO foods? No.

Is it insane to ask for non-hormonal foods? No.

Is it insane to ask for no antibiotics in foods? No.

Is it insane to wear short hair as women? No.

Is it insane to wear pants as modern women? No.

Is it insane to cover up one’s cleavage? No.

Is it insane to be any modest modern dresser? No.

Is it insane to run errands in the cold? No.

Is it insane to ask to be heard? No.

Is it insane to have no expectations? No.

Is it insane to set goals? No.

Is it insane to fulfill dreams? No.

Is it insane to agree to disagree? No.

Is it insane to want to be left in peace? No.

Is it insane to want to be respected? No.

Is it insane to want to be treated like an adult? No.

Is it insane to ask to please stop being treated like a child? No.

Is it insane to ask to please not be criticized? No.

Is it insane to ask to be direct? No.

Is it insane to have one’s own culture and heritage aside from other Caucasian family members? No.

Is it insane not to want to be controlled? No.

Is it insane not to want to have to act Caucasian? No.

Is it insane not to like to do the same social activities as Caucasians? No.

Is it insane to be modern? No.

Is it insane to be modern optimistic? No.

Is it insane to be tired of unnecessary competition? No.

Is it insane to get tired of constantly being reminded one isn’t Caucasian? No.

Is it insane not to give any time to mean-spirited in-laws? No.

Is it insane not to feel inferior? No.

Is it insane to work in the home? No.

Is it insane to feel an equal to Caucasian people? No.

Is it insane not to want to give up one’s own independence? No.

Is it insane to fight for one’s own personal clean record? No.

Is it insane not to have any misdemeanors? No.

Is it insane to “hawk phlegm”? No.

Is it insane to clear the lungs? No.

Is it insane not to make fun of anyone? No.

Is it insane to peacefully let others be? No.

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Postscript about the English Language

~~~

Typos

Ha.

Truly, my favorite thing in the entire world is to catch typos from the White House or this current Administration or T.V. crawl’s or supers or newspaper articles and community websites and I expect typos on blogs.

There’s only one international publication for which doesn’t ever have any English typos or misspellings. Wow.

All good writers require great editors.

Writing is typing out thoughts or ideas or notes or records.

Editing is reading and making corrections to the language.

Grammar is difficult.

English is difficult.

Spelling is a nightmare.

If English isn’t one’s first language then English is a nightmare to contend with especially when one “doesn’t have any accent” then English born speakers expect people without any accent to be at a level of English the same as English born speakers. Impossible standard.

~~~

English is nearly impossible

Most people who speak other languages fluently will tell anybody they would rather speak Somali than English or Spanish than English or French than English or Italian than English or Portuguese than English or Japanese than English or Chinese than English or any other language than English otherwise anything can easily get lost in translation and miscommunication may ensue or not.

Wars are a byproduct of greed and miscommunication.

However, English is blunt and direct of all of the languages therefore English is the easiest for war talks and business talks which any humane attitude will soften dusty discriminations.

Great spelling is something to aim for, however and truly not ever required.

~~~

Ideas are larger than misspelled words

Personally, I’m not able to catch my own misspellings, however. Others’ misspellings I can see a mile away. It’s fun to make corrections to incorrect grammar or misspellings.

It’s fun to laugh at typos.

Personally, I laugh out loud whenever I encounter any misspelled words.

Personally, I do smile whenever I encounter any of my very own misspelled words. What was I thinking? I wasn’t. What I do is I quickly type out thoughts larger than misspelled words.

Misspelled words are easy to fix.

An idea or well written thought is usually awesomely written or not therefore, it’s best to hang on to the ideas and later return to the typos or misspellings.

Some day I look forward to working with a great editor and publisher simply because my misspellings are a pet-peeve of mine. See English is quite difficult to speak well much less write well.

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~~~

Modern Mexican Spanish

Is like modern Mayan Spanish

Neither am I good at Spanish or English or modern Maya.

Modern Mexican Spanish is the prefix and suffix done away with all completely from the beginning or the end of any Spanish words without ever replacing the prefix or suffix with anything else to fill out the center of the words then what’s left over in the center of any words is then compressed into a run-on sentence of words missing the prefix and suffix with only the middle of each words left to interpret and spoken quite fast. Spoken faster than English. It’s hard work to translate. I need a Spanish dictionary.

No, I don’t speak modern Mexican Spanish, however. If I phonetically write down modern Mexican Spanish as I sound it out then I may be able to translate it as well as possible.

Modern Maya Spanish is the prefix and suffix are done away with and all completely from the beginning or the end of any Spanish words with the replacement of Mayan prefix and suffix in front of and after each Spanish words in a sentence with words missing the prefix and the suffix replaced with Maya prefix and suffix with only the middle of each word left to interpret and spoken quite fast.

No, I don’t speak modern Maya Spanish, however. If I phonetically write down modern Maya Spanish as I sound it out then I may be able to translate it at as well as possible. It’s hard work to translate. I need a Spanish dictionary.

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Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count: 2,232

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 1,054 + 2,232 = 3,286

Monday, January 29, 2018

“Beware of the man who has two faces---and two hearts.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Chary (hesitant, cautious, careful)

She was very chary of accepting his gift.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello. Hi.

Upload: 2:21pm CT

Happy Monday!

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~~~

Health

The thyroid gland is at the base of the neck below the “Adam’s Apple.”

For the past eleven years what I give “thanks and praise” for weekly socialization time and building respectful bonds and some close friendships with neighbors even though few neighbors and I have seldom had any problems of any type if at all.

My neighbors tell me I peacefully get along with anybody unless people are in fact physically violent against my body then my neighbors believe I have the right to self protection from any physical violence at all.

For the past eleven years throughout the years most of my neighbors and I have been quite respectful and friendly or attend each other’s social functions or parties or shovel or cut each other’s lawns or go to book clubs or share recipes and share homemade food and mainly always stand in the front yard and hardly ever go inside of each other’s abodes throughout the years and decades of asking each other how we’re doing and how’s our day going.

Throughout the decades we share in hot cups of tea or hot cocoa over conversations and catch up over the day or week then go back to what we’re doing, either write or clean or job hunt or telecommute from home.

~~~

Thank you to the Somali-American Muslims

The Portland, Maine Somali-American Muslims teach me to hold strong friendships and bonds to Muslims even though Muslims know I’m not Muslim.

The Portland, Maine Somali-American Muslims teach me not to be isolated in the world and to hold more bonds then I won’t become vulnerable to emotional or psychological abuse, per se.

The Portland, Maine Somali-American Muslims are my best friends of the past three straight years who live with me and know me to be calm, cool and collected and relaxed and cautious person who loathes conflict.

The Portland, Maine Somali-American Muslims teach me to overlook age and be best friends anyway and laugh at our socio-economic situations therefore we have good laughs together because we’re wise.

~~~

Personally, I enjoy being friends with Muslims since men and women don’t touch unless by modern standards brothers and sisters are considered surrogate family members then perhaps once per year modern Muslim men do warmly shake hands or warmly embrace their sister friends.

The greatest compliment told is by three Somali-American Muslim best friends of the past three years who guarantee me I’m not “insane” since some of my three best friends worked in the field of therapy and have gotten to know me and see me every day year-after-year and tell me I’m of sound mind and spirit.

As of recently by another party I’m implored to consider my sanity and to give in and admit I’m insane and go collect disability.

My best friends laugh out loud and say, “So, what if you’re insane? The accusatory party must also prove the accusatory party isn’t insane and go through therapy together to prove neither party is insane.”

If I’m factually found insane then I’m implored to get on disability as soon as possible and have the state pay me and the other party will be happy.

However, my friends tell me to be strong and stay healthy.

My friends tell me not to stress out about anything.

My friends tell me to build confidence.

My friends tell me it’s all a mind game.

My friends tell me not to ever ask for permission to go to the bathroom.

My friends tell me not to ever ask for permission.

~~~

Fainting

Hypothyroidism

No, I don’t go around fainting.

Yes, since my mid-twenties my dad’s been telling me he thinks something’s wrong with my thyroid and not with my mind.

Yes, since December 10^th, 2017 the two out of the three times I fainted have occurred in front of my best friends who were kind and gracious enough to let me take my time and place my head between my legs and breathe.

The only reason I faint is only when I’m overdressed.

As of now I’m no longer able to wear long johns in the winters and no more than two light layers at a time while outdoors.

My friends reassure me it is okay to get cold while outdoors out and about in the winters since people who live in cold weather do incrementally get frost bite on their exposed skin each time we go outside.

My friends tell me I have a thyroid condition of some type.

My friends tell me to dress in layers.

My friends told me to make a doctor’s appointment and I have.

My friends know for the past four years I’ve been tested for any type of thyroid condition except any type of thyroid condition is difficult to detect.

Having the thyroid be ill is the same as a slow painless death.

A slow quiet death with numb pain at the base of the throat and either slightly chocking on some types of hard foods or seeds or if one breathes the wrong way then one begins to choke and have a coughing fit or neck placement can hurt the throat or drink temperature can impede the thyroid’s temperature gauge or extreme body temperature changes from comfortable body temperature to boiling hot from 0 to 60.

A slow quiet death with fainting when overheated.

A slow quiet death with continuous muscle or bone or nerve pain which doesn’t ever go away and is what “fibromyalgia” must feel like with extreme exhaustion yet people get up each day and go about their full days and work and fix meals.

A slow quiet death of slow metabolism and weight gain.

A low quiet death of dry skin and brittle hair.

A slow quiet death of occasional fog brain.

A slow quiet death of possible depression symptoms.

A slow quiet death of severe cravings for sugar.

No longer have any Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Hooray.

Yes, I must give up American fast food especially food injected with hormones or antibiotics. Sigh.

Yes, I must eat less quantity and more vegetables and fruits.

Yes, the Minnesotans inhale their food.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count: 1,054

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 1,054

Friday, January 26, 2018

“Corrupt ideas are worse than corrupt money.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Charlatan (pretender to knowledge, a quack, imposter)

Dr. Blank was pronounced a charlatan.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello. Hi.

Upload: 6:43pm CT

Happy Friday!

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~~~

Conspiracy Theories

No, I’m not any type of conspiracy theorist.

Yes, I’m a human.

No, I’m not any type of mythology.

Yes, I’ve got a real pumping heart.

No, I don’t see “Shadow People.”

No, I don’t see “Ghosts.”

No, I don’t see “Fairies.”

No, I don’t see “Aliens” (grey or green.)

No, I don’t see “Chubakabras.”

No, I don’t see “Dog Headed Men.”

No, I don’t see “Double Gangers.”

No, I haven’t ever heard or seen any “Big Foot” while out and about for ten years of wilderness courses and twenty years of solo canoe camping outings in the B.W.C.A. and New Hampshire.

(I grew up in an era in which women were taught to survive at least one week in the woods each year for about a decade especially learn how to portage by oneself. It’s not pretty. Even if someone offered me a trillion dollars I wouldn’t ever camp out in a tent much less travel by canoe.) Camping has its charms, however. Not for me.

No, I don’t see “The Grim Ripper.”

No, I don’t see “The Dead.”

No, I don’t see the future.

No, I don’t believe in prophecies.

Yes, I’ve read about many different types of prophecies.

No, I don’t hear any of my Ancient Ancestors’ spirits speak to me.

No, I don’t ever hear voices.

No, I don’t ever see hallucinations.

No, I don’t celebrate “The Day of the Dead.”

Yes, only Mexicans celebrate “The Day of the Dead.”

Yes, only Mexicans have picnics on top of the tombs of their dead ancestors on “The Day of the Dead.”

No, no other Latin American countries have picnics on top of the tombs of our dead ancestors since no other Latin American countries celebrate “The Day of the Dead.”

Yes, I’m dealing with thyroid temperature sensitivity.

Yes, I’m easily overheating.

All I see is what’s in front of me, food to be cooked and life to be lived.

No, I don’t talk to myself.

Yes, if I’m ever heard talking while inside of my abode then it’s only because I’m talking into my cell phone’s recording device and orally taking notes for either blog ideas or writing ideas then one will hear “testing one, two, three. Test. Test. Record.”

Yes, speaking directions to oneself is a higher form of IQ.

~~~

Gravity is…

As of recently, gravity has been brought to my attention.

Personally, I’ve been informed many Americans don’t believe “gravity” exists.

Then we’d be flat as pancakes?

What are we talking about?

Earth calling to outer space.

Outer space, please respond.

Okay.

As of recently, “Alpha, Beta and Omega” have been brought to my attention.

Scientifically, I’ve been informed scientists scientifically have proven away with “Alpha, Beta or Omega” social structures for which don’t exist.

Then each to their own? Yes.

As of now, scientifically it’s been proven there’s no such thing as “Alpha, Beta and Omega.” Okay. Then this does prove each individual’s out for themselves. Yes.

~~~

Ghosts

What about ghosts?

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught there ought not ever be any “ghosts sightings” or “ghosts lingering” about otherwise such ghost souls are lost ghost souls between this place and the next and mostly ghosts are angry to no longer be alive thus such ghost souls go about “bumping in the night” or knocking over objects whenever the living don’t pay any attention to angry ghosts since the dead are dead and must remain with the dead.

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught the spirits of our ancestors watch over us and don’t ever intervene in any of our lives.

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught ghosts or the dead or ancestors’ spirits don’t ever intervene in our daily lives much less ever.

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught there ought not ever be any encounters with any types of spirits or the dead or angry ghosts here on Earth or ancestors’ spirits or otherwise.

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught it’s bad to ever come across any encounters with spirits of any type or the dead or angry ghosts or ancestors’ spirits or otherwise unless one’s about to die.

~~~

Aliens

What about Aliens?

Yes, intellectually aliens do exist since the human race isn’t as irrational as all of it to be arrogant enough to think humans are the only intelligent life force in the entire of all of the solar systems.

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught it’s bad to ever come across any encounters with Aliens because most likely Aliens are carriers of high levels of radiation therefore the Maya are to hypothetically go our own quiet separate ways and not interact with any outer space Aliens if ever seen, per chance, otherwise the government does need to get involved since most average citizens don’t know anything about aliens or what to do about radiation levels yet humans are intellectually taught aliens do exist.

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught I’m of the human species.

If any Aliens roam or live on Earth then I haven’t ever seen any aliens or held any types of encounters unless it’s three or more Aliens otherwise any disguise would be easy to scare humans into believing humans have seen anything humans haven’t seen.

Supposedly, twenty-years ago Aliens stopped kidnapping and probing humans. I don’t know.

Supposedly, humans are a hybrid of Alien form and human form combined. I don’t know.

Supposedly, humans are the Aliens. I don’t know.

Supposedly, humans sprung from Aliens. I don’t know.

Supposedly, Aliens are gods. No.

Supposedly, Aliens were Ancient Gods. I don’t know.

Supposedly, anything which passes any bowel movement isn’t any type of god. Correct.

~~~

Fairies

What about Fairies?

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught Fairies don’t exist in the Mayan mythological storytelling.

Supposedly, Fairies are of European descent.

Supposedly, Fairies are extremely dangerous to humans.

Supposedly, Fairies are a species of super ancient human who are able to hold certain suggestive powers over modern humans. I don’t know.

Supposedly, any type of encounters with Fairies is supposed to be quite negative and could end with a fatality to humans.

Supposedly, Fairies are quite cunning.

Supposedly, Fairies use humans.

Supposedly, fairies are not at all on any level as humans and will manipulate humans to any human’s demise.

Supposedly, Fairies seem to come across as mean creatures since Fairies are extremely selfish.

Supposedly, Fairies don’t care if humans get injured or hurt or die due to Fairy irresponsibility.

Fairies don’t exist in my world.

~~~

Dog Headed Man

What about Dog Headed Man?

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught Dog Headed Man isn’t part of the Mayan mythological storytelling.

Dog Headed Man is of Mexican mythological storytelling.

As a modern Maya I haven’t ever seen a Dog Headed Man, however.

Now, if other humans have ever seen a “Dog Headed Man” or “Big Foot” or “Fairies” or “Spirits” then scientific proof is required.

Now, I believe other people have indeed seen all aspects of variety of humanoid looking figures and only others know what they’ve seen, however. The eyes play tricks on the memory.

~~~

Big Foot

What about Big Foot?

As a modern Maya I’ve been taught anything outside of the realm of human species may exist, however, Maya don’t ever go out of their way to go look for such creatures or beings since such creatures or beings are physically much stronger than humans and may have the potential to kill any humans therefore humans stay away from the woods, especially caves.

As a modern Maya not once and not ever have I either smelled or seen or heard a “Big Foot” after one complete decade of outdoor photography not once have I ever run into much wildlife since wildlife tends to keep away from most humans unless humans feed wildlife which humans ought to not ever feed any type of wildlife unless or except for when.

Okay, according to foot prints and foot casts and hair samples supposedly “Big Foot” exists. Okay, however, I haven’t ever heard or seen or smelled a “Big Foot” or seen public records.

~~~

Shadow People

What about Shadow People?

As a modern scientific reader I’ve been scientifically taught many of the sightings of “Shadow People” are either the eye playing tricks on the person or hallucinations.

By modern standards “Shadow People” sightings is mainly the eye playing tricks on the individual since it’s easy for human eyes to trick us into seeing shadows and mostly the brain always reverts to seeing humanoid figures in the likes of our species.

Personally, I haven’t seen any type of Shadow Person in my entire life.

~~~

Multiple Dimensions

What about multiple dimensions?

Supposedly, there’re multiple dimensions.

Intellectually, I’ve been taught to believe in multiple dimensions, however. I haven’t ever travelled to any other multiple dimensions.

Recently, I’ve begun to read blogs about death and the afterlife and about how death is explained as another multiple dimension exactly like the times and era we live in now. How disappointing.

As a modern American I’ve been taught life after death is eternal sleep and darkness. Thank goodness. I look forward to it when I’m old and dead. A rest from long life.

Supposedly, multiple dimension life after death is more work and a paycheck. I hope not.

~~~

Chubakabra

What about Chubakabras?

Again, I’d have to look up Chubakabras.

Personally, I haven’t ever seen a floating witch.

~~~

Floating Witches

What about floating witches?

Personally, I haven’t ever seen a floating witch.

Personally, I’ve been taught not to believe in witches.

Plum Island

What about Plum Island?

Personally, I’ve been taught to not ever wander off alone in Plum Island.

Plum Island is known for the inter-breeding of different species of animals. I don’t know.

No, I haven’t ever come across different inter-breeding of different species of animals.

However, mutations I’ve come across in museums such as any species with two heads. I walked away as quickly as possible.

~~~

Facts are Proof anything Exists

Mainly, I’m someone who hasn’t ever seen much of anything other than living humans -- this doesn’t mean I don’t believe other people have or haven’t experienced extraordinary events in their lives.

At the age of forty, I’m only grateful not to have had any encounters with extra terrestrial life form or floating witches or fairies or any otherwise.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count: 1,680

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 1,494 + 1,886 = 3,380 + 1,774 = 5,154

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Today, I was out with a sore throat. Wow.

This sore throat took me out for the day. I slept the entire day.

Gabriel

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

“When you’re hungry sing; when you’re hurt laugh.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Chauvinistic (excessively patriotic, waving the flag with indiscretion)

The bold rally was marched by a chauvinistic display.

--- --- ---

Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello. Hi.

Upload: 12:52pm CT, 5:15pm CT

Happy Wednesday!

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Nope, writing isn’t real life.

Writing is records from subjective points of view.

A Caste System?

Okay, yes, I utilized the word “Hick.” I had to go look up the word “Hick.” Then I had to go and ask if “Hick” meant a “woods-person?” People informed me “Hick” means a “swamp person.” Thank you. What’s a “Redneck?” I don’t exactly know. I’ll research it.

No, not once and not ever do I make the usage of the word “Hick” or “Redneck” in modern day usage of the language spoken out loud much less the “N” word or the any other derogatory word.

As of recently I’m informed I’m all too formal and must trust myself.

Personally, I like to record sentiments and discriminations of the times we live in along with difficult racial injustices such as public murders captured on citizens’ cameras for the entire world to witness police murders on the streets of America. Sigh. Not because I say so, because it is so as a culture of police brutality. It’s in the news. Please, go look it up.

--- --- ---

Professionally I was informed the artist known as “Prince” was destitute. I’ll research it. I don’t know. I don’t care.

--- --- ---

Yes, I love flowers, however. Great Depression Generation of Costa Rican culture taught me not to ever cut any flowers. Humans don’t own nature. Okay. I don’t know.

Since we live in modern era America then flower farms aren’t wild or natural and an industry. Have fun!

--- --- ---

Yes, who doesn’t love diamonds? However, mainly African children mine diamonds and I can’t bring myself to wear “blood diamonds.” Sorry.

--- --- ---

Yes, I absolutely gave up wearing jewelry in 2014 and decided to work with my body on balance and to less disturb the spinal cord therefore I no longer place a wallet in any of my back pockets.

--- --- ---

Yes, I refuse to drink “blood coffee” mainly harvested in farms which may not be “fair trade” certified.

--- --- ---

Yes, I’m making usage of modern English.

--- --- ---

Yes, journals aren’t here to make anyone feel good or bad or anyway. Journals are records of the times we live in.

--- --- ---

Peace.

--- --- ---

We’re celebrating golden birthdays with the Somali-American Muslims who now consider me their surrogate family member. Happy Birthday.

--- --- ---

~~~

A Police State is Wrong

(Yes, some of my best-friends are police)

Not because I say so.

General Sentimentalities

Of modern Americans of Color.

The Caste System.

Remember police officers or cops are in the same occupational category as teachers and nurses and get paid about thirty-thousand dollars per annual salary.

Remember police officers and teachers and nurses are low-ranking professionals simply because such jobs are the jobs nobody wants therefore the people who do such jobs are people who are either inspired or have a calling to such horrific positions or such people are people who are forced to become low-ranking professionals simply because they lack the grades or funds or intellect to further education or the opportunities to do something else other than the grueling work to clean up urine and feces and blood or spend their days with snot-nosed children or deal with serious aspects of life such as real crime such as rape and murder which nobody in their right mind ever wants to deal with either rape or murder even in the aftermath.

Remember one is either mainly poor or uneducated or a little bit off in the brain or without options to go into nursing or teaching or police work since all three jobs deal with bodily functions and to deal with bodily function is work one does when one has nothing else except low-reaching branch jobs.

Remember police and nurses and teachers hold no power in society or culture since police and nurses and teachers are usually followers and not thinkers or leaders therefore by in large such positions aren’t respected and in general people find such occupations weird and the people who do them even creepier.

Remember police and nurses and teachers are usually people who don’t want to be respectable baristas yet desire for some type of professional control over others therefore most people in their right mind don’t wish to be any of the three occupations mentioned above unless one is poor or unsophisticated or uneducated and not fit to do other types of more intelligent occupations other than to round up people and force them to learn their ABC’s or force people to aim into bedpans or force people into submission through brute force.

Remember police and nurses and teachers aren’t quantum physicists and don’t know any better than anyone else.

Remember police and nurses and teachers are less qualified workers and are mainly to assist society rather than run culture or business.

Remember most police officers can’t afford their mortgages.

Remember most police officers make the same amount of wages as respectable baristas who are in an invaluable service such as to manage food and drink.

Remember most police officers can barely afford the cost of living and are as marginalized as any other low income earning workers therefore as angry and frustrated as anyone else in the same boat.

Remember police officers and nurses and teachers are low-ranking professionals mainly because police don’t have much training or critical thinking skills or ethics training or psychological skills beyond the age of eighteen.

Remember most people stop reasoning or intellectually developing beyond the age of eighteen therefore most police or nurses or teachers are only qualified to be slave handlers and not slave owners.

Remember the history of police officers is to round up slaves and bring the slaves back to the plantations to get whipped or raped or murdered.

Remember history repeats itself.

Remember police don’t have any power other than what the taxpayers grant police officers which there ought not to be any power granted to police other than to deal with the aftermath of real crime such as rape and murder.

Remember mostly police officers are people who failed at other means of profession therefore they went into the police academies for lack of ability to accomplish other more intellectually rigorous endeavors such as running their own companies or businesses or being doctors or lawyers or judges.

Remember most police officers aren’t intellectually equipped to keep copious notes much less write a full paragraph or full page reports.

How do I know? I’ve read about eight hundred police written reports and if one doesn’t write well then one doesn’t reason well much less logically and most police officers can barely stitch one well constructively written sentence therefore their lack of intelligence shows all over their written words. The reason why police don’t keep great written records or notes is because they lack the ability to think beyond brutality and their brute nature shows all over their writing.

Remember most police officers have High School diplomas and six months of police academy and not much else to go on therefore police officers see themselves as special when mostly police are average intelligence without any critical thinking bragging rights.

Remember most police officers haven’t ever gone to a private or public four year college or university therefore most police officers wheel power through racism and brute and sheer force rather than logic and reason.

~~~

Remember the psychological research has come out in which most police officers are terrified to go into seemingly dangerous situations therefore most police officers deal with important and drastic situations from a place of fear and adrenaline and high levels of testosterone rather than logic or reason.

Remember most police officers are scared and frightened people.

Remember police officers are literally frightened workers therefore they’re bound to make a thousand more mistakes than any other workers in other fields.

Remember police officers must be some type of control freaks since they have very little power elsewhere in culture or society since they’re regular people like the rest of us and only special to their mothers.

Remember police officers take physical liberties with people because they believe no one will ever catch them being unprofessional or unreasonable or out of line or dangerous or criminal.

Remember most police officers are considered a joke because all police officers do is round up slaves and incarcerate people of color for minor offenses rather than deal with real crime such as rape and murder.

Remember most Caucasian police officers aren’t humane to women or people of color therefore police misconstrue service with arrogant make-believe power which the law is power not brute force or fear or covered up criminal acts behind any uniform.

Remember most police officers seem to think they have the right to mishandle citizens and to murder people because they’re ignorantly arrogant and frightened little children with personal egotistical issues.

Remember most police officers aren’t doctors of any variety.

Remember most police officers are people who decided to serve and protect their communities rather than enslave or incarcerate large numbers of people of color yet most police officers must get off on the power to submit others into a powerless state because police officers have to meet monthly quotas and show very poor communications skills.

Remember most police officers hold no power other than make--believe power.

Remember most police officers are behind the times and can barely keep up with cyber crime or real crime such as rape and murder and sex-trafficking.

Remember most police officers aren’t liked people even by their peers since they have a sense of superiority and physical brute force and a criminal make-up to them.

Remember police officers have higher statistics for domestic violence.

Remember not to ever trust police since they’re mainly teenagers who didn’t ever mature or develop beyond the age of eighteen.

~~~

Remember police officers are known for groping and sexually assaulting female victims.

Remember police officers aren’t necessarily needed in society to run a productive and well constructed culture.

Remember each individual city/state can do away with police officers at any time and it’s not a bad idea to have citizens run themselves rather than have the police be involved other than with real crime such as rape and murder.

Remember police officers aren’t ever to be trusted since mostly police officers are “Hicks” or racists or backwoods and into the mentality of slavery and control rather than freedom.

Remember one isn’t required to approach police even if the police demand someone talks to them yet it’s best to deal with police officers since we live in an era of enslavement and plantations and slave owners. It’s best to deescalate any situation since police officers don’t know how to.

Remember police treat citizens as though the police were slave owners and murder our people in the streets like runaway slaves.

Remember police is as much pedophiles and rapists and murderers as any other criminal.

Remember police are people who couldn’t get ahead in life therefore they became police.

Remember there’s a war on police crime.

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count: 1,886

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 1,494 + 1,886 = 3,380

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

“Wisdom begets humility.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Propinquity (nearness or relationship, kindship)

Their relationship was not approved because of close propinquity.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello. Hi.

Upload: 2:02pm CT

Happy Tuesday!

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Blog Notes:

In an era in which independent blogs and writers’ colonies are being shutdown primarily due to finances or lack thereof the one aspect for which must be made clear is this: this blog has not once seen much less received one single penny for any of its practice work.

This blog has been financed by me.

In the past this blog had promissory investors yet not once and not ever has this blog been financed by anyone other than a small team of people who’ve dedicated their time and effort to the achievement of creative writing and independent thought.

Up to this point mostly anything has been done “out of pocket” in hopes to collect a sum of money from former investors after the work was supposed to be completed.

There’re no investors here now. All of the investors have been paid off. There’s no investor debt. Now, there’re profits which remains yet to be seen from all of this practice writing no matter what the subject matter.

~~~

This writing belongs to me.

This is the work and effort of one human.

People tell me the reason why none of my work makes any money is because there’s a lack of marketing.

People tell me the reason why none of my documentaries ever made any money is because there was a lack of marketing.

People tell me I have a developed talent which is writing and I’m lucky to be a writer because at any point I might get an agent who will pay me to write and I’m always steps closer than most other people to have the ability to make a fortune.

People tell me I ought to get an agent and have a good agent pay me to write. Intellectually I know the steps to how to get an agent, however. I don’t know how to get an agent for myself in the same manner in which I don’t know how to make money for myself yet I know how to make money for others.

People tell me I belong writing a weekly newspaper column.

~~~

Yes, throughout the past eleven years I’ve known what it’s like to do contract work and get paid anywhere in the upwards of fifty-thousand, however.

Anytime, anyone makes anymore than ten-thousand dollars then one must cut the paycheck in half and half goes towards taxes and the rest of the money goes towards bills and debt and house projects which aren’t cheap.

Yes, there’ve been lump sums of money, however. Money goes fast. Not once have I kept the payout and gone on a five-thousand dollar shopping spree or bought a new car for myself.

Much of what has been done with the money has been donated or gifted to families less fortunate and in need of help with rent and bills which people have informed me they don’t want their bills paid they want jobs.

~~~

What is Boring?

Boring is uninteresting, tedious, dull, dreary, mind-numbing, tiresome, lackluster, unexciting, monotonous, repetitive, wearisome, humdrum, uninspiring.

People tell me I’m anything except boring.

People tell me I’m interesting and have lived an interesting life.

Personally, I find people interesting.

Does three hours of shoveling make me boring? No.

Does washing dishes each day make me boring? No.

Does reading articles make me boring? No.

Does drinking water each day make me boring? No.

Does talking to neighbors make me boring? No.

Does keeping quiet make me boring? No.

Does being a home-body make me boring? No.

Does a lack of finances make me boring? No.

Does being inspired to write make me boring? No.

Does getting older make me boring? No.

Does the scar tissue on my stomach make me boring? No.

Does my short hair cut make me boring? No.

Do some of my acne scars make me boring? No.

Do my thyroid tumors make me boring? No.

Does playing it safe with finances make me boring? No.

Does reason make me boring? No.

Does drinking tea with the neighbors make me boring? No.

Does looking for work make me boring? No.

Does my interest in culture and media make me boring? No.

Does writing a blog make me boring? No.

Does caring make me boring? No.

Does being passionate about subject matter make me boring? No.

Does having dry skin in the winter make me boring? No.

Does my age make me boring? No.

Does my skin color make me boring? No.

Does my gender make me boring? No.

~~~

No, I’m not bored.

No, I’m not lonely.

No, loneliness isn’t something I’m plagued with.

No, boredom isn’t something I’m plagued with.

No, insecurity isn’t something I’m plagued with.

No, sadness isn’t something I’m plagued with.

No, fear isn’t something I’m plagued with.

There’s always something to look forward to in the day.

There’s always something interesting to learn about.

There’s always something interesting to read.

There’s always something interesting.

In the mornings I jump out of bed with a spring in my step.

No matter how badly miscommunication has spun out of control I’ve always looked forward to setting things straight and look for a silver lining.

Personally, I don’t like any melodrama unless it’s up on a stage or in films or movies or television.

Personally, I don’t get caught up in competition.

Personally, I treat others with respect.

Personally, to a fault I go out of my way to be kind to others.

No, I’m not “nice.” I’m kind and Americans consider kindness a weakness therefore I do put on a tough exterior and a tough outer shell therefore no one will boil me and eat me for supper.

Personally, I give thanks and praise each day for being alive and having what I have.

Personally, I’m grateful to be alive.

Personally, I’m grateful to have my freedom.

Personally, I’m grateful to have made it to forty without too many unreasonable difficulties.

Personally, I’m grateful to be as intelligent as I am even though I’m not considered an intellectual.

Personally, I’m grateful to be alive in the times in which we live in although it’s Caucasians who make up the rules and hold most of the power and money.

Personally, I’m grateful not to be famous.

Personally, I’m grateful not to be “infamous” since I’m neither any type of bank robber nor do I ever make headlines.

Personally, I’m grateful only twelve Minnesotans read this blog.

Personally, I’m grateful no one of any consequence reads this blog thus I’m not too harshly judged.

Personally, I’m grateful to be content with life.

Personally, I’m grateful to be me.

Personally, I’m grateful to be mindful.

Personally, I’m grateful to be a woman of color even though in 2017 I found out I hold absolutely very little power amongst Caucasians.

Personally, I’m grateful to be a writer of contemporary times.

Personally, I’m grateful not to ever run out of sound ideas.

Personally, I’m grateful to be an independent spirit even though my spirit has now been broken even though I’m not a horse.

Personally, as a woman of color I’m grateful I now know what it’s like to be completely controlled and not to ever again raise my voice no matter how little I get heard when I tell my truth and say, “No, thank you.”

Personally, I’m now the broken spirit of a horse therefore I walk on egg shells and am getting over being terrified of a police state and modern pharmaceutical psychiatry and scary Caucasian people and physically violent black people.

Personally, I’m grateful I don’t live with uterine tumors therefore I’m no longer in pain and crabby or ready to pick verbal fights with physical violence since most of my character is a quiet one and terrified of being murdered or killed by out-of-control cops or creepy pharmaceuticals yet I control my fears and don’t let my fears get the better of me.

Personally, I’m grateful not to be detained since I’m a woman of color and for the most part skittish of any type of violence which mostly violence has to be addressed except I’ve now learned to walk away from violence, however. One must not ever walk away from cops because cops hold unjustifiable amount of unnecessary power and can make wrong decisions at anytime.

Personally, I’m glad to be getting over the fear of living in Minnesota and in the United States.

Personally, I’m grateful not to run away from my life.

Personally, I don’t think about moving to Costa Rica since the real power and independence is here in America and quietly must be taken back from a control state of mind.

Personally, I’m grateful not to be a control freak.

Personally, I’m grateful not to submit others to my power.

Personally, I’m glad I’m not greedy.

Word Count: 1,494

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 1,494

Thursday, January 18, 2018

“The world goes on because of those who close their lips when they meet hostility from others.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Propitiated (conciliated, appeased, rendered favorable)

The ancients propitiated the gods with human sacrifice.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello. Hi.

Upload: 2:48pm CT

Happy Thursday!

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~~~

It’s Modern to Write

And over Share

Especially over Social Media

And other online Mass Media

Yes, over social media women write about spousal verbal fights and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about their sexual preferences and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about their custody battles and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about their divorces and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about their marriages and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about all types of personal illnesses and such with photographs attached and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about their personal surgical operations with photos attached and peer commentary attached.

Yes, over social media women write about sexual harassment and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about sexual assault and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about how many times women have sex and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about women’s favorite sexual positions and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about their menstruations and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about their genitalia and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about breast feeding and peer comments attached.

Yes, over social media women write about pregnancy and peer comments attached.

Yes, modern times dictate women write and over share, however much or little.

The modern culture of women is one of online over sharing since social media is relatively new and women tend to communicate as in “cave times” by putting time into writing and over sharing inside the safety of their warm glow of social media accounts with photos attached and peer commentary attached about women’s daily lives as life unfolds, good or bad.

~~~

Over sharing is…

No, I don’t write about enemies

I write about what I’m most passionate about

Television is like “cave men’s” fire. (Simile.)

Social media is like “cave times.” (Not even the president knows when to stop over sharing over Twitter.)

Blogs are informational stories with a beginning, middle and end to learn how not to make the same mistakes ever again.

Writing is reflection to become wise.

Blogs are journals from the first person narrative and hopefully without personal photos in the hospital or peer comments since some surgeries are personal in nature and don’t require peer commentary.

Personally, I don’t think I over share in the same way social media does with personal photos or peer comments therefore I shan’t ever again write about our marriage.

~~~

People don’t write out of cruelty

People write to record

People write to better get to know themselves

And the world around

People write with their critical thinking caps

And recollect to the best of their ability

Personally, in my defense I haven’t ever and not once shared what sexual positions we preferred since it’s nobody’s business.

Personally, in my defense I haven’t ever described our nude bodies. No, not once.

Personally, in my defense I haven’t ever blamed others for processing through life’s difficult events.

Personally, in my defense I genuinely write to learn wisdom.

Personally, in my defense I prolifically write with noteworthy and difficult lessons to learn how to be a better human and how to overcome adversity or difficulties in miscommunication without judging others for more room to grow.

Personally, in my defense I don’t see our marriage as something vicious to write about. No.

Personally, in my defense as of today my partner was my “muse.”

Personally, in my defense I write with the intent to learn and move forward and leave personal records behind to better understand the complexities of relationships well into the second decade of the twenty-first century.

Feasibly at anytime anyone can choose to get any social media account and write personally although I think writing a personal blog on social media would definitely be awkward and weird and strange to get peer comments back about one’s own personal life and photographs.

From now on we’ll write about socks and the weather and news and whatever else.

Let the record show: I write without malice only the intent to learn to grow and mature and change into a better person. Always. Reflect. However, live in the present. The past is gone and we don’t ever know what the future holds.

Let the record show: Yes, my married partner is an amazing human like any other human with more room for growth like myself.

Truly Yours,

Gabriel

Post Script:

--- --- ---

What is there for me to say about DACA? Nothing.

2018 Congressional policy: Grant citizenship to any American-born immigrant within the last 100 years who happened to be born upon American soil and their immigrant parents and immigrant family members such as siblings because it’s the humane and smart thing to do for modern America.

Still immigrants are choosing not to come to the United States.

--- --- ---

No, I don’t personally hold any bad feelings or negative emotions towards Mexicans or Mexican-Americans not even some social misconduct. I can overlook social misconduct. I can get over social misconduct since humans aren’t perfect.

In my twenty year social advocacy I’ve stood for the “Berlin Wall II” to come down between the borders of Mexico and the United States.

In my twenty year social advocacy I’ve stood for more trading between both Mexico and the United States without losing the character and appeal for the authentic Mexican culture.

The Mexicans are our neighbors and must be treated well with respect.

--- --- ---

What is there for me to say about DACA? Nothing.

Okay this: Immigrants are the historical back bone of America.

From the very little I know for which I’ve been legally taught: Any born American upon American soil is automatically an American citizen.

Furthermore, at the age of twenty-one years of life any born American citizen upon American soil is able and eligible to grant citizenship to their foreign national born parents. Yes.

(Yes, the above spacing is correct.)

--- --- ---

There’s no reason whatsoever to deport our respectful American neighbors and friends and colleagues with distinct accents.

No, I don’t personally hold any bad feelings or negative emotions towards any African nations or anyone else for such matters otherwise life gets too stressful and stress causes illness in the body.

No, Americans in general don’t hold any bad feelings or negative emotions against other nations or anyone else for such matters otherwise life gets too stressful and stress causes illness in the body.

Middle Income Earning American families do the best to provide for their lot in life with the rise in cost of living and low paying wages for the year 2018.

Americans respect other sovereign nations even if presidents don’t respect or different White House Administrations disrespect other sovereign nations.

If anything, here in the United States of America, Americans deal and contend with lack of trust between races and racial divides which is unimportant to be against humans as a species when pigmentation is a moot point.

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Word Count: 1,231

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 3,438 + 1,394 = 4,832 + 1,231 = 6,063

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

“Hostility is like the plank of a bridge: the longer it endures, the firmer it becomes.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Transient (passing, short -lived, not settled)

The transient population of the city was large.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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No, I’m not a liar. No, I don’t go around telling lies.

Yes, the best policy is to always tell the truth.

No, I’m not a thief.

No, I haven’t ever stolen anything from any store because as luck would have it I would get extremely nervous and get caught. I only shop with the money I have or I don’t shop at all.

Yes, I window shop for ideas.

Americans tend to believe it is best not to talk about anything and omit information unless directly asked. If others don’t know what questions to ask then nothing gets said and the truth lingers somewhere out there in nether space.

Yes, the few and selfdom times I’ve told any type of lies the reason why I did it was to help out the reputation of others.

Once I told a lie to do psychological warfare with the physically violent neighbors in summer 2016. It’s all over now.

The neighbors and I are peaceful. We go our separate ways even when we run into each other at the grocery store.

No, I’m not a ninja.

No, I don’t know how to break into other people’s houses.

No, I haven’t ever broken into anyone else’s home.

No, I don’t go to people’s houses and re-arrange their dishes or cookware while they sleep.

Goodness, I would probably begin to cry if I ever broke into anyone’s home.

Yes, the only times I’ve ever peacefully gone into other people’s houses is when I’ve been invited.

No, I don’t have any special powers.

No, I’m not a super hero.

My special power would probably be eating pastries or baked goods.

No, I don’t go around urinating outdoors.

Yes, it’s been Minnesota Caucasian women who have told me and taught me about urinating outdoors when one goes camping to keep wild wolves and moose away. No, I haven’t actually done it.

Yes, it’s been American Caucasian women who have told me and taught me about menstruating outdoors when one goes to do research to attract something known as “big foot.” No, I haven’t actually done it.

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Happiness

Personally, I’ve been informed “happiness” is keeping what one already has.

What is happiness?

Since happiness isn’t something we measure exactly or see or touch or concretely place or define then what is happiness?

Personally, I’ve been taught happiness is contentment (satisfaction, pleasure, gratification, ease.)

Yes, I’m happy which happiness is subjective.

Throughout my life most garbage cans filled with smells of onion makes me unhappy therefore I make an unhappy face and take the garbage bag directly to the outdoor’s waste bin and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life bumping into furniture has made me unhappy and I’ve winced therefore I’ve rearranged furniture out of the way even if the furniture doesn’t look aesthetically pleasing and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life getting a sliver has made me unhappy and I’ve made an unhappy face therefore I’ve gone in search of a sterile needle and driven the sliver out and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life while pumping gas and by mistake I’ve gotten gas on my clothes or winter gloves has made me unhappy and I’ve made an unhappy face therefore I’ve gone and washed my hands and clothes and changed and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life while chocking on small pieces of nuts I have become rather unhappy and harshly coughed and spit out the pieces lodged in my throat and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life watching large amounts of television has made me unhappy and at times I have fallen asleep in front of the television with a content look on my face and happy to be there therefore I’ve gone to bed and read and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life I’ve disliked getting soap in my eyes and the soap in my eyes has made me unhappy and I’ve made an unhappy face therefore I’ve gone and washed out the soap and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life I haven’t liked it when I’ve gained some holiday weight and haven’t been able to fit into my clothes therefore I’ve become rather unhappy and made many unhappy faces into the mirror then I’ve bought pants a size up until I can fit back into my regular size and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life I haven’t liked being told how to spend my free time because “all work and no play” makes any person dull and I’ve been unhappy therefore I’ve made an unhappy face while being told I have to go someplace I might not be comfortable yet obligated to show up and make an appearance therefore I’ve stayed home and relaxed whenever there’s been down time since most of life is mainly work and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life and by mistake whenever I’ve come across pornography then I’ve become rather unhappy and made a quiet shrieking sound to see others’ genitals therefore I’ve changed the channel and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life I haven’t liked being personally sworn at because personally being sworn at makes me unhappy then I’ve made an unhappy face therefore I’ve left the room and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life the pressure to socially perform has made me unhappy therefore I’ve refused to socially perform and kept quiet and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life the pressure to constantly and continuously clean up after others without pay has made me unhappy and I’ve made many unhappy faces therefore I’ve learned to do the minimal effort without exerting myself to an exhaustive place and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life sweets have given me a great deal of pain in some of my teeth and become unhappy therefore I’ve gone years without sugar or sweets and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life ice in cold water has made my teeth hurt and I’ve become unhappy therefore I stopped placing ice cubes into my water and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life the few and seldom times I haven’t liked being intoxicated and I’ve been quite unhappy being intoxicated therefore I don’t drink much beer or alcohol since more than one alcoholic drink per day increases the chances of cancer in both men and women therefore I seldom drink much less get drunk and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life I’ve stubbed my toe on the bedposts and have become rather unhappy and made many unhappy faces therefore I’ve placed socks on the bedposts therefore my toes won’t hurt and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life I’ve had three teeth chip and this made me rather unhappy and I’ve made many unhappy faces therefore I went to the dentist and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life Caucasian people have talked about subject matter which isn’t proper to speak about with other people of color therefore I’ve become rather unhappy about how different racial groups openly talk about menstruation while it’s not kosher to talk about menstruation with anyone yet Caucasians do therefore I’ve learned to stay away from certain subject matter all together and all completely and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life I’ve learned different social rules apply to different racial groups and it’s made me unhappy therefore I must learn to speak to certain groups a certain way and others another way and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout my life racial struggle is real and it’s made me unhappy and I’ve made many unhappy faces therefore I’ve learned to write rather than to talk about racism and overall I’m not unhappy with life.

Throughout life many of the mentioned above have continuously occurred and none of it means I’m overall unhappy with life.

Happiness is the perspective to overcome big obstacles and not sweat the small stuff.

Truly Yours,

Gabriel

Word Count: 1,394

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 2,086 + 1,317 = 3,438 + 1,394 = 4,832

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

“In time, hostility becomes hate.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Tenet (a belief, doctrine, dogma)

The listener held fast to every tenet of his faith despite the hardships imposed upon him.

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Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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No, I haven’t literally or physically choreographed modern ballet since August 2017.

Yes, I now write-down dance steps.

Yes, I’m a terrible dancer. I resign to the fact I’m a bad dancer.

Yes, I can’t help to choreograph modern ballet “in my mind’s eye” since I did at one point take nine years of ballet and modern dance from professors and masters with doctorates in ballet.

No, I’m not a modern dancer.

No, I don’t ever want to dance up on stage.

No, I’m not a ballet dancer.

No, I’m not a choreographer.

Simply, bits and pieces of choreography inspire me even though I’m more like a human pretzel with two left feet than a dancer.

Whenever I’ve been presented with a space large enough to move in then I’ve tried out different choreography moves and launched myself off of walls with my hands to see if I could do it then other dancers could do ten times better than I could with the steps called for in the complexity of the choreography.

Yes, the piece of modern ballet choreography I’m writing is done for no other reason than this composition came to me as a whole and complete piece about ballerinas and track-and-field apparatuses and a combination of running and dance.

Of course, my choreography as with my animation is crude and unrefined and terrible yet some of the ideas aren’t bad.

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Cultural Literary Notes:

Personally, as of recently I’ve been informed I’m not “shallow” even though I’ve described myself as “shallow.” English as a Second Language. I’ve been informed I’m quite empathetic. I can truly see life from other people’s perspectives. Not because I say, because others tell me.

Personally, as of recently I’ve been informed I’m, too, nice. I must learn to be less kind and more selfish and confident and not be scared or afraid of anyone or anything.

Personally, I’ve been informed I make a terrible liar and must learn not to ever tell the truth unless people ask for advice and even then it’s best policy to not ever tell the truth therefore its best not to ask for advice except from close or personal friends and even then it’s best not to ask for advice at all and make up one’s own mind about one’s own life and life choices and decisions.

Personally, I’ve been taught its best not to ever talk badly about one’s spouse to other personal close friends or family members otherwise the spouse badly talked about gets mistreated outside of the marriage by others who aren’t in the marriage.

The only reason why the badly talked about spouse gets treated badly is when the other spouse directly speaks badly about their spouse to others. Not because I say, because others tell me.

A marriage is between two people only until the laws change and most likely polygamy may someday be the standard. Most likely not, however.

Anything is fodder for subject matter to write about.

No names mentioned then there’s nothing to worry about.

Freedom of speech is free.

Freedom of speech is the right to say or write or express anything from one’s own point of view without the penalty of contempt or chastisement or belittlement or degradation or censorship.

A journal is to record the vitally important and complex intricacies of humanity especially the one’s least talked about when it comes to imbalance of power in relationships.

Some day we’ll be old and eventually dead and the only thing for which will matter is the records we leave behind about how we best lived out our lives and did well by others especially the people whom we love most are the people we treat badly according to American culture.

The most difficult subject matter to write about is about one’s own life because it’s personal.

It’s difficult to get the courage to write about one’s own personal life for the benefit of others who will come down the road in the long distant future.

Any subject matter can be written about mainly to record something important and of substance in relationship to love.

Love is hate.

Hate is love.

Writing is about recording truth rather than lies.

Writing is after the fact.

Writing is after the events.

Writing is after action has taken place.

Writing is done when people write about what they know best.

“Write what you know.”

What else is there to do other than to write about what one knows?

Otherwise journals would be fantasy rather than stories told or statements made or actions recorded down on record from life.

Personally, I find journaling extremely difficult to do since most Americans don’t seem to make the clear distinction or tell the difference between life and art or life and television.

Writing isn’t only one perspective.

There’re multiple of perspectives to one subject matter.

In other words: one subject matter can be written about in multiple of infinite ways and none would be wrong.

Memory is after the fact.

Memories are thoughts about past events.

From what I’ve been taught: No one sees any one event in the same way or manner or form as any other witness.

1,000 people can all observe and see and go through the same event and perceive it totally and completely differently than any other person present.

There’s no reality about perception except what individuals may witness or observes or hears or knows to be any of many different ways otherwise there’s no one way or manner of truth only perspective.

In other words there’s no right or wrong to how to recount events in subject matter as to how events happened or how events occurred and were observed as long as the witness recounts as closely as they understood the events to unfold and words precisely conveyed.

Personally, I don’t write this because I need permission to write. No.

Mainly, I write this because these are the rules I was taught in literary workshops otherwise if one becomes afraid of censorship of any type then we move backwards and not forward with decency and respect and calm approach to storytelling.

If one takes anything personally then one takes it personally and it’s up to the individual to sort themselves out.

If anyone ever made me their muse and wrote “the good, the bad and the ugly” I would be absolutely tickled pink to go down in the history books without making any effort or take the time to actually have to do the work to write.

Yes, anybody can write, however.

Not anyone can write well.

Much less can anyone write for the larger picture between the three spans of time: past which no longer exists, present for which is and future for which is still yet to become the past.

No, I’m not my writings.

No, I’m not my former documentary films.

No, I’m not my photographs.

No, I’m not made up of words. I’m made up of flesh and bone.

These words will stand still while far more complex life will move on and forward and eventually become something all together different in shape and form and size other than letters.

No, I’m not unhappy with life and people in it.

Yes, I’ve been scared and afraid for my physical freedom.

As of yesterday, I was informed words are only words and most threats aren’t real and there’s no reason to be scared or afraid about anything or anyone since I hold a free will and power to be human. Okay.

No, I don’t write out of malice.

Yes, I write to better understand life after the fact.

Yes, I write and dance as though no one’s watching.

Truly Yours,

Gabriel

Word Count: 1,319

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 2,119 + 1,319 = 3,438

Monday, January 15, 2018

“Never try to pacify a man at the height of his hostility.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Improvised (provided offhand, made up without great preparation)

He sat at the piano and improvised some pleasing melodies.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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Writing

About

Marriage

an important

freedom of speech

A journal isn’t a sitcom

A journal is from the first person narrative

Personally, I write about marriage, good or bad, since I believe women hold very little power in relationship to men.

Over online journals and blog entries women must make it known women are physically the lesser between the two sexes yet not intellectually or creatively different from men.

Social media is for sharing pictures and respectfully stating modern social commentary about the world in general to sharing about current events.

Any woman can be as smart as any man.

Any woman can be as intelligent as any man.

Personally, I’m not a “jerk” since I don’t make up the rules and tax the life out of the serfs.

No, I’ve not ever written here with the intention to tell anyone how to live their lives. I’ve stated since 2010 each day I must figure out my own life and others must figure out their own lives.

No, I don’t need or want anyone to follow any of my commands since I’ve not made any commands to think like me or be like me or act like me. No.

No, I don’t think I’m high and mighty.

Yes, it’s okay to interrupt me at anytime.

Yes, it’s okay to disagree with my opinion.

No, it’s not okay to tell me how to spend my free time and where and with whom.

Personally, I don’t sell anything here in this blog space therefore the literary writings are of vitally important content and context which Americans tell me most media is greed and marketing and advertisement lies. Yep. Yes. Ha.

Commercials are my favorite short films.

Men hold all of the money, power and control and resources.

Most men make all of the decisions whether men are agreed with or not.

The imbalance of power is ridiculous for 2018.

Why do relationships have to be mainly about one spouse in general making all of the decisions?

How do couples in general hardly ever get to a point in which couples are able to compromise on lifestyle?

If all one spouse in general wants to do is watch television per se as an example and the other spouse doesn’t then why is the other spouse who doesn’t want to spend their entire free time watching television penalized like it’s a character flaw?

If one spouse in general doesn’t want to go to Disney World to vacation there per se as an example because Disney World is the place where one spouse had a miscarriage then why is one spouse penalized like it’s a character flaw?

Competition is for sports.

If one spouse in general only wants to eat fast food and the other spouse doesn’t per se as an example then why is one spouse penalized like it’s a character flaw?

How do women make “nice” when constantly women must be willing to give away their entire free time to the other spouse yet when women fall asleep in front of the television then the female spouse is considered unsupportive?

How is falling asleep in front of the television unsupportive?

There’s a warm and lovely body right there willing to spend their free time in front of the television.

Yes, I appreciate common experiences, however. Television is television.

Actions speak louder than words.

How do women make “nice” when most of the power in any relationship goes towards supporting men in any relationship, his hobbies and his friendships and family yet the woman must give up her friends and her family-time because there’s no money left over for her endeavors?

How do men and women bridge the great divide of ego?

Why does the ego get in the way of relationships?

Are women worth anything? Yes, absolutely.

Are women worth anything to men? Yes, absolutely.

Yes, every human has worth the moment they’re born.

~~~

A History of Slavery

It’s the Muslims who’ve taught me the wife is always hated by the in-laws. Oh, okay. I didn’t know the rules to hatred.

It’s the Muslims who’ve taught me according to the in-laws the wife will always be minimized and belittled and controlled because all the in-laws care about is their men. Oh, okay. I didn’t know.

For some reason wives are automatically hated for getting married into the in-laws therefore women are made to suffer a great deal of disempowerment and loss of control by being marginalized or contempt.

According to the Somali culture women are worth more than men. I agree. Women make life. Men make things.

According to the United States’ culture women are worthless. Not.

Personally, I believe our American history of enslavement has much to do with how Americans presently think about power structures and control.

Personally, I find most Caucasians get all of the say and power in how culture is conducted.

If any woman of color greatly disagrees with Caucasian people then automatically the woman of color is considered “insane” for not wanting to constantly appease Caucasians in their opinions about how to operate the entire world.

Mainly women of color are greatly disliked by Caucasians in general therefore all any woman can do is to keep quiet and to herself.

Except Caucasians in general tend to believe any “quiet” woman means she will conceded and give up on one’s convictions or opinions or ideas when women of color are quiet.

When women of color stay quiet then the racial issues of disempowerment don’t seem to exist for Caucasians in general yet if any woman of color speaks up (at any length) to peacefully be allowed to stand on her little bit of Earth and speak her truth then women of color are automatically deemed traitors for disagreeing with the powers that be which is mainly Caucasian rule.

Yes, men take top earning.

Women work for slightly above minimum wage.

Personally, throughout much of my mature adulthood most Caucasians older than me tend to only like me much more whenever I’m quiet and bend to their way or will or point of view.

If I don’t bend to any type of Caucasian point of view then automatically I’m disrespected or an issue is made out of my difference in opinion.

For the most part I present issues with well constructed arguments and am as respectful as I can be to hear out and listen and understand the other’s point of view.

Personally, I’d like it if at anytime I said, “No, thank you” then it would be left at that and I would be respected for simply verbalizing not wanting to place myself in situations in which I’ll be belittled or disrespected or marginalized by any one much less the people I show respect.

Being a modern woman of color comes with a lot of rules about how women of color must assimilate to Caucasian culture in general still yet my color makes me a token of interest or a badge of honor for Caucasian culture in general to pet themselves on the back and tell me I’m great to have around since I meet racial quotas.

Imagine people thought of as quotas? Weird. Right? Yes.

Personally, I don’t hate anyone. Nope.

Personally, I’ve been told I’m anything except shallow. I’m simplistic and can see the larger picture and take things “with a grain of salt.”

My greatest struggle in America is having my own point of view about how to spend my free time yet it’s a point of contention with Caucasian people in my life yet it’s Caucasians in the Midwest who’ve taught me people don’t ever visit each other or much less invite anyone over to dinner or at any time for any reason.

If I don’t invite people over then people don’t come over and it’s modern and civil to do as it is.

In modern culture one goes out to eat rather than go to other people’s houses to eat.

If I invite people over then the work is on me. I spent a decade hosting. I don’t have any interest to host dinner parties in person. Dinner parties take much, too, much time, resources and energy.

Modern culture dictates jeans and t-shirts and sweaters for a new modern age of business.

Modern culture dictates business deals over food or drink rather than the golf course. (Whew. I’m a terrible golfer.)

Personally, I don’t go around “coining” phrases or making up new words or making up rules to anything since I’m one single voice of a citizen.

Within the recent year I did invite guests over to dinner and they attended, however, for the most part people constantly cancel when invited over to anyone’s abode because modern culture doesn’t much like to go to other people’s houses and rather stay home and relax. I don’t like to go over to other people’s houses since modern culture has ingrained into me the idea about how modern culture no longer visits in the way in which the Greatest Depression Generation and era did. Okay. I go with the tide. I might be forty, however. I’m not dead. I can keep up.

The Jews have taught me it’s best to stay at home without the stress of belittlement or disrespect or contempt from others than to go out and be terribly badly treated by people who are supposed to be the most respectful, Americans.

In America women are taught to hate women.

In America men are taught to undermine or compete against men.

Competition is for sore losers.

Work is a group dynamic.

One of the most difficult aspects of America is how to be of any dark color pigmentation yet speak white and act white and be white without the light skin tone in pigmentation.

~~~

By modern standards:

Psychology is a new science

Since the early 1900’s

Psychology has much still yet to learn and prove

Psychology is only 100 years old

Some sciences are thousands of years old

By modern standards:

Philosophy is a made up subject

(Yes, I’ve read most of the ancient philosophers

and ancient mythologies)

(Yes, I’ve studied philosophy)

When will women of color hold the same amount of power as Caucasian women in general?

When will women of color hold the same respect as Caucasian women in general?

When will women of color have the same say as Caucasian women in general especially when it comes to women of color and their say as to how to best spend their free time at home sleeping or relaxing when it’s down time?

When will women of color be seen as human who happen upon faux pas and social cultural mistakes made by the input by other Caucasians?

Why is it when a woman of color makes a faux pas or social cultural mistake then she looks ridiculous or silly even though women of color take suggestions from the Caucasian rule book and advice from Caucasians?

When will women of color be completely assimilated into Caucasian culture and be considered equals?

When will women of color be considered beautiful?

When will women of color be considered?

When will women of color be equals to men?

Not once have I ever considered getting paid the same wages as men much less Caucasian men since I know what women of color are perceived as: inferior and how will this change?

No, I’m not inferior to anyone much less at the age of 40.

Less money for the same amount of work as men is quietly put in a subtle way in which one’s inferior to the other male counterparts.

When will dusty and antiquated eighteen-eighty-three (1883) societal structures fall away and Americans enter this new modern era of the second decade of the twenty-first century in the year 2018?

The twenty-first century came in screaming and kicking like a newborn not wanting to take in their first big gulp of breath of life and stinking mad about not being allowed back into the warm and safe womb of the mother.

What happened to racism within the first two decades of the twenty-first century? Nothing.

What happened to chauvinism within the first two decades of the twenty-first century? Nothing.

What happened to unfair wages within the first two decades of the twenty-first century? Nothing.

What happened to the power of balance within the twenty-first century? Nothing.

Will there ever be racial equality and equal pay by the end of my life-expectancy at the age of 68 as an Indigenous woman? Maybe.

Truly Yours,

Gabriel

Word Count: 2,119

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 2,119

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

“Hostility is like a stream: once it opens a path, it swiftly widens.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Philatelist (stamp collector)

President Roosevelt was a philatelist.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

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Adultery

Yes, as of the end of May of 2017 after acquiring a key and actively went to look for my passport and through old records and finally for the first time I literally sat down to read the divorce settlement papers from the first sixteen year marriage I realized we’d been adulterers since November 2006 through August 2007.

Oh My Gosh and at the time I was a twenty-eight year old and Roman Catholic and believed in a literal hell.

Married men are off limits.

Married men are nonnegotiable for dating women ten years younger than the women especially when the women are in their twenties.

How could such vital information have gone by me?

My problem is I’m naïve even though I’ve once again matured by leaps and bounds within the past five months and am actually an astute and well behaved and well socialized forty year old and smiling when appropriately or not smiling at all. I’m extremely well socially conditioned and adjusted (others tell me I am) and weekly drink tea with the neighbors and socialized for decades.

As of yesterday people told me I’m too nice and I tend to think most people are nice also when most people aren’t nice or kind.

On November of 2006 after verbally informing my roommate I was dating a man a decade my senior and separated in his first marriage yet still living with his first wife in the same house and mutually fallen out of love for five years then all hell broke loose and my roommate told me to “wake up and smell the roses” since we were technically committing adultery. She couldn’t believe how I could do such a thing to another woman. I agree. I didn’t know any better at the age of twenty-eight.

At the time my one roommate was in her twenties and within a week of telling her I was dating a separated married man then she abruptly decided to break a one year lease and unbeknownst to me moved out and fled and left a mean handwritten note behind her to inform me what she thought I was without ever having the courage to peacefully speak to me as we had done since December 2004 and tell me what truly bothered her most about my relationship to a forty year old separated yet married man who I worked with in the same office. I was informed the marriage was over and the first wife was in love with the first wife’s former writing college professor. I don’t know.

My roommate was not only angry.

My roommate was also disgusted with me. I felt ashamed.

My roommate told me not to be gullible. She was right.

A separated married man is a married man and must stay married and not date until divorces are final because marriage is forever in many idealistic ways and the marriage is able to be reconcilable at any time.

Yes, in hind sight I believe married people must do anything positive to stay together.

No foul. No harm done.

On such a November 2006 night I came home to an empty apartment and the place was dark and spooky and echoed and my roommate had left without as much as a single word while most roommates with years of friendship behind them don’t react as such.

Most people have the courtesy to at least pick up the phone and break off engagements or relationships with others.

It’s best not to break up any relationship over the phone, however. It’s best to call when there’s no other mode of communication.

Yes, I’ve had one friendship break up over the phone summer 2017. Now, I get it. Friendship breakups over the phone are the worst. Okay, Moving on. I’ve only broken up with one friend over the telephone summer 2012.

In my roommate’s aggressively ripped out grocery paper bag crumbled piece of paper and on a one paragraph hand written note my twenty-something roommate denounced I was a narcissist because I wouldn’t break off my relationship as my roommate demanded I do one week earlier when we stood in the kitchen and cooked on such a Friday night and talked about adultery.

My roommate didn’t request I break up she gave me an ultimatum I either break up with this separated married man or my roommate and I wouldn’t ever again be friends.

How dare I be willing to date a separated married man while my roommate considered such a separated married man in his forties, too, old for me to date, however, I was making the best decisions with the information presented to me at the time.

As I had explained to my roommate the situation had been explained to me the separated married couple had been apart for five years while the first wife “ran around.”

However, there’s no proven fact the first wife held any sexual encounters to anyone although I’ve been told otherwise for twelve years. It’s none of my business. I have no clue what happened in the first 16 year marriage since it’s always been a taboo subject matter to discuss.

It’s none of my business, anyway.

The past is in the past.

~~~

Within the first year of our adultery in November of 2006 one-by-one many of my Minnesota friends from the Twin Cities and of my generation broke up with me over my choice of dating a separated married man because my friends of a decade considered the entire situation adultery and my friends blatantly asked me to leave the relationship or I would later pay by either being controlled as a housewife without any income or divorced.

My friends simply asked under what circumstances and how we’d met and I answered them directly about how the separated married man and I met at work and my friends became enraged or angry or absolutely mad at me about the conditions in which the separated married man and I met and got together and started dating and soon after started living together within one month of dating.

By the end of two years, my five best friends wanted absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. They didn’t support the idea of me having dated a separated married man.

Friends of my generation were outraged at what we’d done. My friends thought better of me. How disappointed my friends were of me. I felt terrible even though I kept being reassured the first marriage was over. I believed.

My friends warned me, that all I’d ever be is a woman cleaning for an “old man.” I asked my friends to please not to speak to me in such terms about my relationship.

My friends told me I’d get old before my time being married to a man much older than me and cleaning up after him. I asked my friends to please not to speak to me in such terms about my relationship.

My friends wanted to choose for me my future partner and husband. I wouldn’t let them set me up with dates.

Early on my friends wanted to set me up with whom they best saw fit for me as a life partner. I didn’t mind the input simply I wanted to make my own decisions when it came to partnership and romance even though I’d been brought up to always take more than two opinions into consideration and to this day I abide by such rule.

~~~

On August of 2006 I began to work for a corporation.

On Thanksgiving of 2006 I began dating a separated married man from work.

On December of 2006 the separated married man and I moved in together into my two bedroom flat because at the time he believed his first wife of 16 years was threatening to kill him by standing at the bottom of the stairs and watch him sleep. I don’t know.

Out of all of the people in the world only the separated married man’s female best friend thought it a good idea we live together and save money after only one month of dating.

From the start of November 2006 I asked the separated married man to please not move in with me since we’d just began dating the prior month and we needed time to get to know each other.

By the end of December 2006 we moved in together while the separated married man was still married until August of 2007.

August of 2007 first sixteen year marriage divorce final.

In September of 2007 I took a career hit and volunteered to be fired from my ideal corporate job for being unwilling to spy against co-workers. I was sent home. I peacefully walked home.

By October 2008 I was told I could stay home and work from home if only I did all of the chores, cooking or cleaning and house work. It was a promise. It was a contract. I agreed. I would be taken care of except my partner refused to ever talk about the debt accrued in the first 16 years of marriage and omitted vital financial information. I stopped asking.

April 16^th, 2009 we married.

September of 2012 actually told roughly how much debt was accrued from the first 16 year marriage and how big of a hit we’d taken in the second marriage.

May of 2017 finally went and looked over and read the first 16 year marriage settlement papers and found out we actually had been adulterers while we dated and lived together.

Yes, I naively married for love even though now people tell me one doesn’t marry for love. One marries for financial security.

Yes, the only reason why I allowed for the separated married man to move in is because he continually told me he believed his first wife was going to kill him in his sleep. How awful. I buckled under the pressure. I was already in love with someone who I don’t ever want to see any physical harm come to them no matter what I once threatened in complete anger (words spoken in anger aren’t actually what they mean) in August 2017 my partner refused to give me money to go purchase socks.

Yes, we’re adulterers. What can I say? Nothing.

Except I’ve lived with this shame and guilt for close to twelve years since Roman Catholic and Episcopalian and Jewish belief system is to not ever be an adulterer no matter what otherwise one’s partner will eventually cheat since nothing in the relationship is held sacred to begin with.

Personally, to my knowledge we didn’t ever step out of our marriage. Nobody has ever wanted to be romantic with me and I’ve been directly informed. Thank you. I’m not romantic. I’m not sentimental. I’m pragmatic.

Personally I’ve been informed after one year without sex (unless the wife goes through illness) most men step out of their marriages unless the wife is physically ill then most men simply emotionally checks out of their marriages because men refuse to go without sex. Okay. I don’t know.

Truly Yours,

Gabriel

Job hunting…

Word Count: 1,888

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 2,390 + 1,343 + 1,888 = 5,621

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

“The hostile man engenders hostility against himself.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Pinnacle (high point, lofty peak)

After many years of hard work he reached the pinnacle of success.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello. Hi.

Upload: 5:43pm CT

Happy Tuesday!

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Yes, I’m looking to get my hands on a copy of “Fire and Fury.”

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Hypothyroidism vs. Hyperthyroidism

No, I’m not a medical doctor.

No, I’m not a scientist.

No, I’m not a mathematician.

No, I’m not a journalist.

No, I’m not an actress.

No, I’m not a bot.

Simply, I’m someone who throughout the last twenty years dealt with many different forms of tumors as well as dealt with anything from nerve pain to unimaginable organ pressure pain to pharmaceutical pain while quitting Oxy-Contin prescribed medication for tumor growth (2010-2012, 2013.)

My main concern in life is how physical illnesses and disease cause different people to react in certain ways or not.

Most illness can bring out the worst in people’s personalities simply because continual and constant pain isn’t natural.

However, our burdens are our own to carry and heal from.

No, I don’t speak to anyone about my thyroid tumors.

Today, I was informed about how people on any form of pharmaceutical pain killers or anti-depressants are people who don’t pass any types of bowel movements for about four days at a time and usually such people are in dire pain and incredibly angry people and it’s not because they’re insane, it’s because they live in sheer physical pain from their bowels. Ok.

My heart goes out to anyone who’s dealt with such discomfort as to not be able to pass any type of bowel movement for days at a time. How painful.

53% of Americans are hopped up or drugged up on some form of pain killers or anti-depressants.

The main aspect to constipation is to eat foods conducive to healthily pass bowel movements and also to learn to massage (rub down) the abdominal area and back (with deep tissue rub or soft tissue rub) while sitting in the bathroom waiting to go at least once per day.

Illnesses takes time to nourish and keep healthy and on top of disease or pain.

Past the age of 20 most people have something or other they contend with some form of illness or other.

The great aspect about pharmaceuticals is mainly medicine is there to help fluctuate certain dire literal medical physical conditions while creating others is difficult to deal with, however. Cope we must.

The Thyroid

Mainly, “in a nut shell” the thyroid is a gland in the throat for which temperature is controlled as well as metabolism.

The reason why I like to write about whatever medically occurs to me is to have attention placed and be drawn to the more hormonal aspects of the human body than not.

Humans are made up of hormones.

The thyroid has nothing to do with being insane.

On both men and women the thyroid has to do with body temperature control and either weight gain or weight loss.

When the thyroid is enlarged then usually one eats salt and the thyroid works well.

However, when clusters of tumors like grape branches form on either side of the thyroid then all one can do is to learn to keep one’s body temperature balanced or one will faint from overheating.

Although, rarely will one faint hence one learns to more easily navigate and fluctuate body temperature like a pro.

When branches of tumors form on either side of the thyroid gland then more or less all one can do is to keep an eye on the tumors and the size of the tumors.

As of now my cluster of tumors are too small to operate on and yet, too, big not to notice the difference in body temperature as well as metabolism.

From the very little I know since spring 2017 I’ve dealt with “hot flashes” or change in rapid body temperature while I lay down to sleep.

The only times I get “hot flashes” are when I lay down and sleep.

Mainly, after four or five years with branches of tumors on either side of the thyroid I find as of recently my body heats up incredibly quickly and rapidly to an excessive boiling point therefore I must dress down to nothing except t-shirts and jeans throughout the days otherwise a sweater or a jacket can cause me to faint and I refuse to go around fainting since I’m smart enough to regulate my own body temperature.

When the body comes near an overheated point then one feels like fainting mainly because it’s like when one has pneumonia and one isn’t able to control body temperature and the body excessively overheats incredibly and rapidly and one must either immediately bring down the body temperature or jump into a bath filled with ice otherwise with pneumonia one can quickly die, however, with the thyroid one mainly experiences extreme discomfort for years at a time.

Do you know what it’s like to not have one’s body control body temperature? Rather uniquely weird.

Thyroid and Metabolism

My body weight is 145 pounds.

The food I eat is mainly bagels with cream cheese or “spring greens” or fruit in the form of apples or bananas or blueberries or 16 chips with dinner.

Cereal and milk and Mac and Cheese are on the list as well as Chinese order-in or pizza or fast food hamburgers. Keeping away from sugar sodas or sweets even though I have a sweet tooth.

As of yesterday I found out usually when one has a thyroid condition in which one runs hot then one must not drink alcohol (which I drink one beer per week, no more wine and no more Champaign except New Year’s Eve) as well as one must go without hot coffee or chocolate or hot teas and hot cocoa or hot drinks thus mainly only water and cold drinks will do to keep body temperature down and from overheating.

Life without hot coffee will be different.

Life without chocolate will be different.

Life without hot cocoa will be different.

Life without hot tea will be different.

All I know is one must literally look forward and keep one’s chin parallel to the ground otherwise when one moves one’s head too much or rotates one’s head to either side of one’s shoulders then the thyroid gland and the cluster of tumors squeeze the voice box therefore I stay quite still since my voice can sometimes become a whisper or raspy or thin.

The loss of literal voice quality is unfortunate.

For years now I’ve know I can easily choke on certain foods therefore I refuse to eat certain types of pancake mix or granola mixes or anything too refined in the same consistency as sugar otherwise by mistake I’ll end up choking on food and a coughing fit can go on for a long while.

Cereal must be eaten soggy.

Personally, the only time my throat burns is when I either touch my throat or sleep wrong on my neck or by mistake choke on refined foods or the tumors ever as slightly grow with the passing years.

No, the thyroid tumor pain isn’t like the fibroid tumor pain.

The thyroid tumor pain is more like a constant numbness.

Yes, the thyroid tumor pain is ten times more manageable and without a hormonal influx simply a temperature influx.

The thyroid tumors don’t cause me to be hormonally irritable or angry simply more quiet to preserve my voice.

There’s nothing weirder than not be able to have the body naturally regulate its own temperature. I’m bewildered at how tremendous the human body truly is.

Sometimes if the thyroid gland is too enlarged then the only way to truly get any food down the throat is to tilt one’s head back and put food into one’s mouth by hand and chew and get it down.

The other most severely painful daily ritual is to brush one’s tongue with toothpaste and the toothpaste burns the throat like fire.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count: 1,343

Word Count Goal for the week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 2,390 + 1,343 = 3,733

Monday, January 8, 2018

“Hostility is curable -- unless it rests on envy.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Piquant (stimulating to the palate, sharp)

He relishes the piquant sauce served with the shrimp.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello.

Upload: 4:45pm CT

Happy Monday!

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Adult Women aren’t Children

On Sunday, December 10^th, 2017 for the first time in my life I literally fainted from overheating. I fainted for three seconds. I had a “Wendy Williams’ moment.”

Yes, on the Sunday of December 10^th I did some online research on the subject of overheating and fainting and menopause.

Fainting isn’t pretty. One goes down like a heavy mass.

In December 2017 for the first time I caught wind or news of Wendy Williams and her fainting spell. I earnestly can’t imagine how fainting must’ve been for Wendy Williams especially over public broadcast television. My heart went out to her. At least I fainted by myself in private and in the comfort of my abode. Completely sober and overheated.

Once women become of a certain age then women easily overheat from “hot flashes” and one must re-learn how to dress all over again especially for cold weather. On must dress in layers.

Yes, women get their menopause at the age of fifty, however.

My hormones have been ill therefore at the age of forty I now get hot flashes and am going through early menopause. Menopause lasts about a decade. By the age of fifty I’ll be done with menopause.

No, I no longer get hormonal influxes and flashes of anger and hold my tongue and barely react unless directly addressed then I speak and what more is there to say? Hi.

Yes, if my black hair begins to go grey or white then I’ll grow out my hair long and turn my hair white simply because I think white hair is gorgeous.

No, I don’t speak or discuss pre-menopause with anyone I know other than my female doctors. Thank you.

No, I don’t whine or complain about pre-menopause with anyone at all. Thank you.

Hardly, anyone in my life knows I’m going through early menopause unless my friends and family read this blog which they don’t.

Simply, because I write as an “open book” doesn’t mean I’m willing to verbally impose myself or discuss extremely private health matters with anyone since it’s my personal burden to carry.

No, I don’t ever go around discussing or describing my daily bowel movements. No. I’m not three.

Americans tend to tell me about their bowel movements therefore I write about bowel movements since discussing such aspects of health seems all too common in modern culture.

Writing isn’t speaking.

Writing isn’t conversation.

Writing is after the fact.

Writing is notation.

Writing is copious notes.

Writing is writing and noteworthy.

Personally, I pride myself in being American, however. We’re all first human with needs and wants and desires.

Humans are organic matter and chemical compounds.

Humans are protein and electricity.

Modern women are classy and mature.

Women know mature women must first take care of our emotional needs even though women are hormonally different than men. Men also are hormonal only differently from women.

~~~

No, I’m not a “spoiled brat,”

(not in general)

However, I sure can act like one

When personally attacked

or provoked for a length of time

or physical boundaries crossed.

As a mature woman of forty, I don’t have much to say to anyone.

What is there to say?

There’s nothing much to say to any one person unless people are mature and consistent and in control of their hormones or people ask questions.

Without any fake-pregnancy hormones and tumors I don’t have much of anything verbal to say since life is complex and full of context and content and mature adult circumstances and situations and continual forgiveness and being the bigger person especially when others refuse to be socially well conditioned to be positively social with others.

The entire goal of mature adulthood is not to ever go out of one’s way to put down or undermine or alienate or purposely hurt or misguide other people’s feelings or criticize or judge or belittle or berate people who don’t share the same opinions otherwise quiet and snarky verbal misconduct is about being unhappy with life through manipulative or convoluted miscommunication for the sake to throw others off imbalance of power over absolute control of other people only when one is insecure about their place in the world.

Snarky is for television. Television isn’t real yet influential.

Snarky is what television characters do in sitcoms.

Money has nothing to do with power.

{As far as I know I’ve been considered a “nobody” as an American immigrant and have paid my own taxpayer’s taxes since the age of sixteen. I get a vote. I get a say.

Since I get a vote then anyone else also gets a vote.

Since I get a say then anyone else also gets a say.

Since I blog then anyone else is also able to constructively blog from their open point of view.

Blogging is more or less contemporary record keeping.

The entire point of this blog’s lesson: Americans are democratic in freedom of speech thus Americans are considered one of the most powerful nations on Earth as well as great writers. I don’t own the internet. (One of my favorite genres is to read contemporary blogs.) I simply stand on my bit of earth and write down data about any subject matter for which calls to be fit to write about on any particular day.}

Power is more than influence.

Power can’t be bought.

Love can’t be bought.

Respect is granted.

Trust is earned.

Money is about acquiring resources.

Money is about sharing resources.

No, I hardly ever care what others do.

Their decisions are their own.

No, I don’t ever believe or think I know the answer when events or circumstances or situations are right or wrong.

For sure I know there’s a major grey spectrum.

Yes, when provoked for long periods of time over decades then I can get stubborn because positive change is only around the corner.

Yes, I can act like a “spoiled brat” with three specific different people in my life since all I’ve ever wanted is control over my free time to spend down time however I’ve wanted without the pressure of obligations or without having to be obliged to spend my money or time to clean for other people or possibly have to entertain others when I’m a guest or criticized or belittled for resting and relaxation or to be made to feel guilty or ashamed for not taking out other people’s garbage or to agree with them in all matters of opinion.

~~~

One Must Meet One’s Emotional Needs

Emotionally needy people or insecure people sure are exhausting when people don’t meet their own emotional needs therefore I stay away and rest and relax whenever it’s down time otherwise computer time, job hunting and writing and running a property for earned wages.

Yes, seldom yet in complete miscommunication have I acted out through intense fake-pregnancy hormonal imbalance and three surgeries only with three different people in my life who haven’t been able to hear or accept “no, thank you.” I don’t want to visit because tumors are tiresome and when there’s down time then one must first always take care of themselves and not others. Doctors have told me.

Yes, I verbally argued with my partner because I didn’t know how to emotionally take care of myself when I’d already said “no” sometimes nearly in the upwards of five times while discussing how to spend our free time. Eight years of car rides were out of the question for me.

Please, by all means -- be my guest and go ahead and attend events whenever, however. If my health doesn’t permit me to venture out then I won’t. The end of story.

Yes, as a mature woman I learned early in our marriage there was hardly any money for me at all and more of the first marriage marital debt therefore I forwent without hair cuts or forming friendships which consist of going out in public for meals or events since there wasn’t any money to differently conduct life I resigned myself to such facts and sacrificed a decade of solitude which one can end solitude at any given moment and work outside the home or volunteer, however.

For domestic partners who work inside the home then more work outside of the home is only added work on top of housework without pay.

Yes, intellectually I’ve always known not to yell or scream or swear at anyone and I don’t for the most part.

Although, within the past twenty years and about 7 verbal altercations if by the time I’ve already specifically yelled or sworn or screamed at someone is only because such misbehaved humans have already literally either spat in my face or pushed me or inappropriately touched me or have said things such as “you’ll make a terrible mother” then I’ve lectured at high octave and my throat has hurt for days afterwards. Ouch.

As any mature woman I’m not a verbal bully to anyone except when I’ve been physically attacked. I hold the right to defend myself whenever possible I’ve had my life literally threatened.

As any mature woman I’m glad others live their lives as they best see fit without ever having me figure out the answers for others. I don’t care to make decisions for others.

As any mature woman I live my life and constructively figure out my life as a woman and human and to the best of my ability I am a good neighbor and a good friend and a good confidant and a mature human who minds my own business and don’t go looking for trouble or want to ever address any issues of any matter unless someone brings up issues or someone doesn’t follow through with already set plans in motion unless discussed to stop or change course.

No, I absolutely don’t judge or criticize other people unless they personally come at me which in my life it has only been Caucasian people who have made it absolutely and evidently well known to me I have zero value and hold no worth, however. Wrong.

As any mature woman I have absolute value and much worth.

No, I don’t have any power.

No, the point of this blog isn’t to hold any power. No, I’m too simply minded and care too much about balance than about power.

Yes, I have a voice.

Yes, I have opinions and for the most part my opinions aren’t always wrong simply because I do much research and read tens of thousands of articles per year.

No, I’m neither a child nor to be treated like a child.

Time and time again I’ve proven I’m not a child.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to be a spoiled brat? No.

Wouldn’t it be awesome to stay a child forever? No.

Middle Income Earners don’t afford to be mentally ill or spoiled brats.

Middle Income Earners afford to be mature.

~~~

Physical Pain

Feels like Torture

Of the human body

Since I no longer live in pain or with fibroid tumors then I’m finally relaxed and back to my old self in which I don’t care to correct anyone no matter how wrong they are. I don’t get riled up about anything since there’s no point in ever being serious since nothing’s as important as getting stressed out over anything other than…

Snarky is insecurity in real life.

As far as modern Americans know “snarky” only exists in characters portrayed on modern sitcoms. Ok. Good to know.

Good sense of humor is good sense of humor.

Generally funny is awesome.

Yes, I can go days and years and decades without verbally saying anything since I spent the decade of my twenties living alone in an apartment without conversation except from awesome neighbors throughout the decades of weekly hot chocolate sessions and parties and potlucks once a week even if we lived on top of neighborhood and tourist garbage and I personally without discussing with the neighbors volunteered to clean up in front of our block with large garbage bags and rubber gloves especially when my parents or family visited our flat in Uptown.

No, one doesn’t ever have to clean up neighborhood garbage, however. One must keep one’s yard and property for the most part clean and neat. It’s what most people pay property taxes for as well as for public districts and public education.

Yes, as a part time domestic stay-at-home housewife and documentary film maker I strongly believed in getting out there in front of our block and pick up the neighborhood and tourist garbage and move on with the days and weeks and months and six years in the same flat in the same neighborhood.

Literally, weekly for years as a stay-at-home housewife and documentary filmmaker I would go out in all types of weather behind our alley and pick up smashed glass run over by the garbage trucks then our car wouldn’t get flat tires. I didn’t find it necessary to ask for volunteer help from neighbors since people are adults and they’ll care for what they find important.

To donate money is easier than physical volunteer work.

~~~

All One Can Control is One’s Reaction

From Conflict Always Walk Away First

Yes, intellectually I know not to react to negative criticism since negative criticism is others showing their true colors about how insecure they are.

Yes, intellectually I know not to react to people wanting to control my spare time since from now on I’m going to do what is best for me which is rest and relax while others get stressed out about their social obligations since I don’t have any obligations after a decade of giving my free time away to in-laws.

Yes, now for which I survived fibroid tumors and the pain and hemorrhaging through eight continuous years then I don’t care to ever “get out of character” or angry about the pettiness of others.

Yes, let others be angry and deal with their own disappointments.

Yes, I’m mature since I’ve proven I’ve had to give much more of myself than others have. Act as the bigger man. Be quiet and go about one’s way.

Truly Yours;

Gabriel

Word Count: 2,390

Word Count Goal for the Week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 2,390

Thursday, January 4, 2018

“Hostility ruins sleep.”

“Hostility comes from fear.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Acquiesced (accepted, agreed, assented)

He acquiesced in the decision of the majority.

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Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

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Hello.

Upload: 5:32pm CT

Happy Thursday!

It now takes me an hour to blog and 30 minutes to edit.

I’ve cut down my writing time from four hours.

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Correction: from “vowel” to bowel movement.

A vowel is: A, E, I, O and U while a bowel movement is organic matter passed through the body and made into fecal matter.

Correction: from “process of illumination” to “process of elimination”

When I write English I sound out words for which many different English words sound alike. Lost in translation.

If one thinks I’m a bad English speller and punctuator then it’s correct, however. I’m worse as a Spanish speller and punctuation.

English is real difficult to write well without any mistakes.

The great aspect about editing is to catch mistakes and correct them. One foot in front of the other.

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No, I don’t have a need to be relevant since I don’t make headlines.

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Mainly, I jumped back up on the horse because my friends told me not to give up on something I had already started and to finish it. Ok.

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Men and Women

Sexual Health

Mainly, I’m concerned with women’s health.

Women’s sexual health and reproductive rights are underrated.

Progress is nice, however.

Healthy change is better.

Sexually women have needs.

Sexually men have needs.

Yes, throughout (not all the time) eight years of benign fibroid tumors and three operations and continual hemorrhaging and actual pain I did wrongfully and ignorantly asked for a “divorce” from my partner when all I meant to ask is to please “give me a break” from the in-laws since my body was in constant physical pain with both my colon and bladder pushed and squeezed for the tumors to grow and take place and shape and form inside the uterus until I could barely breathe well or sit upright.

Yes, car rides were the most painful aspect to contend or deal with.

A car ride to the grocery store was more painful than I can explain here thus at times I took out my physical pain on my partner and would pick stupid fights then we’d get extremely mad at each other and all hell broke loose while we would yell at each other then went completely silent and ignored any type of miscommunication or conflict until the next time many months down the road.

Therefore, the more the tumor pain became unbearable with each passing year and each car ride then the less I cared to travel anywhere other than directly to the couch on weekends for the long Sabbath of doing absolutely nothing at all as I have for the past twenty years.

However, I felt guilty and ashamed to be considered a bad in-law for not wanting to make any trips each year for seven years and make the annual 17 trips per year to see the in-laws when my body didn’t have the ability to take painful three hour car rides on weekends which left me exhausted, irritable and in more physical pain than I was willing to admit I could manage on my own at the time.

For some reason my illnesses and actual physical pain were constantly undermined or dismissed or diminished or minimized and I was told I was expected to be present and represent our side of the familial order by being married to the youngest son and mandatorily show up each and almost nearly every time the in-laws beckoned us even though I was “sicker than a dog” the contradiction to not feel obligated or obliged yet mandatorily summoned was too much pressure and I got mad at the social pressure to constantly appease others when I couldn’t or I didn’t want to.

“No, thank you,” didn’t ever mean “No, thank you.”

Yes, I knew it was best for me to stay close to home and not clean or take care of anybody else’s needs while I was terribly sick yet the pressure to be a good daughter and wife and to constantly and always support men and men’s families is something I buckled under the pressure and I shan’t again. I don’t like to have to entertain people like a little monkey. A guest is a guest and not the entertainment or the cleaning crew.

Personally, I don’t like to have to take all of the interest in a conversation with mostly all others present in a group since its exhaustive work to talk to people especially without any misunderstanding, however.

When no one ever asks about anybody else then it means people are jealous or aren’t mindful enough to think of questions to ask others or they simply don’t care to know therefore there’s nothing to do except be quiet or ask questions at exhaustive lengths to navigate around awkward silences yet questions aren’t any two way conversation. Questions are questions rather than shared interest.

The whole point is this:

No, I didn’t have the courage to stay home alone and take care of myself and send my partner off to see the in-laws by himself therefore I felt slighted by constantly having to choose between giving up my free time from cleaning and writing and having to be forced to take care of my health in having to chose excruciating travel by car.

Being in pain is the quickest way to be sexless.

The more I debated and argued for not wanting to go to the in-laws then the more heated the discussions got about not ever being able to discuss proper rules and times and place for which to visit two sets of families rather than only one through seven years of an illness.

Yes, personally I excluded my family from getting together with them for the past three years mainly because there was only money and time to go see one set of in-laws, however not the other side of the family.

You don’t ever have to go and visit with anyone you don’t want to even if it’s your parents. Although, it’s best, however, not mandatory or an obligation.

Money got in the way of discussing real important issues about why only one side of the family got all of the economic travel budgets and attention and time and not others.

~~~

Yes, money and sex are closely related and deal with much of who has the control in a relationship. Although, it’s wrong to have all of the control. Otherwise, it isn’t a relationship.

No matter how much one partner may feel uncomfortable with decisions made, ultimately, the decisions come down to who makes more money or who makes all of the money then one partner is out of luck or voice or say as to how a couple lives a lifestyle jointly without ever taking advantage of the one who works from home and their valuable time for rest and relaxation without entertaining the in-laws.

It’s wrong for only one partner to have all of the control and say and money in a relationship.

Yes, I was a coward and would not actually come out and ask why only importance or emphasis was placed on one set of family members and not others when I didn’t care to have to travel to anywhere.

Yes, even though at times my family has yelled and gotten extremely mad at each other and said the unthinkable such as we’ve sworn to refuse to ever forgive each other, we actually do come around and do forgive each other. We do actually prove to be good to each other. We prove to be a family.

Aside from any personal issues why does only one partner usually get all the say or greedily makes all of the decisions about the most important financial decisions needed to be made such as how to spend vacation time and money.

Yes, I was a coward not to be able to come out and say I needed new pair of socks from August 2012 through May 2017.

May 2017 I finally bought socks for my birthday.

Not having enough money for one partner’s basic needs is an oversight and disrespectful.

No, I ought not to ever over-give of myself and be made the martyr or victim or immature since I’m a woman.

Why is it difficult to debate or bicker or reasonably argue with a partner to please supply money for socks to their stay-at-home partner when the bigger issue is for years there’s no money for one partner because cleaning house and taking care of a property isn’t considered a respectful occupation therefore the sex dampens and life is more difficult and meaner than need be.

The more I brought up the word “divorce” and the more my partner negatively reacted to me then the more I felt safe because there was some spark of hope left between us enough to show he cared to argue or at least showed any type of emotion other than withdrawn anger he actually showed concern and I could tell he cared even though he hardly ever come out and said, “I care about what happens to us.”

Yes, I was a coward and wasn’t ever able to verbalize I needed physical affection and a “thank you” once a week.

No, I’ve not ever asked to be called beautiful or be treated like a princess. All I’ve ever wanted is a sign of appreciation. I wanted to be wanted and needed rather than be discarded as something insignificant I did to take care of our home.

Yes, I was too much of a coward to say I needed to be appreciated not because I need to hear how great I am. Simply I need to know I’m still seen as a woman.

Mainly, I wanted to hear some type of gratitude about my efforts as a cleaning woman for housewife because if no one knows this then being a domestic partner or parent or an educational teacher are the three most difficult jobs in the world. They don’t ever end. It’s all work all day long.

Yes, I wanted to be sexually recognized and wanted by my partner, however. My partner assumed I didn’t ever want sex because I was ill with uterine tumors and hemorrhaging.

For the most part my partner was right, however. I wanted to be asked because I was too much of a coward to ask for sex simply and only because I’m the woman in the relationship and the weaker sex.

Yet the more negative attention I received from my partner when we fought about traveling or finances or how much of our free time we had to give up I still wasn’t romantically satisfied since tragically all of our meals for eleven years took place in front of the television then my partner and I didn’t ever have eye contact or face time or have to talk about anything in our lives to each other therefore the years passed by and no one would say anything of much value or meaning or importance because the television took precedence over the relationship and the partners in the relationship are immature with each other since no one wants to hear what the other person has to say on a daily basis.

The research shows the loneliest people are married people.

Yes, I wanted to feel sexy with my partner.

Yet the more I brought up the word “divorce” as a way to bond and have us have at least something in common to discuss between us then the more difficult it became to be intimately nurtured and love was withheld and I became more scared I was being disrespected and I wasn’t loved therefore we physically did hold each other throughout the years and were sexually active without being sexual, however.

~~~

The hemorrhaging made love making difficult as well as the excruciating pain from the tumors.

It was difficult to ask for sex ever since summer 2016 when my father put the idea inside my head all marriage is prostitution and even though my father might as well be right. I didn’t want to think of myself as a prostitute even though in marriage one ends up paying a hefty price for sex.

Yes, I want to be considered a sexual being without having my breasts hang out of my shirt and even though I clean the bathroom floor.

Not only do I wish to be considered a sexual being by my partner, however.

When most of one’s family sees one as a “matron” then what other role does one have other than the given role to clean up messes and to clean up after others until one stops and decides another role for oneself.

No, I don’t want to be turned into an old woman before my time.

Yes, I first want to be respected for being nurturing and taking great and genuine interest in the lives of others and giving more of myself than is required, however.

Yet, why can’t I ever be the first one to say, “no.” I don’t want to have to navigate or negotiate how many times per year I had to see in-laws in order to get sexual intimacy or to set aside a little bit of money to fulfill my basic needs such as purchase socks or underwear.

Why does a woman have to give up so much more of herself than men do in order to be respected by men and their families?

Finally two summers ago as of 2016 my father explained to me that asking for a “divorce” is the same as not having job security.

Yes, relationships are hard work, however, love isn’t work.

Mainly, I wanted attention from my partner and the only way to get attention was to bring up the word “divorce” and he would actually get interested in us and riled up about something or anything at all pertaining to us as a romantic couple.

Yes, I needed any type of attention so long as I got attention because gratitude was withheld and hardly ever heard a simple “thank you” for all of the cleaning and organization I did throughout a decade does leave one washed out and with very little sexuality.

Yes, I’ve been accused of being obsessive compulsive about cleaning, however.

Occasional prescription of painkillers such as Oxy-Contin makes people do funny things like over clean or speak in moronic made-up accents because the brain receptors don’t handle the chemical imbalance of strong pharmaceuticals.

Yes, I’ve been accused of being obsessive compulsive about cleaning, however. Two years spent on 20MG of Escitalopram for a fake-pregnancy hormone imbalance is nearly the same as being on speed and one cleans and cleans and one’s aware one cleans too much yet it’s difficult to stop until the body almost drops from exhaustion.

Yes, I’m aware I took out pent up aggression and hostility out on cleaning.

Yes, I’m all, too, aware about how sexless I became throughout the years in which I was pigeon holed into a particular female role of caretaker rather than guest to in-laws.

Yes, I over cleaned throughout the years because I wasn’t bringing in any money as a housewife and our in-laws brought up the subject about how I didn’t work outside of the home therefore I didn’t make any money therefore more or less insinuated I brought nothing valuable to the table therefore I had to prove to have some worth and the only thing I had was to clean like a farmer girl and take care of a man’s whole existence therefore I was stuck in some sick cycle of over cleaning and also pushed to offer to clean for some of my in-laws even though I didn’t want to otherwise I was belittled or berated as a houseguest and when one is a continual houseguest throughout the years then all one does is keep any conflict at bay thus I obeyed like a child and was stuck in a child-woman role to have to ask for permission as to how I wanted to spend my free time for relaxation.

The first time I ever visited my in-laws they handed me a bucket of soapy water and rag cloths and told me to go and clean all of their outdoor windows. It took me two hours while I was yelled at how bad I was at cleaning windows for free.

Holy cow. Extremely bad manners.

Pain can drive people to say crazy things or so it’s been explained by nurses at hospital.

Yes, I’m disappointed in myself not to have been able to find a better word other than “divorce” when all I ever wanted was to be romantically acknowledged in some form or another by my partner other than conflict.

Yes, even though I’m allergic to plants and flowers.

Once in a while on our anniversary and with my partner’s initiative I wanted him to surprise me with a dozen roses except I ran the household ledger and there wasn’t ever any money for frivolous gifts such as roses or jewelry therefore a woman will sacrifice yet the sacrifice might make her bitter and isolated not to ever have a man make a gesture of romantic love.

The reason why I don’t wear jewelry is because jewelry can be heavy and throw off the alignment of the spine. I don’t like any jewelry to weigh down any one side of my body on either side of the spine ridge, however.

If only once in eleven years without any reminders or asking or having to mention purchasing a piece of jewelry I would’ve loved it if it could’ve happened out of my partner’s sheer imagination to go for it and purchase romantic gifts otherwise one goes without womanly gifts for years at a time and then the role of woman becomes a thing rather than a human.

No, not ever do I expect life to be romantic.

If anything life is unromantic.

Life is stupendous and amazing, however, hardly ever romantic. Most of life is organization and work and rest, if possible which relaxation of the body isn’t necessarily sex.

Relaxation is pleasure

Rest is to restore muscle.

Sex is for pleasure.

How do partners bridge the great divide when sex is difficult to discuss or do?

After years of intimacy how do people best rectify their need for autonomy yet stay sexually active with interest and love and respect in active relationships?

No, I don’t get personal about the history of my current legal partner and my sexual relationship since it’s extremely private.

No, I haven’t ever written about what positions we took or how we looked in the nude or how it felt. No.

If anything I talk about something more valuable such as how to stay sexually connected to one’s partner long after the sexual intimacy fled the relationship?

How do couples in general overcome withholding sex or intimacy or general physical attraction when they’re either distant from each other or angry at each other or stubborn or filled with negative emotions which drive people from a place of ego than a place of kindness and love.

How do people truly forgive human error and heated words and past hurts and occasional bursts of anger in search of love?

How do people deal with the disrespect of withheld love?

How do people deal with rejection?

How do people move forward when hardly any human contact is made between couples in general?

The only way to get through difficult patches is to be graceful.

Why do people allow themselves to get to a point of being irritated by the things which used to bring them the most joy?

What is it about sex which can be used as a power play?

What is it about money which can be used as a power play?

Positive sexual relations is when both partners love and find it within themselves to let go of past wrongs and words said in anger and physical pain otherwise people are only conditionally loved.

It’s more difficult to forgive then people think when people are closed off or driven by ego or simply stuck in being angry for the sake to being angry or mad about being rejected or ignored or abandoned since we’re all ignored or abandoned or rejected to a certain extend or another in any relationship.

Ego is a great destroyer of faith.

Greed is a great provider to justify how to control resources.

Why is sex a controlled resource in marriage?

Truly Yours,

Gabriel

Word Count: 3,462

Word Count Goal for the Week: 5,000

Word Count for this Week: 1,979 + 3,462 = 5,441

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

“I conquered my hostility by putting it away until the day I might need it.”

(Leo Rosten’s Treasury of Jewish Quotations)

Cogent (compelling assent or agreement of belief, convincing)

He presented a cogent reason for not following the crowd.

--- --- ---

Street Etiquette.

Shouting.

Chapter 9.

Page 136

The above passage is indeed correctly re-copied unto this page.

--- --- ---

Hello.

Upload: 5:25pm CT

Happy Wednesday!

--- --- ---

Take it away Ms. Rachel Maddow!

(No, I don’t go out of my way to meet or reach out or get in touch with Ms. Maddow.) Nope.

Take it away Mr. Bill Maher!

(Yes, I have written only two letters to two famous people. George W. Bush and Mr. Bill Maher. I wrote a letter to Mr. Bill Maher about the huge controversial municipal matter on the minds of Los Angeles, CA citizens and civilians, August 2017: clean water action.)

The show “Delicious” Thank you.

Mr. Graham Norton’s ‘The Red Chair’ Thank you.

“Travel Man” Thank you.

My top 5 films:

Caddyshack

Happy Gilmore

Blade Runner #1 and #2

Rogue One

Yes, Hallmark’s terrible films are mind candy.

They lack a lot to be desired.

Yes, my film scripts are as terrible as any Hallmark film.

Oh, the Hallmark films rock in the sense the video is high resolution and the cinematography is steady and strong and smooth as well as idealistic storylines and make-believe plot lines. Fluff.

--- --- ---

“Back Up On the Horse”

Writing doesn’t take money to do.

Writing takes time and thought and effort to write.

Okay, I won’t abandon ship only two years out.

There’re only four things I’m really good at:

Eating food and writing and constructively thinking

through ideas and thought analysis

and discrepancies in communications

and organization of hardware or digital files.

Yes, still job hunting.

~~~

Rollercoaster Rides are a Safe

American Pastime

One of the greatest American pastimes is to partake in roller coaster rides.

There’s nothing “insane” about roller coaster rides otherwise one wouldn’t ride such fine piece of machinery and hunk of metal.

As with the word “hate” and “insane” or the “n” word please refrain from modern vernacular usage of the language unless or otherwise one literally means exactly what one says.

Yes, “everybody’s crazy,” “however, not everyone’s insane.”

Rather than say “insane” it’s best to say “awesome.”

When technology stands of its own accord then it’s brilliant.

When content makes sense then it’s brilliant of its own accord.

This content is for this space and place and time and medium and no other.

No, I’m not seeking to be relevant since I don’t make any headlines. I’m a laywoman citizen and civilian.

Yes, when we first begun this blog I thought no one would read and the blog was meant to be more like “a message in a bottle” and forgotten and found a hundred years later to be read then, however. Blogs seem to be extremely contemporary.

No, I’m not spectacular.

Yesterday, I got down on hands and knees and wiped down the toilet seat and scrubbed the bathroom floor and took out the trash and recycling.

Content is at viewer’s discretion.

A good and perfect writer makes good sense out of the world’s confusion by deciphering through the “process of elimination” and critical thought analysis.

Thinking is work.

Writing is thinking through the malicious confusion of none sense.

If one doesn’t like this content then don’t look. Writing isn’t like an outfit since my clothes are on straight there’s no reason to criticize my wardrobe.

Look away.

Don’t read.

It’s a free country.

No, this isn’t “chic lit” since it’s a journal entry and not a novel.

No, I don’t like to publically write yet I love to write and I like the process of discipline since editing my own writing proves to be more difficult than writing in and of itself even though writing is the bulk of the hard work.

Yes, I finished my one film script per year which I’m now up to three per year except I’m terrible at the genre.

No, writers don’t ever run out of ideas for subject matter to write.

Anything is fodder.

Actors play make-believe character roles in movies or plays on a stage or television.

Actors are real people. Yes.

Actors aren’t to be considered or associated by the roles actors play from different characters actors play in film scripts.

Writers, especially bloggers write from their alter-ego.

My literary alter-ego takes after my Grandpa Al who was a crabby and cantankerous and curmudgeonly old Finn man and was one of my best of friends before he died with a solid heart of gold.

Personally, I find most if not then many of American roller coaster rides to be some of the most fun and exciting and exhilarating and safest of pastimes since we believe in American engineering thus our family and friends and extended beloved ones continue to frequent roller coaster rides and find roller coaster rides enjoyable and a feat of ingenuity, precision and smarts.

Amazing how one is able to go on any safe adventure and return in one piece without falling out of the sky or crash to one’s death or mistakenly kill anyone else, for such matters.

At the end of any awesome roller coaster ride one touches Tierra firma and gets to go on to the cotton candy station and popcorn booth.

Super awesome to defy the laws of literary gravity and ride fast around corners or to descend super fast from a high vantage point of view and altitude again without crashing to one’s death or to one’s demise.

There’s nothing more American than cotton candy, roller coasters and hotdogs.

Of course, baseball.

~~~

A List:

1. Yes, I refuse to collect disability

Since I’m not mentally ill

Continually since 2014,

I pass psychological tests

and get asked by therapists

to terminate therapy sessions

since I keep being informed

there’s no mental illness

except I must mature

about specific verbal conflict

against verbal abuse

As an adult woman I must not get upset

when others wish is to control me.

Otherwise I come out looking the fool.

No, I don’t go around

and get into confrontations with anyone.

Throughout the years and decades

I’ve been peaceful

and cleaned as a part time housewife

and part time wrote

and ran a documentary film company

then after fifteen years the film company was dissolved

and I continue to write

and mind my own business.

What more can one ask for? Nothing.

Not ever do I leave the house looking for trouble. No.

Yes, our neighbors are my best friends of three years.

For twenty years,

two family members

blatantly have asked me to go and get diagnosed

with some form of mental illness

to qualify for disability

and get money from the state.

Since 2008,

My current legal partner has asked me

To go and get diagnosed with some form of mental illness

To specifically qualify for disability

And get money from the state.

In August 2017, hesitantly I asked

a health psychological medical professional

if I would be approved

for some type of official mental illness

since two family members and husband

have repeatedly asked since 2008

to have me ask medical psychological experts

to diagnose me

with something or other or with mental illness

to specifically qualify for disability

and the medical psychological experts

tell me I don’t have a mental illness. I’m simply human.

Yes, directly I discuss with psychological experts

About the strong wish three people in my life have for me

To receive disability and I’ve only discussed

This with the psychological experts

because I get embarrassed to ask if

I qualify for disability or not.

Bad intelligence.

As far as I know I’m constant

and a stay-at-home body

since most of life is much physical chores

therefore I rest on vacations

and keep quiet and to myself

and do computer work

or nightly read articles in bed.

No, I haven’t had any cash or much of any money since 2007.

2. Yes, I have more benign thyroid tumors

(What a true disappointment)

3. Simply, I’m “immature” about first taking care of myself.

Born in Costa Rica in 1977

And as a little girl

I was always taught

first

take care of others in the village

then the village would in turn take care of each other

especially women and children

4. In Costa Rica the overall middle class doesn’t starve

And there’s equal distribution of

Socialist programs and tax revenue

5. Whenever I’m continually

hungry or possibly annoyed to bear witness to

harsh or unjustified criticism

or bullying or undermining or belittling

or berating or oppression or socio-economic injustice

or social engineering against civilians and citizens

Then I get annoyed with continual disrespect

In 20 years, 7 verbal altercations

Against racism and discrimination and blatant lies

Did take place

Factually occurred out of my mouth

And I lost my temper and gave heated lectures.

Human error.

6. Lie #11: No, I haven’t ever made a bowel movement

into my hands and

flung it at anyone much less the neighbors. Ha.

Please. I made up verbal lie #11 as of early May 2017

to spiritually test 7 people.

Goodness me. Gracious me.

Can one actually see me fling my own bowel movement? Nope.

7. No, I haven’t ever punched anyone

No, I haven’t ever murdered anyone nor do I know how to

Yes, once, I threatened to kill, however, I know better

I love.

Always from a place of tough love.

No, I don’t hold grudges.

Simply, I self preserve the best way I know how to.

Hide. Laugh. Work. Peacefully live. Read.

8. The Maya don’t commit suicide.

Death comes to us all soon enough.

9. At a young age, I

Developed a bad disposition

Toward modern violence and racism

And control over women’s reproductive rights

And personal attacks against one’s own person

And I firmly stand against male chauvinism

And a brutal dusty and outdated police state force

And sexual harassment

And male economic control over resources and finances

And lack of same pay for same work

10. After five months

of calm and quiet

I prove I am a fully equipped

Sane mature adult woman with rights

Who keeps quiet with my family members

Since I used to be a spoiled brat

And my family allowed for me to be a brat

By being caught off guard and randomly

While in public I was called either

“ugly” or the “c” word

or the “n” word or “b” word.

Wow.

Please, have some self respect.

10.5. Allowed to constantly cross my personal boundaries

Simply it’s easy to criticize

the most ill mannered

family member

when poked and prodded

like a hibernating bear.

11. No, I’m not mentally ill.

11.5. No, I don’t appreciate being

sexually or physically or mentally or psychologically

harassed by family members

because I don’t like being forced

to agree with perpetrators

when slights are made

Even the slightest French kiss by a relative

Or the slightest physical attack

is enough to make the stomach turn

12. Simply, defensive when abused

or personally attacked about physical attributes

or love withheld

when it’s difficult to control me as a modern woman

who constantly seeks out fairness, justice and humanity.

13. My current legal partner and I separated bedrooms

March of 2015.

My legal current partner moved to the basement.

Fall of 2015 we once again shared the same bedroom.

Simply, for women’s health:

From fall 2015,

My current legal partner

And I shared the same bedroom

Until the end of May 2017

From July 2013 through January 2017

We did our best to be sexual

However, our dog continually jumped on top of us

We’d have to stop to put the dog out of the room

Even though the dog

whined and cried through the closed door

Life happens

Respectful sexual relations between adults

while children live at home

must be nearly impossible.

14. My current legal partner and I broke up April of 2016.

15. One must not speak ill of the dead. Ha.

16. Yes, I’m instructed to stay in overpriced Twin Cities

Yours Truly;

Gabriel

Word Count Goal of the Week: 5,000

Word Count: 1,979

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